Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How long do you feel comfortable having out-of-town guests? Does it
matter who it is (friends, Mom, Dad, Uncle Joe, etc.)? Do you think
life status (single, young married couple with no kids, married with
kids) affects that for you? Have you ever had to set a "limit" either
before or during a visit?
TIA!
Re: Out-of-town guests
The time that I am okay with people staying is completely dependent on who they are and their life status. I think both of those things play a large role in how much the guest is going to irritate me. I have had people stay a month and had it be okay. I have also had people stay 1 night and wanted to lose my $hit. It just depends on the person.
Not only would it depend on the relationship, it would also depend on the housing situation. Right now we live in a 2 bedroom condo and one bedroom is a nursery, so there are no extra beds. If someone needed to crash on the couch for a night or two, no problem, but I wouldn't want a guest on our couch for more then that. However, this topic will be a big discussion between H and I when we're ready to buy a house because if we have an extra bedroom I could see my in-laws expecting to split their time between their house in India and our house, and there is no way I could have them stay with us for more then a week or so (and that's even pushing it).
I don't think you'll get a consensus on this - too much of it depends on how big your living space is, what your relationships are like, and how comfortable you are personally with sharing your space. If something would make you uncomfortable then speak up, and at least try to find a compromise.
It depends. Since we have a 1BR apartment there's not a lot of room. Next month my ILs are staying a night and we'll see how that works out. (They've never stayed before.) My parents have stayed a few times and it's a little awkward and cramped. We've had friends stay for multiple nights and it was a blast.
I think a part of the problem is I feel guilty not giving up my bed to my parents but at the same time I don't want to give up my bed.
As others have said, yes, who would be staying absolutely affects our desire to open our home. I've had people stay who were wonderful house guests and I'd have no problem opening our home to them, and I've had others who the idea of them staying w/ us again makes me cringe.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
We've had several houseguest situations lately and they were all fine. We had the daughter of a close family friend, along with her bestie, come along for four days. We had my father come and stay a week. Both times and both visits were fantastic, but keep in mind we have a guest "unit" in that not only does the guest have their own bedroom, they have their own bathroom too. All the people involved are fine with our cats having the run of the house, and knew to leave their doors closed unless they wanted to have "visitors", and it was fine. I can't think of anyone offhand that I wouldn't be okay with staying with us for a few days to a week or so (some for longer - my dad could stay as long as he wanted, but he'd never want to stay too long), but I think that's one of those situations that you identify when they happen.
I could never have my MIL stay with us. She's a smoker and I hate it/am allergic. And even though she never smokes in the house (even her house!), she still smells like it and it permeates the whole area, given enough time.
We don't have a guest room in our house, so a guest would have to stay on the couch in the living room. That would work for a night or weekend, but not for an extended period.
My Planning Bio
123
For us it depends on the person and the circumstance. My MIL comes over every few years from overseas, and it's typically a much longer visit than other out of town guests we host.