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Is it all Dads.....(funny story/vent)
....or just Jim that always do the 'fun' thing, and maybe not the smartest thing, with their kids?
On the one hand, it's nice to have a Dad that does things with you that mean old Mom won't let you do. Eat with your fingers, make a mess, whatever. I get that.
But two weeks ago Jim let Jane walk to the car after daycare via the lawn rather than the stairs (she loves the hill) but it was POURING rain. I bit my Mom-tongue and the next day the entire back of my car's leather seats were COVERED in mud (she is RF). I mentioned it nicely to him and he was like "oh gosh, I didn't even think, it was dark, etc).
LAST NIGHT, he goes to do it again. This time I actually say, "please don't, it's raining and muddy" and he's all "she loves it and she loves to carry the umbrella (as it's banging along on the ground....)". Then? she falls face first into mud. He gets to the car and he's all "wow, she's muddy". No shiit, Sherlock. I tell him to take off her shoes, blah blah. We just spent $100 to get this car detailed a week ago. We walk in the house and I see that her good shoes are COVERED in mud. I go "Dude, seriously, these are her good shoes...." and what does he say? "I know, that's why I always put her in her sneakers". I just about lost my shiit and was like "oh, really. She's muddly because I didn't put her in sneakers, not because YOU let her traipse through the mud...interesting...."
This morning? Her car seat, the back of the leather seat where she sits as well as the carpet where DH's feet were are covered in mud.
I kind of want to kill him. But, at the same time, I know he was just trying to be fun and play with her. ARGH.
Re: Is it all Dads.....(funny story/vent)
Well, of course it was all your fault for putting her in the wrong shoes to begin with.
I have this problem with MIL, not so much with H. She never tells Alex no, and will do whatever she asks her to do. Want to use real juice, sugar and food for a tea party? Sure! (which means I have to make sure her 3 tea sets are clean all the time, so I don't have dirty dishes in the toy bin). Want to run around the yard naked? Absolutely (we live on a busy corner lot without a fence).
Thing is, I don't feel like he's normally permissive or indulgent of her. I think we're both fairly strict. But it's dumb things like letting her "touch" Elmo on the TV......and now she can't have the TV on without being like "touch, touch, touch, touch....elmo, elmo, elmo....".
Maybe I'm just a stick in the mud!
Here, here. We must have the same MIL. Whatever Natalie wants, Natalie gets. Frustrates the piss out of me.
I don't have a kid but I think I can play b/c 'uncle' is the same way. I told him specifically that Spongebob was outlawed (by my sister) after my niece called the construction workers at my sister's house 'pieces of trash'.
What are they watching when we come home?? "Oh, I forgot".
No, he didn't. He just can't say no to a three year old.
Oh girls, you KNOW I have that MIL too. Conversation from Thanksgiving:
::J throws ping pong ball at the sliding glass door::
Me: J, no, no. We don't throw.
::J repeats, mocking me::
Me: J. Mommy said no throwing. If you throw again, you're going to have a timeout.
MIL: Oh, I don't care if she throws inside. It's OK, J.
I actually snapped at MIL and later apologized for snapping but asked her to please refrain adding her opinion if we've already told her no. The classic, we're the parents, blah blah. MIL didn't get it. At all. She's like, "but it' smy house and I don't care, she's just having fun". I was like, that's great and all, but completely not the point. She had to learn first that you don't throw inside, don't throw at people, it can hurt, etc. Later you can add nuance like ping-pong balls are probably OK but not drinking glasses. Now, it's just a "no". period. end of story.
Oh, the TV thing, H does do that part. I went out one night and he texts me that Alex is still awake and won't go to sleep. I get home about half an hour later and see he has a dance show on, some Shake It Up style thing. Anyway, he was so aggravated that she wouldn't go to sleep and just kept jumping up to dance around the living room. Um... maybe change the channel? When I suggested this, he said, but she liks this show.
I fear we will have this trouble with my in laws too. They e ncourage things (like throwing a soft ball) until something gets knocked over and broke and then it was a bad idea. I fear they may think I am crazy strict, but oh well. Also, DH's little 2/3 year old cousin drinks soda, because it isn't fair for us to drink it and not him...um okay?
I fear we will have this trouble with my in laws too. They e ncourage things (like throwing a soft ball) until something gets knocked over and broke and then it was a bad idea. I fear they may think I am crazy strict, but oh well. Also, DH's little 2/3 year old cousin drinks soda, because it isn't fair for us to drink it and not him...um okay?
MIL is the same way (Let's stand on the coffee table or jump up and down on the ROCKING recliner!) and I always have to the bad guy. I've talked to DH about it, and now he'll speak up...but only once I nudge him and make him aware I'm not happy with the situation. I just got sick of being the one to tell MIL to not allow certain things.
DH is usually pretty good about this stuff, but we have the same issues with his patents. Even for little things like Mads taking FILs glasses off his face & trying to play with them. After we told her no that glasses are not a toy he tried to give them back to her, telling her that it's okay, they're just a spare pair anyways. Grrrr..... You've already had your chance to parent, people! Try backing us up a little bit here.
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