May 2008 Weddings
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awkward conversation (TMI)

H and I have been having a lot of sexual problems since we got married. Without going into much detail, sex hurts. Which makes me not very interested in it. And makes H afraid to be intimate and being "rejected". We try maybe once a month. We don't even make out because he knows it won't go anywhere.

We tried last night and it was a complete fail. I cried most of the night because it feels like something is missing in our relationship and I'm letting him down. I decided I need to speak with a doctor about it. Because I'm so busy, H called a women's clinic for me. He said it was really embarrassing to try to explain what was going on. The receptionist told him it was the first time a man has called to make an appointment.

The things my poor husband does for me...

Re: awkward conversation (TMI)

  • Oh no..... I have known some people who have struggled with this too. You may need some therapy (physical) to help with this. I hope you're open to doing what you need to. Good luck. Sounds like it will be a journey - hope it works out. Gl.
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  • Aw, I'm sorry.  That does sound really sucky.  Hopefully the people at the clinic will have some ideas.

    And kudos to your H for being willing to make that call.  Don't think many husbands would be willing to do that.  But I suppose if the matter was pressing enough they would. 

  • sorry you are going through this. i know blonde dealt with something similar and was diagnosed with vulvodynia. she is feeling better now i think but it was rough. i think going to the doctor is a great idea and just think of it as one step closer to having the problem resolved. good luck.
    Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
  • That sounds terrible klassy, I hope you guys can figure out what's going on. It's definitely an important part of a relationship and I can see why it would be so hard on you both.
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  • I really hope the clinic can find out what's going on. That's really sweet of your H to call though. Let us know how your appointment goes!
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  • oh hun I hope they figure it out and it's an easy solution...like MD said it could be what Blonde went through and it may take some therapy like Smoozer said physically you doing things and even learning some relaxing methods to help you out.

    Just because you can't do the actual deed doesn't mean that y'all can't make out and lead to other fun things :P haha

    But I can understand how frustrating it is...with both of my pregnancies it has been something I almost detest and poor H...right now I can't do it anyway per doctors orders...I'm sure he'll be happy on Monday if/when my doc says we can

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  • Yes... I went through something very similar... see if you can find a specialist in your area that specializes in vulvodynia... my obgyn didn't know anything and actually made my problem worse and I was put through way more pain for far more months than I should have.  If you have ANY questions you can email me at blonde407@aol.com.

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  • oh, i'm so sorry, that sounds terrible! so sweet of your h to call though.
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  • Oh sweetie! I hope everything works out for the better. Are you having any emotional stress (aside from this)? I know someone who went through this, and it wasn't anything physical causing the problem, but seeing someone to talk to and taking up meditation helped her tremendously. I'm NOT saying you shouldn't go to a doctor and a specialist, but rather offering advice if the issue stems from something else.

    And your husband is a sweetheart. It must have been extremely uncomfortable.

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