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Moms - I have a ? for you

I should probably post this on SP board on TB but....

Do you send clothes to your ex's house for DC of does he provide his own?  

 

When E was in preschool it wasn't a big deal to send a suitcase in but now that she is in 1st grade I can't do it.  1...they don't have the room and 2...I don't want to call her out and have her friends ask questions, etc.  

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Re: Moms - I have a ? for you

  • imagewedding18:

    Do you send clothes to your ex's house for DC of does he provide his own?  

    I'm not a mom, but I can speak for L.  He provides clothes for his DD at his house.  When he picks her up on his day, he just makes sure she gets the outfit she was wearing when she goes back to her mom's.

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  • With my sister who is 10, she has clothes at my moms and her dad provides them at her house. The only difference is her nice clothes from Justice stay at my moms and her dad provides clothes from Goodwill.

    Luckily I don't have to worry with my son as his dad isn't around.

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  • I do not provide clothes. I have 2 boys and whenever they are at their dads house, they have a room and closet of clothes there.

     

  • I do not have to deal with this... but from what I have seen/been told by others both parents should have clothing at their own home for their child.
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  • Thanks. 
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  • My DD has clothes at her dads but they are mostly play clothes...when he dresses her for school I send an outfit and he sends it back.  She has a special blanket that goes between houses too so that gets shared.  MY Bf has clothes for his daughter there and then sends his DD home in the outfit she came in. 

  • My DS has clothes at his dad's.  If I know he's doing something special/sports related/whatever, I send specific stuff along in his backpack to school on Friday, but most of the time I don't.  His dad gets a lot of stuff at consignment shops so if it's not worn a ton, it's not a big deal since the kid grows every other day.
  • I do not provide clothes for DS when he's with XH.  I had been losing a lot of clothes to XH (he wouldn't return DS in the outfit he picked him up in on a Friday, nor would he send it back), so I'll try to send DS to daycare on those Friday's in an outfit XH has sent him home to me in. If that makes sense....

    This last weekend, XH actually brought DS home in the same (clean) outfit he picked him up from daycare in on that Friday. I was shocked....and pleasantly surprised.

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    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Good post...this was an issue for XW and I.  I finally just wilted and bought kids all of their own clothes for when at my place...but I can already see one complication:

    2 of my girls are over the age of 10.  I have noticed that how they look and fashion is carrying more importance for them as they get older.  So when they get clothes from grandparents or myself  I dont like telling them those clothes have to stay at my house because they want to wear their new clothing to school, hanging with friends, etc when they arent with me.

  • STBX/ILs and I provide our own clothes for DS. I try to send DS to him in an outfit he dropped him off in. If not, STBX is really good about sending back the clothes I bought (and then usually some his family bought... I save those to send DS back in)
  • it looks like I am the only one who packs up for my EX.  What prompted this was the fact that all DD's clothes from last weekend came home dirty. He didn't even wash a pair of socks.  That and the fact that I have to leave the clothes on my front porch for him to pick up and I am so worried that someone will steal them.  I told him a couple of weeks ago that I wasn't going to provide for him any longer and he said  "what do I give you support for?"  To which I responded...food, heat, a roof over her head, clothes for the other 22 days a month. 
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  • imagewedding18:
    it looks like I am the only one who packs up for my EX.  What prompted this was the fact that all DD's clothes from last weekend came home dirty. He didn't even wash a pair of socks.  That and the fact that I have to leave the clothes on my front porch for him to pick up and I am so worried that someone will steal them.  I told him a couple of weeks ago that I wasn't going to provide for him any longer and he said  "what do I give you support for?"  To which I responded...food, heat, a roof over her head, clothes for the other 22 days a month. 
    My counsin's ex-h tried getting his CS reduced by saying he bought this-and-this-and-this for their son for school (standard things like supplies and clothes). Judge just looked at him and said "That's called being a parent" and denied the reduction.

    STBX and I used to share a diaper bag that we would swap. But I got tired of it getting to me empty or close to it, making me refill it when its just me and his parents are helping him with DS. So I got my own diaper bag.

    You are right that his CS does not mean you supply EVERYTHING. He needs to step up and do something. Parent is a verb, not a noun.

  • imagejm5855:

    Good post...this was an issue for XW and I.  I finally just wilted and bought kids all of their own clothes for when at my place...but I can already see one complication:

    2 of my girls are over the age of 10.  I have noticed that how they look and fashion is carrying more importance for them as they get older.  So when they get clothes from grandparents or myself  I dont like telling them those clothes have to stay at my house because they want to wear their new clothing to school, hanging with friends, etc when they arent with me.

    In a perfect world the clothing would be even in both places and it wouldn't be "his and mine" it would just boil down to which oufits are here and there at the specific time. The kids might be old enough to choose which outfits go where, rather than the parents. As long as both parties provide equally there should always be enough to go around.

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  • imagebeccaga16:
    imagejm5855:

    Good post...this was an issue for XW and I.  I finally just wilted and bought kids all of their own clothes for when at my place...but I can already see one complication:

    2 of my girls are over the age of 10.  I have noticed that how they look and fashion is carrying more importance for them as they get older.  So when they get clothes from grandparents or myself  I dont like telling them those clothes have to stay at my house because they want to wear their new clothing to school, hanging with friends, etc when they arent with me.

    In a perfect world the clothing would be even in both places and it wouldn't be "his and mine" it would just boil down to which oufits are here and there at the specific time. The kids might be old enough to choose which outfits go where, rather than the parents. As long as both parties provide equally there should always be enough to go around.

    Yes but I wouldn't be seen with Ella in the stuff that his family buys for her.  Awful and totally NMS at all.  But as long as I am not with her I don't really care.  

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