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Help me grow a backbone

I've never had to quit a job other than the reason "My husband (military) has orders and we are moving out of state". I currently work as a full-time nanny making $5.80/hour for 3 children. Needless to say, the lack of pay is getting to me and I started looking for work the past couple of weeks. 

Today I was offered an incredible position getting paid triple what I make now, with benefits and all that jazz. And it is also a job that requires use of my degree...wooohoo! A first since I graduated in 2008! I would be stupid to turn this down.

Now, I have to give my notice (the family would prefer 30 days and the new job is willing to give me that, but ideally they would like me to start December 9...about 2 weeks). I am sick to my stomach over it. Being a nanny, you develop an extremely personal relationship with the family and to make matters worse, it is holiday season and the dad is deployed. I feel horrible. Any advice on how to gently drop the bomb? 

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Re: Help me grow a backbone

  • Just be professional. You're giving them as much notice as possible, and you found a job that you just couldn't pass up.

    This stuff happens. If you know anyone who could step in for you, I'd offer ASAP.

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  • imageDr.Loretta:

    Just be professional. You're giving them as much notice as possible, and you found a job that you just couldn't pass up.

    This stuff happens. If you know anyone who could step in for you, I'd offer ASAP.

    Ditto this, and I would agree about providing references if you have anyone that might be a good fit for the family.

    That said, at the rate that you are being paid (which would be low for our area), the family may not be as surprised as you think to lose you to a new job.  

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  • Two weeks notice is more than enough time to find a replacement...them wanting 30 days sounds more to me like your terminating a lease. You obviously have emotional ties to them and i am sure that is portrayed when you are there...so really just be heartfelt when you tell them. It is a lot better than you having to start asap leaving this family high and dry...the two weeks really is sufficient. There are plenty of qualified people out there that need jobs that will fill your shoes.

    You do have a degree and a job offer using it so it would be silly not to take it! Earning that degree is an investment and your opportunity to build on that is here. Plus like someone else said...the rate your getting paid, even for a nanny position, is pretty low. I am very loyal for whom ever or where ever i work as well so giving them notice or telling them your leaving is always hard. But you cant undermine yourself and your degree for the sake of not hurting their feelings. They will find some one else and life will go on.

  • The family is paying you below minimum wage to care for THREE kids. I wouldn't feel bad about leaving at all. I'd give a little more notice since it is the holiday make it hard to find a nanny but I wouldn't worry to much about it.
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  • imagehocus:
    The family is paying you below minimum wage to care for THREE kids. I wouldn't feel bad about leaving at all. I'd give a little more notice since it is the holiday make it hard to find a nanny but I wouldn't worry to much about it.

    I would provide them potential names, if you know of anyone, two weeks and look to join the your future company on Dec 9th as per their perference. You have way more emtional attachement to this family than they do to you! if they cared for your well being, then your pay for 3 would not be below min wage.

    Assuming you work 40 hrs/week, your pay is around 940 a month.  We pay 850/month for ONE child!! They will miss your bargin pay more than you, sorry to say...however, congrats on the wonderful job and best wishes!

  • Thank you everyone for your replies. You have eased my mind a bit. I told her this morning that I was offered a job in my field and needed to tell them on Monday if I could start December 9th or if I needed a full 30 days before starting. At first she said "Well, thank you for telling me, I understand wanting a job in your field" but 2 minutes later she burst into tears and told me that she can't believe she has to do this whole process over and that she thought I was devoted to her children and that it took them a year to find me and that if they can't find childcare then she has to quit her job.

    I was so overwhelmed I told her I was going to take the little one to the park for a while, I just had to get out. She is out running errands now but I am sick to my stomach for her to come back here.

    I have 10+ years of childcare experience and have worked years as a camp counselor and more recently as a nanny. I have never been paid less than $16/hour so needless to say this job has been hard. I work 47.5 hours/week and get paid $1100/month. Yup. I'm crazy. But I took it because they live the next street over (no commute), I was initially hired on a part-time basis (turned to full-time 2 weeks in), and I was really wanting to bring some extra money into our household. Luckily, my husbands job supports us completely, but I'm not the type of person who can just be a stay-at-home-anything. Anyway, this job has just become progressively more difficult...adding to my duties, one of the children recently diagnosed with ADHD, only 2 holidays off per year, no PTO. Ugh, everything. I am worth more than this.

    I offered over and over to help her find another nanny but she did not say anything. I'm just trying to tell myself that this part sucks now, but I have to watch out for myself, and I am SO excited to start my new job, so I'm just trying to focus on that. Thanks again ladies!

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  • imagecheetah*run:

    imagehocus:
    The family is paying you below minimum wage to care for THREE kids. I wouldn't feel bad about leaving at all. I'd give a little more notice since it is the holiday make it hard to find a nanny but I wouldn't worry to much about it.

    I would provide them potential names, if you know of anyone, two weeks and look to join the your future company on Dec 9th as per their perference. You have way more emtional attachement to this family than they do to you! if they cared for your well being, then your pay for 3 would not be below min wage.

    Assuming you work 40 hrs/week, your pay is around 940 a month.  We pay 850/month for ONE child!! They will miss your bargin pay more than you, sorry to say...however, congrats on the wonderful job and best wishes!

    Unfortunately, I think this is the case as well. I don't think there are as many people as crazy as me to accept a MORE than full-time job (although, like I said, it did not start that way) for $1100/month. And she knows damn well that's true. Ugh, can't wait for this day to be over...5 more hours of complete tension... 

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  • I nannied for a family 3 years ago and passed up a great job offer bc I felt guilty that I wasn't going to give them a month (might have been 6 weeks) notice!!!! It was to teach PT at community college, and could've opened doors for me. Guilt took over. 1 month later, they let me go for NO REASON and gave me no notice. Come to find out, their former nanny was on vacation time/honeymoon after her wedding for a month and they wanted to see how I would work out. The mom talked *** constantly about the former nanny and I found out through a friend's older sibling who lived in their nieghborhood. DO NOT let them make you feel guilty.
  • imagefl4lovers:
    I nannied for a family 3 years ago and passed up a great job offer bc I felt guilty that I wasn't going to give them a month (might have been 6 weeks) notice!!!! It was to teach PT at community college, and could've opened doors for me. Guilt took over. 1 month later, they let me go for NO REASON and gave me no notice. Come to find out, their former nanny was on vacation time/honeymoon after her wedding for a month and they wanted to see how I would work out. The mom talked *** constantly about the former nanny and I found out through a friend's older sibling who lived in their nieghborhood. DO NOT let them make you feel guilty.

    Ughh, that is TERRIBLE! I hope you are working a job you enjoy now. There is NO way I am missing this opportunity, I have already confirmed with my new job that I will start with them on January 6th (I would start sooner, but that's the date they gave me to start training) and gave this family my notice that I am DONE on December 23rd...giving myself a nice little Christmas vacation. =)

    Sh!t has pretty much hit the fan since I gave notice, they were horrible to me the day I told them, but I think over the long weekend they realized how rude and immature they were and I honestly think they're embarrassed, because they've been kissing my ass this week. I think it's a combo of embarrassment/maybe if we're nice to her she won't leave. But, whatever. My mind is already checked out of this job, I'm just waiting for the end... 

    PersonalMilestone Anniversary
  • imageESquared423:

    imagefl4lovers:
    I nannied for a family 3 years ago and passed up a great job offer bc I felt guilty that I wasn't going to give them a month (might have been 6 weeks) notice!!!! It was to teach PT at community college, and could've opened doors for me. Guilt took over. 1 month later, they let me go for NO REASON and gave me no notice. Come to find out, their former nanny was on vacation time/honeymoon after her wedding for a month and they wanted to see how I would work out. The mom talked *** constantly about the former nanny and I found out through a friend's older sibling who lived in their nieghborhood. DO NOT let them make you feel guilty.

    Ughh, that is TERRIBLE! I hope you are working a job you enjoy now. There is NO way I am missing this opportunity, I have already confirmed with my new job that I will start with them on January 6th (I would start sooner, but that's the date they gave me to start training) and gave this family my notice that I am DONE on December 23rd...giving myself a nice little Christmas vacation. =)

    Sh!t has pretty much hit the fan since I gave notice, they were horrible to me the day I told them, but I think over the long weekend they realized how rude and immature they were and I honestly think they're embarrassed, because they've been kissing my ass this week. I think it's a combo of embarrassment/maybe if we're nice to her she won't leave. But, whatever. My mind is already checked out of this job, I'm just waiting for the end... 

     

    GOOD FOR YOU for taking time off during Christmas before your new job!!!!! Yes, it was terrible of my former employers, so since then (this was 3 years ago) I have not stayed at a job if a better one comes along! I actually own my own biz now.

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