Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
New at this and a little confused
My husband and I just got married Friday, and we were both virgins until then. That night we decided to have sex, and I expected it to hurt since it was my first time, We took our time and I got aroused and all, and it did hurt, but not too bad. The next night however it hurt pretty bad. to the point that I wondered if something was wrong. I bled some (i didnt bleed the first time) and I almost felt raw inside. We had taken our time and I thought I was wet enough. We tried lube this last time, and it helped the pain some, but it still hurt a little. Is this normal until we get the hang of things? Am I just having to stretch out down there to accomodate him? And would my birth control (Loestrin 24) be causing some hormonal thing that makes me not wet enough? Thanks in advance!
Re: New at this and a little confused
I suggest yu and he go slowly --- lots of lube (try KY) and lots and lots of foreplay.
Speak to your doc about the possible hormonal thing. it may be possible to be dry from the BC; maybe he can switch you to something else that's a little more wet-friendly.:)
Ok, I get being virgins, but honestly... do you not know ANYTHING about how sex works?
This is normal.
The first few times can feel raw cause -obviously- you're vagina is getting used to the act/feeling of a penis thrusting in and out of it. So naturally, it has to get used to it some.
If you're having a hard time staying/getting wet, get some lube.
And like pp said, keep at it once the soreness goes away.
It will get better.
Yes... because most people on BC are trying to get pregnant. WTF?
Don't worry - it will get better! I got married in late October, and we are still having some issues getting into different positions and such, but it is sooo much better than it was when we first started. I was a virgin too and am still shocked to realize how much I just didn't know. I actually had a weird infection-like reaction to sex while we were on our honeymoon, and thought I had a yeast infection! But that got better -- I just learned to take things a little more slowly and not try to push through it so much when it hurts really bad. Now all the initial, outside pain is pretty much gone, and I just have trouble with certain things making me have to pee hahaha. But, like the other girl said, practice is fun and it can really help build your relationship as the two of you work together to figure out what works best for you. Don't feel like there's anything wrong with you or that you shouldn't have waited. And have fun!
It will get better if you're lucky. But it may not. Sometimes a guy's penis is just not compatible with your vagina and when that's the case it never gets better. I had the same problem with my first serious relationship. Sex always hurt. For the entire 1.5 years we were together it was painful. I could manage by only having sex every other day, but if we tried more often, especially multiple times a day it was excrutiating. At first, like you, I thought it was just because I was inexperienced and it would get better over time but it never did. And then that ended and I had sex with other guys and realized that with the well-endowed ones it was always painful, and with the not so well-endowed ones it wasn't.
So hopefully it will get better for you but if it doesn't it could be that your guy is just too big for you. If that's the case make sure you use a lot of lube, even if you think you're well aroused, lube makes it a lot better.
We were in the same spot. Don't worry to much about it. If you worry, it'll make the pain worse. I'm convinced the majority of my pain was all in my head.
A note though - I'm on the same pill as you are. I have the same issue with lubrication.
Yes this is normal. It still happens to me sometimes because I'm in a LDR and only see BF once a month or so. Even if you've used tampons, the thrusting is a different sensation and the skin in your vagina is sensitive. It may take a while for your body to get used to it.
Definitely use lube and lots of foreplay. I've tried a bunch of different lubes and really like KY Silk E right now because its super slippery (regular KY is really gloppy) and it has vitamin E and aloe which is soothing. If I'm in pain afterwards I sometimes put a little lube inside me to soothe the area.
Some people don't get sex talks in school or from their parents...I didn't...and I was a little confused as to why I was sore after the first time...
To the OP: Yes it's normal
"but baby if it's not rough it isn't fun"
I fell off my chair laughing!!
Becuase I was thinking the SAME THING!
Yes, this is normal. Make sure you use lots of lube and keep trying
GL.