Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Red Flags
I'm a longtime lurker and have never been compelled to post, but the reactions in a previous post really got me thinking. Why wouldn't having a SO that tells you they are bisexual not be a red flag if you are not bisexual yourself? I am not a conservative Republican, I believe everyone has the freedom to love whom ever they want. I don't mean to offend anyone, because I am honestly curious about others reasoning on the matter of it not at least being a "yellow flag"...
Re: Red Flags
uh well i think more of it was that - (i got the impression this was the case) he seemed to be struggling with his sexuality as opposed to being definitively bi or definitively gay, kwim?
I actually agree with you. I'm not conservative Republican either (or even a moderate Republican) and I would consider it a red/yellow flag. Like a whole host of other things, it's something that I'd want to at least talk about and dig a little deeper on. Identifying as bi can mean many different things to many different people. I don't think there is anything wrong with viewing it as a red/yellow flag and saying that you'd like to find out more about what being bi means to the person identifying that way.
Also, I'll be honest. It'd be my preference to not date someone who identifies as bi. I may get flamed for that sentiment, but I don't think it's any different than people who say they won't date outside their race (which I have and currently am doing) or religion (which I have done).
I understand that being bi is different from being gay or lesbian. I also understand that it doesn't mean that a person is unsure of who they are attracted to. By the same token, I think you'd agree that a person who self-identifies as bi, may not have the same feelings or level of attraction to one gender or the other as you do.
All I'm saying is, that for me, it'd be important to talk about what being bi means to the person I'm dating. If a guy identifies as bi (as one of my friends does) but dates men (and is sexually active with men) 95% of the time, that's honestly probably not a guy I would want to date. If the statistics were reversed, I'd probably be more open to it.
This is what I was thinking...And I would need to do ALOT of talking and so I begin to question that if I felt the need to talk to someone that much about their orientation it would probably just be best if I didn't agree to a relationship, I would always wonder "are they getting tired of me, do they miss being held by a man..."
Thank you for your honesty and helping me understand another perspective
This is how I think as well. If a person makes a commitment to me and has a good track record of being faithful to whoever they date, then what is the difference?
I would rather be with a bi man who has never cheated on a SO than a straight man whore.
Anatomy
Ok, I respect your perference.
This makes no sense. Bisexual men don't have a different anatomy from heterosexual men.
Ah, the fabled bisexual penis. It's shape shifting properties have mystified morons for ages.
We're kind of going out.
Lol @ Melinda and Kuss.
I hate the unfair perception that bisexual people can't be faithful. It's 110% ridiculous. If you trust your partner and aren't suffering from a plethora of self-esteem issues, this isn't an issue. And, really, a relationship without trust between people who lack confidence is pretty well doomed, regardless of sexual preference.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
You misunderstood. The anatomy that bisexulas are attracted to are different...that's the difference...so isn't it possible that they could miss the pleasure of what the other gender satisfies if they stay with a particular gender for a long period of time...which could lead to issues down the line....thus being a red flag
But anyway, Thank you everyone for their input, I am still confused as to why the other poster was attacked for saying it was a red flag. But everyone is entitled to their opinions as well as to their lifestyles and not everyone has to agree or understand. To each his own. Thanks again for your input.
Melinda, I love you. Does that mean my anatomy just changed?
Yes. It is now a hexagon.
We're kind of going out.
Maybe I misunderstood Kuus or she misunderstood me but I was talking about the anatomy of whom bisexuals are attracted to NOT the anatomy of bisexuals themselves. (my post right before your post.)
Oooh, hot!
mrs2b, your reasoning makes no sense whatsoever. My husband is attracted to a particular type of anatomy, which I happen to have. There are, however, several other people who have that same anatomy and they are, shockingly, more attractive than me. I'm sure my husband would agree that I am not the most sexually attractive member of the human race. But I'm not worried that he is going to cheat on me with someone who is more well-endowed because he has chosen to be with me in a monogamous relationship. I imagine it works the same way for monogamous bisexuals.
I was not trying to make a joke about anyone's orientation. I don't think it's funny. But I apprieciate you turning something serious into something comical?
I can only assume you'd be very nervous as a brunette to date someone who had only dated blondes. Or if you're pretty small someone who'd only been with curvier women. Or if you're short, someone who only had dated amazons.
There's a lot of variation to miss out on even if you're straight. Most people find monogamy to be worth it, bisexual or no.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
I think you just kinda made the lightbulb come "on" in my head....hmmmm....wow...Thank you!