September 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Do you think marriage is hard?
They were having a discussion on ML about it and I thought it was an interesting topic.
So, do you think marriage is hard? Why or why not?
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Re: Do you think marriage is hard?
Hard? Not really.
I think every relationship definitely has it's unique challenges, but so far my marriage hasn't been hard at all.
I'm sure I'll have a new perspective on that in the coming months though, since bringing a child into the relationship with change our whole dynamic.
I think marriage can be hard.
The HUGE reason I think it can be hard is that you sometimes have to put what you want aside even if you are 100% certain you're right for the wishes of another person. That's a very difficult thing to do, especially when you're passionate about the issue.
I also think it can be hard if you don't spend enough time together- it is easy to feel the distance, and it sneaks up on you quickly. I tip my hats to the ladies who work different shifts than their Hs and survive it- when mine was working crazy political hours and was only home 4 hours a day in the middle of the night, I seriously thought I was going to go insane.
There are littler things about marriage that are hard too- living together, especially if you haven't before; decisions on kids; decisions on where to live; decisions on budgeting.
Mostly though, I don't think it is that hard, I think it takes work. My day to day life is better with my husband than without it. He enriches my life in a way that is greater than simple companionship, and so to me the good outweighs the bad. Therefore, I'm willing to put in hours listening to basketball stats and watching video games or running through the dog park with him and Grace even if it isn't what I want to be doing at that point and time.
Stand up for something you believe in.
I agree with Michelle, hard no not really, does it take work, yes.
Every relationship has its ups and downs and hopefully there are more ups. I personally think if every marriage was perfect it would be boring. Do Billy and I fight or get angry at each other of course but I think solving those issues makes us stronger as a couple. I think we are so much stronger today than when we got married.
Well put, Mary.
I think there are aspects of it that CAN be hard, but I don't think the whole thing is hard. If that makes any sense at all.
Like, yes, sometimes I have the desire to punch my husband in the face. And it's HARD not to. But I don't!
updated 10.03.12
I'm torn on how to answer this because I think as someone who is young to get married, it can be really hard to try and grow yourself as a person while married. Our friend's sister is 21 and engaged and she is getting married next month just mere days after graduating. Several other girlfriends and I said the same thing when we heard the news, "Marriage is hard. She's too young."
But I cant tell you what is hard about it. Its just work, I guess. Its not something you can just expect to excel on its own. I also agree with some of the posters on ML that life is hard and sometimes that makes marriage hard too.
I think once you find your groove, like Mary said, and you find the things you are willing to compromise or endure for each other, it gets easier. And life with each other is better than life without each other because the good far outweighs the bad.
another ditto here. It's certainly not easy, but I wouldn't say it's that hard either. Hell, most of the time, my husband makes me life easier. Especially these days, I'm pretty sure I'd be a hot mess without him.
I think what Mary said is very true -- marriage is all about compromise and people that have trouble doing that will probably find their marriage hard.
My marriage isn't perfect, but it's pretty good. And we've definitely been tested with some heartbreaking circumstances over the last two years, and sometimes dealing with that stuff has been hard, and learning how each of us copes with difficulties individually, and what to do when I don't feel like DH grieves "right". From that perspective, I totally understand how circumstances like the loss of a child can drive a marriage apart, and it's probably the one big thing I'm/we're really working on right now.
But, for us, in normal day to day circumstances, I don't think it's hard.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
I don't think it's hard. I don't even really think we "work" at it. We've been very lucky, though, with certain circumstances like money and time together that cause problems in so many marriages.
Some people think they're failing at marriage if they fight. I don't think you can expect to live with someone, spend so much time together, make so many decisions together, and not fight. I fought with my sister and my mom, and my college roomate. That's just part of the deal with such a close relationship. If you're happy 90% of the time, you're happy.
Agreed- Mark and I have to work at it. Its hard when we dont see eye to eye or one of us feels like the other is slacking, but we work through it. Its harder with Charlotte but worth it. I wouldnt trade my marriage for anything.
This is us too. It hasn't been hard and we haven't really had to work at it yet but I expect at some point we will. I thought after having Nate it would change things but it hasn't really but I think a lot of it is bc he comes to work with me. We too are pretty fortunate to not argue over money or time spent together bc they're a non issue. Once I SAH I'm sure things will change.
:Blog:
On the opposite end of the spectrum from DD and Tonia my marriage is hard now, but it's worth it. And in all fairness our engagment period was no piece of cake either.
I was in law school the whole time we were engaged and it was when we first started living together...there was really not one easy thing about those 3 years except for when I was on holiday breaks and we actually got to spend time together. But we knew that would end.
Then we got married; I couldn't find a job and we moved into my parent's house out of necessity because on Jay's pay only we couldn't afford rent anywhere and still have electricity. Then I got a job but we're on opposite schedules. Jay leaves the house at 11pm and gets home around 9am and sleeps until about 6 with Sunday and Monday nights off; I work M-F leaving at around 7:30 and getting home around 5:30 and go to bed at 10 (I need a lot of sleep what can I say!). The most time we get to spend together is 4 hours a day, we have no full days off together and we sleep in the same bed at a max 2 nights a week. Right now, marriage is hard and probably will be for a little while longer until Jay gets better job and we're secure in the fact that we're buying the house from my parents.
The key thing is that we know that it won't be like this forever and that fact, plus all of the love and fun we share when we do get to spend time together make it all the hard in our marriage completely worth it. #hallmarkgreetingwhat?!?!?
I have my own issues in this marriage as some of you know. I don't think marriage is hard if you have a strong foundation and each partner is willing to work on hisher issues. When one person is not giving 100 percent marriage is hard.
We have our good days and bad but I want to make things work. We've been learning and growing a lot lately.
I'm really late, but here's my 2 cents.
DH and I were just talking about this the other day.
We've been through a lot since we've been married, but it has definitely made us closer. We've never really had any fights, but we have had disagreements. I think everytime though, we've resolved them before bedtime. We've learned to communicate really well and I think this is so important.
I'm probably the youngest on the board. I'm 23 and got married when I just turned 21. We had a long distance relationship before we got married and dated for only 2 years.
We are a lot alike and that helps, but we've also strengthened each other a lot.
Having said all that, I don't think marriage is hard, but you definitely have to work at keeping communication open, and putting the other before yourself.
Nope, I don't think you are...?
updated 10.03.12
Emily, Leslie, and I are 24, so she has us beat. Mckee is younger, though.
Oh ok, I thought I was. I just looked at the High school poll and I didn't see any around my graduation year, which was 2006. I just assumed. That's cool though!