International Nesties
EnidFalcor
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Q for Vegetarians
As a vegetarian, do you plan to raise your kids (either real or theoretical) as vegetarians?
If no, why not?
If so, what do you plan to tell them if they asked for meat for example when they saw others eating it?
Is your SO a vegetarian? If not, do they plan to support your choice to feed your child as a vegetarian (if that's your plan) and if so how will you manage the logistics of that?
Re: Q for Vegetarians
Interesting question.... doesn't totally pertain to me in that I am not vegetarian (I do eat fish & poultry) but it does make me think about how I will handle this with regards to other dietary restrictions we follow in our household. DH will not eat any pork or shellfish for religious reasons. I don't eat any red meat (I know, pork is white) so don't eat any pork anyway. I do occasionally eat shellfish outside of the house. We haven't given DS any shellfish yet and I don't think we will, but it is something I guess I need to think about.
We do have to bring T his own special cupcake to birthday parties as he is allergic to eggs and we want him to have a treat to enjoy while the other children are eating cake. That's easier to explain, however - "if you eat the cake, you will become very sick."
V doesn't eat meat and won't eat meat under my control. Once she is out and about and wants to make her own choices she can do that obviously, but while I am preparing all her food/making her food choices she won't and when she is able to understand I will explain to her why we are vegetarians.
I am still really uncertain as to what I'll say when she can actually ask about meat. Right now she might reach for DH's food (he eats meat) and we just say no, that is dad's meal and give her something else. As of now, I feel like it's the same as saying no to letting her drink pop or eat something that is a choking hazard. But when she enters the 'why' phase of life, I want to be able to give her an honest answer that won't offend others (including her father.)
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Just curious - what is your reason for being a vegetarian?
I want her to be able to understand that meat is an actual animal that was once living. I know that sounds a little crazy, and I know she won't be there for quite a while, but DH and I both agree that we want her to understand the moral AND health implications of meat. I know this will be a gradual process, I'm just curious if others have experiencce/thoughts on this.
I don't prepare DH's meat. He is what I would call a vegetarian at heart. He has cut back on his meat probably 75% in the last couple of years, so this wouldn't be an issue at every meal. I'm sort of leaning towards coming up with an answer for when she asks for daddy's food that DADDY gives, so that it sounds more like an explanation from him and not an accusation from.
I'm not delusional to think we'll never give in and let her try it, but I want to hold off as long as possible on that until I feel I can explain things more. We have a couple books that are for kids that we read explaining vegetarianism, but her cognitive ability is far frmo that comprehension yet.
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Interesting! I think it's a good point though, maybe I'm overthinking it and I should just be blunt and factual with her from early on and let her accept that as the way it is instead of worrying so much about what I am telling her and how that looks to other people?
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We don't have kids yet, but DH is not a vegetarian and we have discussed this. We haven't really set anything in stone, but we're both trying to be open-minded and we have sort of an ongoing discussion.
What we have decided is that when the kid is old enough to make his/her own decisions, she can decide on her own what she wants to eat. This includes birthday parties and stuff like that. Until then, I will not cook meat or serve meat to her. If we are all eating together, we will usually eat vegetarian (like we do now, w/o kids). If we're having something where DH is eating meat and I'm not...well, that's where we haven't really figured it out yet! DH wants our kids to be exposed to a broad spectrum of foods from early on, and I totally agree with that, in theory. In *my* ideal world, the whole family would only eat vegetarian at home, and then I guess DH and the kids could eat meat when we were out. But DH does eat some meat at home, so we may give that to the kid, may wait until she asks to try it...I'm not really sure.
I'm kind of rambling, but I guess it's because we haven't worked out how we're going to do this. But our kids will not be raised exclusively vegetarian, although they will probably eat mostly vegetarian food. I would love for them to decide to be vegetarians, but I realize that probably won't happen, and I am honestly 100% ok with that.
Cute story along these lines -- my godson is allergic to peanuts and knows it. When he was about 4, they got a package and when the little styrofoam pieces came out, he asked his mom what they were called. She said, "Packing peanuts." And he threw them out of his hands and backed away with wide eyes, saying, "I can't touch peanuts!!"
OH MY GOD that is so adorable!!
Too cute! I'm sure he'll be hearing that story for years to come!
Cecilia arrived 12 October 2012
We aren't vegetarian but I'm deathly allergic to shellfish so we won't be serving our kids any until we get them tested. DH doesn't eat shellfish at home so it's a non-issue.
I grew up in a kosher household and it honestly took me years to figure out that we ate differently than other people. My parents just explained it to me very clearly as I got older and I started noticing. They would explain the restrictions to my friend's parents when I'd eat at theirs (we weren't strict kosher so I could eat at other people's houses) and we stayed vegetarian when we went out to eat.
I honestly think it takes longer for kids to notice things like this than you might think!
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
This brings up a good point! I never thought of how I would deal with explaining to friend's parents. But I'm sure by then there will be a lot moer kids raised from birth as vegetarians than when we were younger.
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I'm an on-again-off-again vegetarian. I'm thinking of going back to it....
I don't have kids, but I don't think I would ever force my kids to adopt the same dietary restrictions that I choose. In my opinion, forcing your kids to be vegetarian is just as bad as non-veggie parents forcing the vegetarian kid to eat meat.
I would feed my kid more or less what me and my husband eat (I could never get him to give up meat), and when they were old enough I would explain that some people eat meat and others choose not to, and let them make their own decision.
Edited to add: Over the last year I've become lactose intolerant. I'm pretty sure that it's due to a few military deployments in countries where there was NO real milk, so went months and months with no dairy. Anyway, after my last deployment, I came home and started eating dairy again, and made the painful realization that I'm intolerant. So I feel the kid's frustration about no more dairy:-) "What do you mean I can't eat any more ICE CREAM?!?! BUT I WANT AN ICE CREAM!!!!" It sucks.
My opinion on this probably won't be very popular, but it stems from the way I was raised.
I believe that you should have your children do whatever you do, up to a certain point. So if you are a vegetarian then you cook and feed them vegetarian dishes. If their father cooks and eats his own meat, then why shouldn't they be allowed that option? You're not feeding them the meat, he is. Once they are old enough to make their own choice, they should be allowed to make it.
My father is Jewish and my mother is Catholic, and they raised me to be very open minded. I knew from an early age that everyone has different beliefs and ways of life and that just because it's different doesn't make it any better or worse than my own. They never asked me to believe the way that they do, they let me explore on my own and make my own choice. I think that strategy could very well work in this situation as well.
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anyway. I'll cook as I do now. I usually stick something made of meat in the oven for DH. I'm not squeamish about meat, it's all ethical with me. So, kids will get veggie food made for them but if they ask to taste Daddy's meal and he's willing to share then I have no problem with it.
Kids naturally love animals. When they get old enough to ask for Daddy's food I'll explain where it comes from and let them choose. Obviously I won't horrify a child with details but simplify it to their level of understanding.
Then we'll gang up on DH together lol
I get what you ladies are saying, but we make tons of choices for our kids up to a point on what they are restricted from. We might be drinking a beer and we don't let them. Kosher diets are a great example, too. Once she is old enough to understand (as Loopy said, even in a basic way) where meat comes from, I'll let her make that choice.
But I am imposing this value on her the same way people impose many others, such as religion, and I feel just as strongly about it after making logical choices to have this lifestyle. If you are a church going person and want that value in your child's life, you take them to church. If they say, at 2, I dont' watn to go to church I want to sleep in on Sunday or play at the park on Sunday or whatever because I see other kids doing it, I imagine most people don't just give up on their plans to involve their cihld in church. In this chase, it's just a different belief system. You don't let a small child make all their choices, so I dont' feel bad making this choice for her because in the end, it is healthier.
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Lurker here:
I grew up, for the most part, vegetarian. My parents are vegetarians and became so before I was born due to ethical reasons. It was never a problem. They never had to explain it to friends' parents, mainly because by the time I had friends I didn't like meat and didn't want to eat it. I remember being young (4-6ish?) and being at birthday parties where they were serving meat. One was sloppy joes and the other was mac and cheese with hot dogs. I didn't eat it. I didn't know why, just that I didn't like meat. Little kids have weird food preferences anyway. I'm sure my childhood best friend's parents just figured out what I wouldn't eat and never cooked it, because I am certain my parents didn't tell them that we didn't eat meat.
I don't ever remember my parents explaining to me "this is why we don't eat meat" but as I got older I ate more pepperoni (on pizza) and chicken (when I left home). It was a little harder when I was young-16yrs old (when I left) because I *hated* tofu and beans, while everyone else loved it. There also weren't many fake meat alternatives then.
The hardest part for me was when I was 16 and studied abroad in Spain for the year. I had no control over what I ate (AFS specifically would not place vegetarians in Spain that year) so I became accustomed to eating more meat. Thankfully my host family only ate red meat 2x a week and always varied it. My biggest meat aversion has always been ground beef, I can't do it.
Now days, I don't eat much meat. Pregnancy took away any liking of chicken. I still do pepperoni pizza and bacon. DH eats whatever I cook, thankfully.
Is there any way your DH would stop eating meat? My H has a hard time getting enough food for his super-fast metabolism, but I just have to make sure he eats more of whatever we're eating, because I honestly don't know how to cook meat.
However you decide to do it, I think the most important part is that you teach her to be respectful. My grandparents have known my mom for 27 years and still can't figure out that she is vegetarian and cook meat when we visit. She doesn't correct them (what's the point? They're old), she just eats around the meat items.
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That is pretty much the point that I made in my post, although it may not have been clear enough. I also the vegetarian thing as being like religion. It's something you feel strongly about and want your children to feel the same way about. I also feel like your DH should feel the same way as you do on the matter. If he believes that your children should be raised as vegetarians, like you, then obviously that is what you guys are going to do. If he doesn't think that the children should be completely deprived of meat, then maybe they shouldn't be?
I can imagine it's difficult with two parents holding two different beliefs on a subject. Really I guess the best thing I can say is to try to be open minded yourselves about it.
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Sorry, I didn't mean to repeat your point, I see now that you were saying something similar!
Yes, luckily for me my DH is on the same page as I am in terms of what we want V's 'ideal' diet to be, so perhaps like the pp said even once she is making her own choices she will be so used to a certain diet anyway she just won't even prefer meat!
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