Trouble in Paradise
magsugar13
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
She is mad because stepmom is pregnant.
All her anger at dad is directed at smom...it's all HER fault!
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/60475113.aspx
Re: She is mad because stepmom is pregnant.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Oh, look. She is finally an MRS!!! Do you think it took her as long to get that as it took Smock to get her PhD?
I get being dumbfounded and maybe a little weirded out by it. Her father is 52, not exactly the the age most people carry around infants that they conceived, especially if they already have grown children.
I don't think she should be angry, though. And if she has to be angry at anyone (which is stupid to begin with), she needs to be angry with her father.
I think if there weren't underlying issues this wouldn't be as big of a deal as it seems to her right now.
I'm guessing it wasn't the stepmom who drove the supposed wedge between them. I'm guessing the OP with her "world revolves around me" outlook on life did it.
I love how it's all the stepmom's fault. Like her dad has no independent will or something.
I can kind of see why she feels the way she does. She has a crappy dad, and that can really hurt. Everyone wants to be loved by their parents, and when you're not, but that parent can shower love and affection on someone else, it stings.
I agree that her anger is misplaced, though.
That her SM attend her graduation and wedding was a given -- and like I said, I'll bet she's got the dad by the balls and the dad fully enables his wife.
She should have cut them off if they have treated her that horribly. Why hang around where you aren't wanted or cared about?
Maybe out of hope that things will change someday?
She needs therapy. Bad.
I grew up in a situation a lot like hers. My dad re-married when I was about 10 to a woman who had a one-year-old son. My dad ended up adopting her son. He stopped being much of a parent to my sister and me in the years to come and let my stepmother teat us horribly. I blamed her for it for a long time. He's been a great father to my now 18-year-old brother.
I spent a lot of years believing that there was something wrong with me because of all that. My dad decided he didn't want to be a dad to me and that was bad enough but seeing him be a dad to someone else was like salt in the wound. I honestly thought there had to be a reason that he wanted to be a father, just not to me. It's hard to see that happen and not believe that there must be something wrong with you. (God, I still get choked up just thinking about it).
But I dealt with that sh!t a long time ago and realized that it was his fault - not hers, not mine, his. And I did what I had to for me to be able to deal with it and move on and be able to handle the situation like an adult. She's clearly still in an extremely immature mindset about the whole thing and needs to address it.
BFP #4 It's a BOY!
CP: July 2011
BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
Totally agree with this.
As for the stepmom ... she needs to get over it.
Incidentally, here is my 35-ish year old cousin's FB status from the weekend: "How many of you can say you've hosted a baby shower for your stepmother??"
Apparently my aunt was not only a guest but helped to host it. I think the stepmother is maybe 5 years older than my cousin, if that.
Interesting thread.
She needs to get over it and live her own life.
DH and I would have a baby together if we could, and honestly, I would not give a crap what anyone thinks of it, even his kids, who are 21 and 29, and I would not have consulted them beforehand either. They do not discuss their reproductive plans with us, and frankly, I would be appalled if they did - that is their business.