Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Small Children at Thanksgiving
So our niece is almost 4 years old and she is... well... a holy terror.
For her 12 year old brother's birthday she literally ran around the house screaming the entire time we were there (about 3.5 hours). Her mother is too lazy to find the child something constructive to do or to discipline her when it's appropriate. Instead, her mother just sits there and yells or ignores her and doesn't do anything at all. As I'm sure you can understand, just because her mother is ignoring the behavior doesn't mean the rest of us can or should have to ignore it. We ended up leaving the birthday party early after her behavior turned my headache into a full blown migraine.
That's the bad news. The worse news? This child is going to be in our house all day on Friday, after Thanksgiving (for Turkey Day Round 2). Any ideas on how I can keep her occupied and give her something constructive to do so she doesn't drive us all mad?
All thoughts and ideas are greatly appreciated! 
P.S. Yes, I understand that she has learned that this behavior is ok because of her mother's lack of parental direction. Unfortunately, that's not really something I can do much about. At the same time, I have to come up with some sort of plan so that the rest of the family isn't miserable all day (and so that I don't lose my mind and/or my temper).
Re: Small Children at Thanksgiving
Whoever is related to the mother/dad has to take the lead. That means if it's your sister's daughter, you talk to her. If it's your H's sister (or your H's brother's wife) your H has to be in charge.
First of all, I wonder if "all day" would be a good idea. Why not have the family come later in teh afternoon? (or, if you are eating early, around 1 hour before the meal?).
Is there a room in your house that is child-proof? I'd buy a baby gate and keep her in there so she can't wander all around the house. Rent some kiddy videos or dvds from the library or redbox and set her in a room where she can watch them.
Suggest that the mom take her to the park or on a walk. Or, if mom / dad are too lazy, maybe someone else in the family can let her run around. Even in the backyard or around your block!
Martha Stewart has some "kids table" ideas, like making a mat out of brown stock paper that with a pre-printed turkey, then leaving crayons at the table, or having a pie tin with kiddy toys.
Put your sister/brother at the end in the "kids section" and let them handle her during dinner. If she misbehaves, someone needs to say "this is over-whelming for her. Why don't you take her into the kitchen."
Oh dear... I have both a 3 and a 4 year old girl BTW and we have our days... this sounds like a rough situation though.
Here are some quick ideas that might help:
- Toys. Not that you have to buy any for her - but if you happen to have a friend/relative with some hand me downs she could keep that might help. Age appropriate puzzles, doll house, cooking pots and pans, blocks, trains, dress-ups or anything that is "new to her" might help her be focused.
- Washable Crayons and Coloring Books or anything crafty from the dollar store. Beading and Necklace making is good - playdoh too is very inexpensive but someone needs to supervise her with that. Maybe books too - but another relative would have to read them to her.
- Videos/Shows if you have Netflix they have streaming Dora the Explorer and Diego videos and if you can rent, buy or borrow from the library Disney Princess movies. That will help for a while - though out of respect I would check with her Mom to make sure that is OK with her first.
- Turkey Plates with Dividers for the food. (I got these at Target last month they might be gone by now maybe a Christmas one). My older daughter is fussy and doesn't like her foods to touch each other... and that might avoid a melt-down for you.
- Playing outside. If your DH or someone can take her outside for a walk or to kick a ball - that truly is the best thing for children and could get her out from underneath your feet.
Good Luck! Let us know how it goes...
There seems to be bigger issues .... but to answer your question, I'd get a babysitter-type kid to come-over for a few hours to supervise/play with the young kids. It's not as pricey as babysitting, but well worth a few bucks for PEACE of mind. We have a 3.5 yo and a lovely 7th grade neighbor who loves to play with crayons, play dough and lead clean-up.
Bottom-line: If child's parents check-out and you don't want to supervise - hire someone. Local.
The outside idea keeps my child happy and keeps them out of your house!
Also, go to AC Moore and get some cheap crafts. Alot of people are using those sticky foam things so you don't have to use glue or crayons which can also destroy your house.