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So I Am Reading "The Sociopath Next Door"
Wow is that book ever enlightening. I keep getting chills up and down my spine from all of the different stories the author tells of sociopaths.
I think the most enlightening thing I have read (so far) is how to possibly tell if someone possesses this trait. It's the sympathy card, or the pity tactic. They try to evoke sympathy out of other people for usually crazy reasons, or at least ones that don't make sense.
XH is so this person. He's tried to make me feel guilty about the amount of back child support that he owes because HE chose not to pay it. All the while he's driving a brand new $60K truck, building a new home, and generally living the high life. The amount he pays in CS each month is modest but he told me the other night "I'm giving you everything I have for CS each month" with a sad little look on his face.
Thank you to whoever recommended this book!
Re: So I Am Reading "The Sociopath Next Door"
You're welcome! I recommended it... my therapist suggested I read because D's ExWife seems to have some of these traits.
I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I'm glad you're finding it insightful.
Apparently after I met the girls at dinner a few weeks ago, she grilled them and asked if I was prettier than her and if they liked me more than her? Seriously? WTF?
My dad was a sociopath (I think they call it anti-social personality disorder). No empathy, remorse, shame, or guilt for anyone, anything, anytime. Fortunately, he didn't cross that line and physically harm people like you often hear in the news.
But I learned early if you meet one to run, far, far, far way. (or at least minimize contact)
Sorry you are still experiencing one. The manipulation and lying they are capable of is insane. Be strong, and now you know who (or should I say "what") you are dealing with: stand firm. It always helped me to think that I am talking to a person who thinks like a reptile/lizard (just out for themselves without the capacity to form any emotional bonds)
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I am adding this to my reading list right now.
Everything you described in your post is XH word.for.word.
I found this website a while back. It was what made me realize XH was a textbook sociopath and began my journey of removing myself from his reality and truly seeing things for what they really were.
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
Thank you again!
Not that you want to have to be reading up on people such as this, but knowledge is power. Unfortunately I will have to deal with XH because we have a child together, but it is definitely giving me insight as to how he ticks.