Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Can I skip the holidays?
So Thanksgiving wasn't so bad but Christmas already stings.
I just put together my fake tree and put the lights on so that when my daughter gets home from visitation, we can do ornaments together.
I've never had to do the tree alone like this. I used to wish that STBXH would stay out of it because he was in my way, but now that I've done it alone...I've never felt so lonely in my life.
Growing up, my dad worked hard to show us the giving spirits of the holidays...and I hate to admit I just don't have it this year. I just want to curl up in bed, pull the blankets over my head and cry right now.
I knew I should have bought a bottle of wine for this...
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Re: Can I skip the holidays?
It might have. I'm waiting for kiddo to wake now so we can decorate it...hoping she spreads her holiday cheer to me. It's just hard between the finances and all that this year. And the fact that my dad, who has done wonderful things in the past to spread holiday cheer, is not doing much of anything either. Guess I relied on him a bit...
I also know that it's the fact that it'll be a skimpy Christmas. My list has nothing "fun" on it, because I need to replace so many things that he is taking that are essential to daily life, so my list consists of pots and pans and dishes and such. I'm not a materialistic person, but it'd be nice if someone thinks to get me something for just me, that isn't a necessity, ya know? On the same hand, I'm beating myself up over that too...
I've had many skimpy Christmas-es. I found it become fun when you "own-it". Do the sad Charlie Brown tree, make paper ornaments, wrap presents in brown paper and tape on leaves/berries from outside as bows. Baked gifts are great too (brownies in a cute tin or a box with a personalized picture glued on the outside, etc)
and remember, each practical gift you buy yourself (pots-n-pans) is you taking control of your life and your future! that is the best present ever - you can't put a price tag on it.
Then to pamper yourself do a at home spa evening - mud mask, peel off mask, salt scrub (traders joes has a great on for $5) and give your self and mani/pedicure (sip some cheap bubbley-just add a teaspoon of sugar to make it especially delish, or some mint herbal tea) while you soak your tootsies and watch your favorite movie.
And remember: you are not alone. There are hundreds, probably thousands of women (include me) that are experiencing similar Christmases.
Thank you. I needed this.
I'm here with you. I am trying really, really hard to be good with myself, and last year I was on the verge of divorcing XH, dealing with the first anniversary of my grandmother's death, and basically just trying not to fall apart. This year I'm feeling a little sad. I am trying to be upbeat- I have 2 nephews, including a new baby, I'm officially divorced, have my own place and I have my dogs with me, but I was on the verge of tears when I realized I missed the tree lighting ceremony for my city.
I have decided to go back to before I was with XH and spend more time volunteering this year. I can't afford to do much in the way of presents, but I can work in a soup kitchen.
I love that you just said that...because I've been thinking this way too. There is definitely strength in numbers. This holiday season SUCKS so bad and my emotions are literally ALL OVER THE PLACE! In the morning I may be fine, but by the afternoon I'm completely sad and want to crawl under my desk and ball my eyes out. I'm trying to take one day at a time and remember my blessings and the good things and people in my life. Also I know that whatever I am going through right now, someone out there has it A LOT worse than me. Try your best to focus on any positives that you can. You'll get through this.. we all will! And we're here for you when you need to know that you're not alone.