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Ugh...holiday family headaches starting early this year...
My MIL is kind of a pain in the neck. I feel guilty complaining because she is good to me, but she's just very high maintenance. I usually stay out of it and try not to let it bother me because I only see her about once a year for a few days, she's elderly and not in great health, and she only has two relatives - my husband and her alcoholic brother. So, we are really all she's got, so it's just easier to deal for a few days a year than to fight with her.
Last year, my husband and I travelled to see my parents on Thanksgiving, her on Christmas, and friends for New Years. We were burnt out and told everyone that this year, we were staying put. I just didn't want to travel anywhere, I wanted to cook our own dinners and relax at home.
So, MIL is flying up for Thanksgiving (she lives in Orange County). Fine, great - it's just for four days and I haven't seen her in almost a year. She called last night to ask if she could invite her good friend, who lives near us, over for Thanksgiving dinner. No problem, we said. It's not like cooking Thanksgiving for 4 is any harder than Thanksgiving for 3, and MIL hasn't seen her friend in 3 or 4 years.
She just called now and said her friend will be joining us for dinner. Except the friend is having cataract surgery that week and can't drive. So someone has to go pick her up before dinner and bring her home afterwards. MIL told her that would be fine.
This woman lives 25 miles away. DH's classmate was walking through the door when MIL called to tell us the news to work on a project so I haven't really discussed this with him yet.
MIL can't really walk distances or move around well at all and gets tired easily. Getting her up the 5 steps into our house is going to be a major challenge. So, I have no doubt she expects one of us to spend the 2-3 hours in the car playing taxi service that day.
Ugh. I'm just annoyed that our quiet Thanksgiving at home is already getting more stressful. If we refuse to do it, we've got a cranky, unpleasant MIL who will be annoyed all day long. But, I'm already exhausted just thinking about the idea.
Next year, we are telling everyone we are out of the country and just not answering our phones.
Re: Ugh...holiday family headaches starting early this year...
ha! honestly, if you are the cook and DH is willing to do the driving then maybe it will be nice to have the place to yourself while they all go do that crap and you can avoid it all? I would put it in DH's hands, basically. Maybe he can ask his mom that if he picks friend up than friend can arrange for a ride home? Or visa versa? Maybe blame it on gas prices? I mean if the freind is gonna pay you all back at all for gas (which she should offer) than I don't see the difference between that and getting a cab one way.
What a pain. I hate the type thing where you agree, then there is some hidden chore that has to be taken care of, like this person doesn't eat thanksgiving food, or now dinner has to be at 3 instead of 7, etc. Why can't MIL rent a car and drive to get her friend?
Good luck for your quiet, at home Christmas... lol.
By her a bus pass.
If I were being charitable, I'd say that time in the car will be good bonding for your H and his mom, and good free time alone. ?Or, if I were being me, I'd buy her a bus pass.?
my read shelf:
Sorry for the uber short response before - I was on my phone and can only type while the page is still loading.
Anyway, if it's a bother for YH to play chauffuer all day, just call your MIL's friend a car service. You can pay by credit card and give MIL a smaller Christmas present this year.
ETA: I don't know California geography, but the recommended car company for our San Francisco office is DeSoto Cabs, (415) 970-1300
Sounds like a pain, but it's good to do nice things for olds
They did lots of nice things for us...
And I totally agree -- you stay in the kitchen with a large glass of wine. Hubz does the driving / logistics / etc. And maybe you can get him to agree to entertain them with hors d'oeurvres if you need more time/space.