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Depressed Rant
Never posted here much, but just feel I need to get this off my chest:
I feel like I've made a stupid decision with my life and have been really bummed about it lately. Went to college to get a degree in science, did well and had very little debt but slim job prospects, so I went straight to grad school and got a masters degree in a health profession that put me $160,000 in debt. Got job right out of school paying $80,000 a year. Also got married to a good man who is in a PhD program, bringing in about $20,000 though he won't graduate for at least another 3-4 years. We also bought a house for $140,000.
The issue is, after 7 frigging years of school I don't like the work I'm doing - I'm in primary care and most of my day is spent with too little time trying to help people that I can't help. I feel useless and drained most of the time, and I always feel like an idiot. I'll have to keep working for at least another 10 years just to pay off my debts. I really want to start a family, but realistically we can't afford it until my husband gets a job - no way we could live off his student salary, even without my loans just the mortgage takes up all his monthly paycheck. So that means we can't start a family until we're 29 or thirty. And thenI got to work and see 19 year old girls that snorted painkillers, smoked cigarettes, did pot, and drank throughout their pregnancies and the state pays for their housing, food, childcare, and health insurance.
In short, being a responsible adult really sucks sometimes.
Re: Depressed Rant
1) I am sorry that you are going through this tough time with regards
To your job. However, in this economy having a job (even a job you hate) is a leg up towards eliminating that debt. Try to remember that if you can.
2) 29 is not a bad age to start a family. We just had our first at 28. Look at it this way: by the time you are ready you will have eliminated a lot of your debt & have a nice nest egg to start your family off in a good way.
3) what is it about your job specifically that you hate? Why do you always feel like an idiot? I would think that your years of schooling would have adequately prepared you & you would not be able to keep said job if you weren't proficient at what you do. Can you elaborate?
4) there are plenty of ways you could use your expertise in a way that you might enjoy? Are you job hunting or do you want to switch fields entirely?
I understand you are bummed right now & just venting but I thought I would offer you some thoughts. I hope you find another opportunity that is more fulfilling for you soon.
**{I apologize for any spelling or formatting issues. I am nesting from my IPhone.}*
Amen sister.
It's always hard when you think you'll be able to make a difference and you feel like you aren't or that you can't. It seems like you care a lot about what you do, or you wouldn't be so frustrated about the fact that you're not helping enough. Some people would be content, to just put forth a minimal amount of effort and collect 80K a year. But if you're really dissatisfied, I imagine that you could still find other ways to use your degree. Have you ever thought of teaching? I know that a master's is enough to teach at some colleges.
Is there any way you could refinance your loans so you can pay less each month but for a longer period? As I understand, although you may want to double check with someone who knows more, that as long as you make your payments on time, having student loans don't negatively affect your credit score.
Really the only thing that I question here is why a 140k house, but I don't know your area, so that may not be as expensive as it seems from my perspective. Could you sell the house and find somewhere a little cheaper to live perhaps? Or perhaps find a way to divide the house so as to take on a tenant?
GL and Hugs
Glad to hear you're feeling better, and good lord, 29 is not too old for babies! (About to have my first and I'm about to turn 34.)
I am curious though, how on earth did a Masters degree land you $160000 in debt?!?
Being responsible sucks sometimes. Its frustrating to think that you made all the "right" choices and the ones who make all the "wrong" choices are getting everything that you want (well, they are able to live life without thinking of the disadvantages anyway).
Good Luck, and keep on the right track. You'll be better off for it in the future!
Private three year Physician Assistant Master's Program in an out-of-state school. No in-state schools, so that wasn't an option, and scholarships for anything medical are pretty hard to find unless you commit yourself to the military, sign up to work in an impoverished area that you have no choice about, are REALLY frigging smart, or go to one of the schools that has professors on the national scholarship committee boards. And the worse part is I could have gone to a two year university and gotten the same education for 2/3rds of the price, and gotten the same education, I just didn't realize it. *sigh* hindsight is 20/20.