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NSOR: Can you help with a really short work letter?

I need to put out a reeeeeally short little note to clients of a client.  My company made a mistake on their advertisement and I need to write an apology letter for the people who received this advertisement.  I'm having trouble with wording:

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It has been brought to our attention that we made an error in printing the most recent ******** coupon, expiring 12/31/11.  The price of ******  should be $75, not $34, as printed.  We have corrected this error for future mailings and apologize for any problems we have caused.

 

Re: NSOR: Can you help with a really short work letter?

  • imagesouthsam:

    It has been brought to our attention that we made an error in printing the most recent ******** coupon, expiring 12/31/11.  The price of ******  should be $75, not $34, as printed.  We have corrected this error for future mailings and apologize for any problems we have caused.

    It has been brought to our attention that a printing error was made in the most recent ******** coupon, expiring 12/31/11.  The listed/retail/actual price of ******  is $75, not the printed price of $34.  This corrected price will be reflected in future mailings.  We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.

     

    ETA: Changes in italics.  By taking out the "we made a mistake" language, it's ambiguous who made the mistake, you or the printing company (unless you're the printing company).  Don't assign blame, just state that a mistake was made.

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  • imageMintChocoChip:
    imagesouthsam:

    It has been brought to our attention that we made an error in printing the most recent ******** coupon, expiring 12/31/11.  The price of ******  should be $75, not $34, as printed.  We have corrected this error for future mailings and apologize for any problems we have caused.

    It has been brought to our attention that a printing error was made in the most recent ******** coupon, expiring 12/31/11.  The listed/retail/actual price of ******  is be $75, not the printed price of $34.  This corrected price will be reflected in future mailings.  We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.

    Ok.  You're right-- I like that a lot better.

    THANKS!

  • I designed the ad and sent it down to printing and they freaking changed a price.  It happens sometimes, I should have caught it (so it was partly my fault).
  • imagesouthsam:
    I designed the ad and sent it down to printing and they freaking changed a price.  It happens sometimes, I should have caught it (so it was partly my fault).

    No one needs to know Wink

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  • imageMintChocoChip:
    imagesouthsam:

    It has been brought to our attention that we made an error in printing the most recent ******** coupon, expiring 12/31/11.  The price of ******  should be $75, not $34, as printed.  We have corrected this error for future mailings and apologize for any problems we have caused.

    It has been brought to our attention that a printing error was made in the most recent ******** coupon, expiring 12/31/11.  The listed/retail/actual price of ******  is $75, not the printed price of $34.  This corrected price will be reflected in future mailings.  We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.

     

    ETA: Changes in italics.  By taking out the "we made a mistake" language, it's ambiguous who made the mistake, you or the printing company (unless you're the printing company).  Don't assign blame, just state that a mistake was made.

     

    To be perfectly honest, I think owning up to the mistake is much more powerful. Of course, details might well change this position. But on the whole, I like "I made a mistake" much more than "mistakes were made".

    image

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