Starting Over
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

If you met your SO online

At what point did you take your profile down?  Did you keep your eye on his to see if he was still logging on?  Did it bother you if he did?  Did you ever discuss it?

Re: If you met your SO online

  • Huge fan of communication with a SO.  I feel like both parties in the relationship can continue dating other people until they've had an exclusivity talk (I am really a one man kinda lady, so I probably wouldn't date - but certainly wouldn't be put off if he was still dating).  If you decide you are in fact exclusive, then yes, I think it's appropriate to deactivate your account and I would expect a SO to do the same. 
  • We both took ours down after two weeks (which, in hindsight, seems quick).

    Basically, two weeks in, The Artist mentioned something about not being quite sure "what to do" with his profile. I said something about how I wasn't responding to any messages at the moment.

    Then I thought about it for a day or two, and I wrote him an email telling him that I was taking mine down because I wasn't interested in meeting anyone else new right then -- that I was just interested in getting to know him more. He wrote back and said that he felt the same, and was also taking his down.

    I didn't/don't consider that an exclusivity talk, though. I just saw no point in keeping my profile up if I was just going to ignore all of the messages. (I was on OkCupid, so it was free anyway -- I wouldn't have been wasting any money.) I was going on dates with two other people around the time I met The Artist, but after a couple of weeks, I broke it off with the other guys.

    I think you have to be willing to be really open about this kind of stuff if you're going to do online dating. There are lots of people out there "gaming the system," I'm sure, and you don't want to be taken for a ride -- that's not fair.

    I've found that if I'm open and honest about what I'm doing and my intentions, guys are, too.  (i.e., I was just as open with guys I dated before The Artist about the fact that I was dating more than one person, and they needed to be okay with that. I like to set expectations openly rather than play the guessing game.)

    (this got really long - sorry)

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  • Like the PP, we took ours down pretty quickly after dating about 3 weeks. We were on a date and he mentioned not logging on anymore, and I said that I wasn't either and we somehow just decided that we'd both take our profiles down. We both had the OKC app on our phone so we just did it at the same time while we were on the date.

    My friend and I shared a dummy profile, so I did check once about a week or two later to see if his profile was still deactivated (and I told him that I had checked). I haven't checked since though. 

    someecards.com - North Carolina: Where you can marry your cousin. Just not your gay cousin.
  • Yay, good news.. I checked today and his profile is gone!  Big Smile
  • Pretty similar to PPS...after a few weeks when I realized I didnt want to talk to anyone else and wanted to give him my attention I took mine down and he had already said he took his down.  I havent gone back on to check to see if he really did b/c I trust him.  Not to say that the thought hasnt crosse dmy mind lol
  • We talked about it. After a month together we both took down our profiles together. This was part of our "being exclusive" talk.
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