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Would you FB friend your nanny?

Also, I asked her what her last employers got her for christmas gifts. I already had my mom sew her a quilt with owls on it (her fave!) bc she is always ooohing and ahhing over DS's quilts and has said if we get tired of one, she would like one of them.


But I was curious. I guess her last employers gave her a laptop. She said "BUT they were doctors, they had a lot of money!" to make me feel better LOL

We were thinking of just giving a cash bonus, but money is a little tight and I don't know about shelling out a week's pay extra, but whatever we need to do to keep her happy, we'll do... she got 1 paid week off last week, she still gets Fridays off, and she gets the last 2 weeks off in Dec, paid.

 

Re: Would you FB friend your nanny?

  • Yes. I would want to know if she was posting a) pictures of LO or b) locations (eg "At specific down town park with LO!" in her status.

    I don't know what to tell you on the gift thing... Probably a cash bonus would be best but I think the 2 paid weeks off is very generous already so I wouldn't feel bad about getting her a gift instead. 

  • imageLadyExtravaganza:

    Yes. I would want to know if she was posting a) pictures of LO or b) locations (eg "At specific down town park with LO!" in her status.

    I don't know what to tell you on the gift thing... Probably a cash bonus would be best but I think the 2 paid weeks off is very generous already so I wouldn't feel bad about getting her a gift instead. 

    I'm dying of curiosity. 

    I have seen her profile pic of her with DS but they are facing away from the camera at the aquarium. I'm okay with that. 

    Do I ask her about being FB friends? Or just randomly friend her?   I feel very socially awkward about this, but she is like a part of our family, she's met all of the grandparents, she practically lives in our house, KWIM?

     

  • imagePunkyBooster:

    Do I ask her about being FB friends? Or just randomly friend her?   I feel very socially awkward about this, but she is like a part of our family, she's met all of the grandparents, she practically lives in our house, KWIM? 

    I don't know what would be the least awkward way to go about it. I would think to just friend her so she isn't put on the spot if you ask her in person. But what do I know?

    I definitely agree that it's a different situation. It isn't like she's just some random employee. BUT, at the same time, she IS an employee.

    *sigh*

    I don't know.

  • Hmmm, that's awkward-- it puts a lot of pressure on her to accept you as a friend. I'd probably let her friend you if she's comfortable with it. 
  • You should email CDC and ask her what you should do!
  • Hmm, that's a tough one. I'm friends with coworkers at the dance school, but I would never be friends with people from my day job. I guess if she's like family, she'd be more inclined to accept your request.
    About the vacation time... Does she know about this already? Does she know it's a Christmas gift? I think the quilt & a small gift would be fine.
    PitaPata Dog tickers PitaPata Dog tickers BabyName Ticker
  • I agree with asking cdc, but my gut reaction is that I wouldn't do it.  Ultimately you are her employer and I would be uncomfortable with my employer friending me but would feel compelled to accept the invitation.
    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • I would really WANT to friend her, because I'm nosy like that. I agree that it might be uncomfortable. Just ask her. I wouldn't say "because I want to know what you're writing." lol

    I think the quilt is awesome. I would be touched if someone gave me that. Seriously, I think it's better than money.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I wouldn't send her a request. If I was her, I'd feel compelled to accept it, and then I'd be resentful and feel like maybe you were spying on me or something. If she sends you one, then sure, accept it. If one of my bosses sent me a friend request on FB, though, I'd probably decline. I like to keep my personal life and my professional life separate.

    And if part of the reason you want to friend is because you want to see what she's posting about your son, then I would have a conversation with her to clarify what you're ok/not ok with (if you haven't already).  And then you just have to trust her enough to believe she wouldn't violate that trust.

    And I agree with BCV- the quilt is a really lovely present. 

  • Oh, I didn't reply to the gift part of the post at all.  I think the quilt is awesome and it sounds like she'll LOVE it.  I don't know what's standard for gifting to nannies so I won't comment on the rest.  There's a MM thread going on this topic, but you've probably already seen it.
    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
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