Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Anyone else think "trashy!"
So I just saw on Fb last night that as part of my SILS' presents for Christmas,the IL's are getting them tattoos. So what you say? well.... The oldest is 20 and her current tat is a big a$$ red rose with her name emblazoned across the top of her boob. Who has their own name tattooed across their boob?! What she has trouble remembering what it is or is that for when some random guy is making out with her he doesn't have to worry about calling her by another girls name?
The middle SIL is17 and has a big old purple cross on her arm with her grandmother's initials. She is also the one that has a 1 year old with her best friend...they were just seeing what sex was like and only did it once...is the story.
The youngest SIL doesn't have one yet, this will be her first... to my knowledge. She is only 15 and plans on having her one friend design it This is the SIl that already has a lot of social issues. The other year, some little "princess" was using her as her "b!tch" to deal with people she didn't like because she lot SIL is a lesbian. She's not, just has a terrible image. She basically buzzd her hair and dresses in her dads cast off or stuff that's huge on her because, as she told me, she has no guidance or help as to what works or looks good on her so she takes the easy comfortable route. She also has a grooming problem as in not showering regularly or when she does, doesn't exactly get very clean.
MIL....well no one takes her seriously. She dresses in most clothes that are inappropriate either by size/fit or fit. Her first tat was less than 5 years ago...a metallic tramp stamp....she has a metal allergy! Her most recent one is of a bumble bee on one boob flying across to the other one for a pot of honey..
So...is it me or is this a trashy gift?
I don't have issues with tattoos. I've actually wanted one for years but have always been to chicken to get it. that said, I also think there is an appropriateness to be had. MIL has never been a parent. She's always tried to be a friend to her kids and it shows. They are all a train wreck except DS and that's probably because when he was growing up, he was raised more by the whole family and his Nan, than his parents... that's a whole other story. None of the SIL or MIL are taken seriously by anyone strangers or family Whether people like it or not, people judge on image. I hear all the time how one of them have had an issue and can't resolve it because the person they are talking to won't listen. MIL should be setting an example, well she is, but the wrong kind. Of course, this is also the woman that for years swore she didn't drink anymore, yet now spends many an evening at the local bar.
Yes, FIL is in the picture, but quite frankly, I think he checked out a long time ago. He doesn't seem to discipline or do anything. He apparently thinks it's perfectly fine for the 20 year old to just bum around the house, not look for work and just try to hook up. She doesn't even do stuff around the house!
So, this has turned into a vent. DH has already told me he doesn't want to hear anymore negative things about his family from me, even though he knows it's true. it just drives me nuts what losers his sisters are becoming and he won't say anything to his parents. Not that it would matter. His mom calls HIM to try to get his sisters to listen since they won't listen to her. Ummm...try calling your son just to chat for a change rather than when you want something! And if you had been a parent from the start, this wouldn't have happened!
OK, if you've made it through all this...WOW... I'll end it here,. there is so much more I could say, but that would take pages..... thanks for reading.
Re: Anyone else think "trashy!"
The face of Kitty-Hate
So, this has turned into a vent. DH has already told me he doesn't want to hear anymore negative things about his family from me, even though he knows it's true. it just drives me nuts what losers his sisters are becoming and he won't say anything to his parents.
Frankly his family really isn't any of your business unless it is directly affecting you so I agree you need to stop talking negatively about his family to him because it is probably making him feel like sh*t. Now is this a Christmas gift I would ever give my kids? Hell no but I am not one to judge. I also have 5 tattoos and want more so you can see where I stand. If she wants her name on her boob, then that is her choice. She will probably regret it later but that's for her to decide.
Um...wow! I don't think a tattoo is an appropriate gift for a 15 yr old and a 17 yr old. Once your 18, eh...I wouldn't give one as a gift but to each their own.
Sounds like that family is pretty screwed up. It's definitely frustrating to sit back and watch the train wreck and not be able to help. Unfortunately, not a lot you can do but vent about it.
"Trashy" is, in fact, one of about a half dozen adjectives that comes to mind for me at the thought of this - none of them positive.
It's my personal opinion that encouraging permanent alterations to the bodies of people that young is just flat out irresponsible. I suppose the 20 yr old can do as she chooses, regardless...but it isn't something I'd advocate.
I think I am a tattoo snob. I read the descriptions of those tats, and I think they sound trashy. But I think many tattoos can be amazing when designed well. For example, I think dana95293592475's new tat is freakin' awesome. I couldn't personally do it because I'm a complete pansy to pain, but it was designed and inked very well. I would love to see her rock a backless dress with it.
I agree with the others - the tattoos for the kids is not appropriate, particularly because they will probably pick something boneheaded that they will be stuck with forever. And thinking back to my college self, I don't think getting a tattoo in late teens/early 20's is advisable since your tastes can change dramatically as you mature. (case in point, my college roommates, who got tats of tweety bird and sylvester the cat) That being said...to each their own. Houstonkdw has a good point that it's really not anyone's business what they do with personal tattoos. If it floats their boat, then more power to them.
Of course, vent away here if you need to get something off your chest.
Click it if you can't say it!
Ditto sarasparks, especially regarding dana's tattoo.
I don't actually have a problem with the tattoo honoring the grandmother, depending on how tastefully it was done. But I think people should definitely wait until they are about 25 or so before they permanently affect their bodies with tattoos, ear stretching, etc. So I'd never give that as a gift to a teenager.
But if my adult >30 yr old kid is into tattoos and they are works of art (aka not sylvester or tweety bird) they are quite expensive and something where you get what you pay for, so I'd rather help pay for a better quality tat.
All of this coming from someone with no tattoos.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
OMG I needed this today!!!! Such a good laugh.
I LOVE a good boob tattoo! My favorites are when they are cartoon characters. Tweety Bird, Winnie the Pooh, and Taz are my favorites.
Sounds like your in-laws are real winners. Way to go on that one!
That made me snort.
I don't have any, probably won't ever, and can't see me ever gifting one but I find tattoos completely fascinating. And I'm not talking about those overdone Chinese symbols for peace/love/faith that are really the Chinese symbol for toaster/lint/herpes. But the really intricate ones or ones that cover entire arms/chests/etc.
doesn't sound like they're stellar parents, and i can see how it would upset your dh to always have you complaining about them. i'd probably judge them, but them having/getting (crappy) tattoos wouldn't really bother me - i don't see how that would affect my (your) life at all......but i do see how you probably need to come here and vent!
regarding tattoos in general - it's a personal choice. and as much as people say it's "art", i know that mine makes me look trashy and judged in some circumstances. which is why i have it in a place that can be covered. (and mucho thanks for the compliments sara and mb!)
This! Except I probably would have Ben Affleck's face.
My Sisters b/f got a wolf tattoo on his back so I asked him if he was team Jacob. He didn't think it was as funny as I did.
I do not have any, I do think some are so beautiful like Dana's and I have a friend with a beautiful hibiscus. It is so detailed it is like art.
if nothing positive will come of the conversation about his family, i don't really see what talking about the situations will do for you and DH. i'm giving this one a big "yeah, zip it" if he prefers not to hear it. it doesn't sound like he's hanging out cheering in support of any of these situations.
any tattoo artist who would tattoo a 15 year old is.. um... probably not a very reputable tattoo artist.
my photography blog