Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
So -
Would it be different if I commuted but stayed in the house a few times a week if H wasn't going to be here?
His commute is 1-1/2 hour right now, and he just let me know that he's moving to his apartment closer to work this weekend so I'll have the house to myself.
Re: So -
All of sudden he is going to stay in his apartment??
Sounds like more manipulation to me...he'll just happen to be there when you happen to be there as well. It still isnt moving on or private imo.
What is this crap about him having another apartment?
Yeah, this him having his own apartment thing is brand new to me. When did this happen and how long has he had it? That is bizarre.
I really don't understand what is so fvcking hard about moving in with your parents and commuting to your job, Tao? You want to move out, file and get on with your life.
All this, "is it alright if I split a hair here or do something that doesn't involve completely closing this chapter of my life down." thing is just irritating. Move on with your life or don't, but you've gotten our answers here and it makes no sense to keep asking us if something is ok if it doesn't involve getting your own space. You want to be free of this man, right?
If what you truly want is to get on with your life then staying the house that the two of you shared is not part of the plan. I am betting he will just happen by when you are staying at the house. FFS, please realize that you need to do something major and get out of the house, relationship-- you name it period.
He works 1-1/2 hours from where our house is. He just got that job in September and just now got an apartment. He's moving into it this weekend.
He's going to be living in that apartment M-F for sure if not on the weekends too. What I'm saying is - until I get another job around home - commute from home - but stay in that house a few nights a week to save money on gas. He's not going to be there when I'm there. I know that for a fact. He'll be around 2-hours away at an apartment. Actually he'll be at work - because I'd just be sleeping there during the day since I work third shift. And btw - this guy is cheap and there's no way he's going to spend money on rent and come back to a house where a wife is there that he doesn't want. Plus - he's going to be trying to sell that house.
I know I'm not moving on by being at that place, but truthfully I won't be fully moving on until I get a job back home. I have NOTHING keeping me in the city. I guess I wasn't asking if it was okay - more is it unhealthy for me to be there even when he's not. But I already know the answer to that - I didn't really see it as a big deal except for the fact that I'll be staying in this house with all the memories attached to it. Anymore - I just question EVERYTHING and feel like I can't even think straight or trust my own judgements - that's why I keep annoyingly running it by you guys. You don't sugar coat it and you call me out on things about what I'm doing even when I'm not realizing it myself.
Seriously, I'm really working on finding a job as the one I have isn't cutting it at all. I HATE being at work and anymore - it's like I'm showing up and doing the bare minimum. Like I said - I have no reason to be in this city whatsoever. I have no friends - just acquaintances that I work with. My family is back home.