Trouble in Paradise
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pre-divorce finance sorting

A short back story: FIL is ready to separate from MIL. The problem is that she's an accountant and has handled all of their finances, all of the time, and FIL is (rightfully) concerned that she is going to hide as much money as she can. Based on prior conversation, it appears that they have all joint accounts.

DH is busy coping with the sh!tstorm that has (finally) led FIL to this decision, so I am trying to help by coming up with any and all steps that FIL can do to protect his share of the financial assets *without* tipping her off about his plans. In addition to getting statements for all of their accounts, I was going to recommend opening a separate checking account and then having his paychecks deposited there when he is ready to drop the bomb. What else can he do to protect himself?

TIA!

"Your theory is crazy...but it's not crazy enough to be true." - Niels Bohr

Re: pre-divorce finance sorting

  • As soon as he files for divorce, your finances are frozen meaning anything she does regarding the couple's finances will be held against her. 
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  • He needs the last ten years' income tax filings; ten years of retirement account fund records, bank records, savings, stocks, bonds, 401k etc records. He needs copies of bills, titles, credit reports, bills, payment records, checking account records, as far back as he can get them. He should have copies of all this stuff stored OFF SITE so if she files first and throws him out of the house he can still have access to the records.

    And seriously? You and dh should be staying out of this.

     

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  • Thanks so much! I would have never thought to try to go back so far with bank records, but it's brilliant, and FIL will be much reassured that she can't do anything without consequences once paperwork is filed.

    DH and I will otherwise be hiding under a rock during this process. He's just overwhelmed with his own emotions right now (and not dealing with the drama that's happening over at the ILs'). These financial tips will be the extent of our involvement! After that, it's back under the rock as the drama-rama unfolds...I promise to share any TIP-worthy stories!

    "Your theory is crazy...but it's not crazy enough to be true." - Niels Bohr
  • The only advice your FIL should be taking is that of a divorce lawyer who is well-versed in his state's laws. He probably shouldn't do anything before hiring one; he could really screw himself over if he does the wrong thing. 
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  • See a lawyer ASAP for advice on how to protect himself, how best to proceed and what the state rights and responsibilities for each party are in his state.

    I would copy all important papers (tax return, bank statements etc )

  • Thanks to everyone who's replied. You're absolutely right about copies of financial documents and lawyers, and DH and I will sit back and repeat "we love you. talk to a lawyer about this." as many times as necessary!
    "Your theory is crazy...but it's not crazy enough to be true." - Niels Bohr
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