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We broke up over tampons
I rarely post, but I like this board the best so I had to share this and if I am over-reacting, someone should tell me so I feel stupid. But I think I am right, damn it!
I dated a guy for a few months. Not long enough to get all weepy over this but I am still irritated. So, he's a nice guy, a good father (from what I can tell, we hadn't dated long enough to meet the kids yet) but this ONE thing bugged me to no end. His ex-wife (who I have only talked to on the phone once when she called for him, but she seemed ok enough) would always txt him and ask her to pick up odd things at the store for her when he was on the way to visit his son. Like these aforementioned tampons. I am 36 and know when I am gonna need them, I can get them myself, I don't send any exes out for them. Or, she had him grab her a new bra because "he knew her size". That was what really made me end it. Isn't this kind of crossing a boundary line? He told me I am old fashioned but I don't think so, I just don't buy intimate stuff for exes (let alone exes from years and years back.) Or is this not intimate and "just a product" as he claimed.
It's probably his complete refusal to stop buying her stuff becuase he thought it was fine, eeven though it bugged the hell out of me.
So, what say ye? Am I over sensitive? Or am I right?
It doesn't really matter since I wasn't that invested in him yet, but I want someone to agree with me! I am drinking and dwelling here lol
Re: We broke up over tampons
I'm not saying I disagree that it's weird, but I do disagree that there are no bra emergencies. I have a coworker who had one of her cups burst. It looked like she had spilled a cup of water all over herself and had to go to Target for a new shirt and bra. Bra emergency!
Either way, OP, you're not wrong. That's weird and she's definitely just exerting power over him and he's letting her.
Well, what I'm wondering - is this all the time that she's asking him, or is it just "here and there"? The reason I ask is that I have periods of time (due to my DH's job) where I go days w/ it just being me and DS. Quite honestly, I don't like to go to the store w/ him if I don't HAVE to. Or between getting off of work and getting home and getting dinner ready, getting him to bed, etc, I literally may not have time.
If I really need something, sometimes I will ask my parents to pick something up for me on their way over to see DS.
If she's a single mom, I could see where sometimes she really could use a favor like this.
But. BUT. The bra? That's weird. And if the above actually is all the time - yes, I think I would be bothered by that as well.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I wouldnt even ask my DH to pick up either of those for me! (Not that he wouldnt, its just that I would never ask it of him!)
I agree with others....she just showing she still has POWER
Yeah, but that was at work. There are no bra emergencies at your own damn house!
OP, I think you dodged a major bullet here.
Yeah, I think you dodged a bullet with this guy.
That just sounds bizarre. Can YOU imagine ever calling your ex and asking him to pick you up tampons and a 34DD?
Yeah, I thought not.
To me the real kicker is that he seemed not to respect your own boundaries about the issue, or instead of talking to you about it on a mature level, just called you old-fashioned and refused to consider how you felt about it.
Good riddance!
My own husband bought me pants once and I thought that was weird. Pants shopping is personal! I can't even fathom having another man (let alone my ex) buy me a bra.
If this was an isolated "hey you're on your way over and I really need some tampons" thing I would say forget about it, but it doesn't sound like it was. I think you made the right choice.
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I went to bed but yeah, she asked him to do things like tampon fetching a lot. There are some other examples but the bra and tampons bothered me the most. I mean, once she asked 3 times in the same week. She must be really anemic with all that blood loss.
Anyway, I am over it and have a date with a sparkly new guy this weekend. Go me!