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My dad said something really hurtful tonight
and now I am sad and just can't shake it. I don't know if I have just been overly emotional lately or what but on the drive home tonight I was sitting in the backseat and my dad and his gf were in the front. I just told them about me dating someone and this was the conversation:
His gf: Has he ever been married?
Me: No. He is just getting settled into living in one place (he played pro hockey and traveled a lot) so he didn't do much dating when he was younger
My dad: Well I'm not paying for another wedding so you will just have to figure that one out
I was speechless. I could feel my eyes filling with tears and I just wanted to crawl into a bawl and cry. The disappointment I already feel for getting a divorce overwhelms me sometimes and for it to get added to by my family that is supposed to be supportive of me.... just really hurt.
He proceeded to go on and tell me that it is my fault because I rushed into it and I wasn't even done with school and I was in such a hurry and blahty blah. Which is not true. I was with my XH for 2 years before we got engaged and I also already had a bachelors degree. Ugh. I am spending the rest of Thanksgiving laying in bed on the internet.
BNOTB Awards
Re: My dad said something really hurtful tonight
Wow I can't blame you for being upset on that one. That isn't being overly sensitive, that was a jerk thing to say. Hopefully that isn't a regular occurrence with your dad.
Bottom Line: Marriage doesn't always work. Even if you do everything right, follow everyone's advice, do your best and give it your all.
I don't see him all that often because I live 2 hours away but he makes digs about it every now and then. He doesn't think I tried hard enough. He thinks I just ran away from my problems. XH called him when we were separating and told him his side of the story and made me look like the bad guy and my dad took his side.
Also, I think it is a little hypocritical because HE is divorced.
THIS
Haha I love this. I might need a can of whoopass. No, I didn't say ANYTHING about getting married. Lol actually earlier in the night I had mentioned that I didn't know if I would ever be ready to get married again and the only reason I'd contemplate it was because I want kids. I'm going to go lay in the hot tub with a glass of wine and drown my sorrows.
Ditto this 100%!!! So sorry you had to deal w/ that.
This is a good plan. I'm sorry your dad was an ass. My ex called my mom when we split, but fortunately, she new he was a pathological liar and didn't believe a word of it. Don't let him get to you. Maybe he regrets his own life choices and is projecting on to you. Next time, just tell him your new BF is a billionaire and he is going to pay for the wedding on the one condition that your father not be invited
My mother literally said this exact same thing when I told my parents I was dating The Artist.
Literally.
I know your pain too well, Ninja.
This! Sorry your dad is a big poop!
Why is it that families do this from time to time? I'm sorry your dad made you feel this way, especially on Thanksgiving. ((hugs))