Should we tell my sister?

kmjarvey · November 2011

My 90 year old grandma took a fall last week and fractured a vertebrae. She's in the hospital now and getting moved into a nursing home. My mom is trying to figure out if we should tell my sister who is in Ethiopia until December 17 on a year-long project. Is it worth us telling her now or should be just wait until she gets home?

Muddled · November 2011

Yes, tell her now. Do it on a phone call, not by email. She has a right to know.

Coming home from those things is hard enough without having to wonder what bad news your family has been hiding from you the whole time.

FinchleyLu · November 2011

Please let her know. My parents didn't tell me about significant events (my uncle dying, for instance) until months after the fact at times while I was away at college because they "didn't want to worry me." It's better to just tell her.

kmjarvey · November 2011

Muddled:

Yes, tell her now. Do it on a phone call, not by email. She has a right to know.

I don't think she's going to have access to a phone until right before she leaves - she's WAY out in the bush. It would have to be an e-mail if we did it now. Would you still just send an e-mail ASAP?

Sue_sue · November 2011

Yes. Tell your sister now. Skype, face time, whatever; but she should know a beloved (or not so beloved, who knows) family member is in serious trouble.

You will not be sorry, if, god forbid, your grandmother passes away, that you told your sister so she's prepared at least partly.

mbcdefg · November 2011

I would rather know, than be spared bad news in order to preserve my feelings. It may hurt her to deal with this now, but it'll hurt a million times more if she comes home thinking everything is O.K. and then gets hit with this news.

Sorry about your grandma.

Muddled · November 2011

kmjarvey:
Muddled:

Yes, tell her now. Do it on a phone call, not by email. She has a right to know.

I don't think she's going to have access to a phone until right before she leaves - she's WAY out in the bush. It would have to be an e-mail if we did it now. Would you still just send an e-mail ASAP?

I would try to skype or something, but if that wasn't possible, I would send an email. I wouldn't save any kind of important news to spring on her when she got home.

LilBlkDress1 · November 2011

I'd tell her but assure her that they're taking good care of her and that you'll keep her updated.

kmjarvey · November 2011

Thanks. I just e-mailed my mom back that she should tell her. I asked her what the phone issue is. Normally my sister just has a phone they can use to send short e-mails from her camp. I don't think the phone gets good recpetion unless they get to the nearest "city" which is like a 5 hour drive away. I know she can't even use facebook unless they got to the captial (which they have to fly to) so skype isn't really an option. She knows my grandma has been having a hard time getting around so it won't be a huge shock but still crappy to hear, especially from that far away.

trigal · November 2011

Yes, tell her. And, email is fine if that's the best you can do!

srgw · November 2011

Tell her. When I was a junior in college my sister called and told me our grandma had fallen and broken her hip. I wasn't able to get home for another month or so but was very appreciative they kept me in the loop. After you tell her, keep her in the loop as things change for better or worse.

Milsey32 · November 2011

She'll appreciate knowing - and be home soon to see your grandma. Best wishes to your family [:

juno · November 2011

FinchleyLu:
Please let her know. My parents didn't tell me about significant events (my uncle dying, for instance) until months after the fact at times while I was away at college because they "didn't want to worry me." It's better to just tell her.

Same here. My parents didn't tell me about my last great-grandparent dying because it was finals and they "didn't want to worry me." I had to deal with it all by myself instead of dealing with it with my family in real time and being able to participate in the mourning. I didn't appreciate it.

BCV513 · November 2011

Tell her! I found out my grandfather was dying when my eighth grade teacher took me aside and told me if I needed to leave class to have "alone time" I could just go. I had no idea what he was talking about, but apparently everyone else did. I found out my great-grandmother had died by reading my cousin's away message on IM in college. I still resent my parents for both. Please tell her.

kmjarvey · November 2011

Thanks for the reassurance. My mom did send her an e-mail yesterday after my grandma was moved into a nursing home. I think she's going to be fine. The bright side is she was able to get into the nursing home my dad works at so he'll see her all the time. Her biggest cornern now is that my parents' dog, who she watches every day, won't be ok. Luckily at the place she's getting moved to, dogs are allowed to visit Smile

Should we tell my sister?

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