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A thanksgiving story for all that are just beginning to start over (long)
I have to take a minute to tell everyone who is just starting over that a year from now your life will be so incredibly different and BETTER than it currently feels.
Last Thanksgiving, I had just told my parents that XH and I were separated and that he had moved out when DS was a few weeks old. They had no idea and I was so ashamed by the thought of separation, divorce, and utter failure. XH took my less than 3 month old baby to his family for five nights because I didn't have the guts to stand up to him and tell him no. His intimidation controlled me and he got everything he wanted because I walked on eggshells out of fear of retailiation.
I vaguely remember Thanksgiving, very low key with my family and siblings because they insisted on coming to my house. I remember excusing myself from the meal to go sob alone in my bathroom because of how miserable I was, how much I missed DS, and how I just wanted to crawl into bed and be by myself until the nightmare was over.
Well, a year later, I can say that the nightmare is (mostly) over. I am SO much better off. Divorce finalized, full custody of DS, in control of my finances and career, out of the depths of misery, depression, and despair and into a state of happiness that I forgot existed.
I just had a fabulous holiday with my extended family, my DS was a little angel all day, and I can stand tall knowing that my abusive, alcoholic, mentally ill XH doesn't control me any longer.
To all you that are just starting the process - it will get better. ONWARD & UPWARD!
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Re: A thanksgiving story for all that are just beginning to start over (long)
Great post!
Last Thanksgiving I was feeling trapped and hopeless in a miserable marriage.
Now, although I still have my bad days where I feel sad, people tell me that I look happy. I have my own place, I am in charge of my finances, I am a few weeks out from having another degree, I will have a well paying job after the new year, and I am looking forward to starting to house hunt soon and purchase a house all on my own. My divorce has been final for awhile now and I am in a relationship with someone that appreciates me.
It gets better. I certainly have a lot to be thankful for this year.
I just want to butt in, I'm kind of in the midst of it... the holiday was way more emotional than I though it would be.
I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time ever as a soon-to-be-divorcee, in my house which is currently on the market.... Not where I expected to be at 28-years old, but here I am. My family was nothing but supportive and appreciative.
It was a fabulous meal and sooo great catching up with my family... but after they left, I cried for two hours.
And now, one of my closest friends from college is giving birth to her first son.
Sooo emotional, but so grateful for where I am.
Happy Thanksgiving
Great post and great progress!
Last Thanksgiving I was living in a foreign country with an addict. I dragged him to a Thanksgiving dinner with friends and he made me feel miserable and guilty because I was keeping him from using.
This Thanksgiving I'm in the US, living with family and divorced. I'm getting my life on track. Hopefully by next Thanksgiving I will be living on my own with a new job in furtherance of my career goals!
Very awesome post! I know everyone who is going through a separation/divorce will find encouragement from your story.
I have been there, and I can attest that it does get better - every day gets a little easier.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
This gives me hope. My thanksgiving was awful. Knowing that the family I loved and the man that I'm trying not to were just thirty minutes away and knowing I should be there..it was just too much. And it doesn't help that that was ALL anyone could talk about.
I really hope next year is different.
Shy & Zeus
A year ago, I was depressed, miserable and felt like I was completely insane because I thought he was cheating but couldn't prove it. I hated my job and wasn't the mom my kids needed me to be because of all of the above.
Now, I cannot even recognize the person that I was a year ago. I'm so much stronger, healthier (physically and mentally) and happier! The road to get here was hell, but I'm honestly glad it all happened the way it did because I am where I need to be in life and so appreciative of those in my life that have supported me through all of this!
Great post! Its great to hear stories like this. What a difference a year makes!!!
Thank you so much for your post. Yesterday at 2:30 I had to hand off my DS in a gas station parking lot to his dad and the OW. I was so pissed off that he brought her and it turned into a verbal battle and I left telling him "F You". Of couse the rest of the evening was spent in misery.
Good to know that next year (god willing) things will be much easier.
Last thanksgiving me and my husband had just separated and I didn't plan ahead for the holiday because I had to work that day. When I left work I went home and just sat there. It was the most depressing this ever and after I cried I vowed, never again.
This year I worked, but I also spent the holiday with friends and it was great.
I am divorced and at peace, unlike last year where I was still reeling from the break up.