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The Army and my health
I have a question that I have never run into before. A week ago, I went into pre-term labor twice and thankfully, the hospital was able to stop it. I was put on modified bed rest. Staying on bed rest is difficult considering I have two kids, no family here and no friends to help. Dh's command is aware of all of this as he took in my paperwork, but they basically think I should handle it on my own. No time off for dh.
Monday I see my OB and I may be put on strict bed rest. In fact, the hospital told me to prepare for it. Dh heads to the field for a week on Monday. I'm not sure what to do. I know I can't make the Army give him time off, but I don't know how I am going to do this. The FRG is non-existant and even then, it's not up to complete strangers to take care of me and my children. It's my husband's job. Has anyone been in this position before? Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions as to what I can do? I am very worried and dh's command could care less.
Re: The Army and my health
Oh man, that's rough. I hope your baby stays in for as long as possible.
Have you thought about hiring a person to help you with your kids and some chores around the house? How old are your children?
Id still pursue the FRG. There might be a willing person to do those things for little to no money at all.
I have similar concerns that something may not go smoothly with my pregnancy while my husband is overseas, and I'm AD, so it's not as if though I can head "home" if I need help. My plan as of now is to hire someone to help clean my house, hire someone to walk my dogs so they get some exercise, and let everything else go. I have no idea what I'd do with other kids. Do you have a friend or relative who could come stay with you, or even multiple people that could help for a week here or a week there?
I think your best bet is to get a family member out to see you as soon as possible or consider going to stay with relatives or friends until you're closer to delivery.
Does anyone know if TriCare will provide a home health worker if needed?
Are you children school aged? Are there any after school programs they can attend? Could you work out an arrangement with their friends parents for a few hours of assistance after school? If they're not school aged can you look into a Mother's Day Out program? What about daycare provided on post?
There's no way in the world the Army is going to allow your husband 16 weeks of reduced work or preferential treatment when it comes to his job. They have a huge operation to run.
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If you are put on strict bed rest and truly have no family around to help, you can call the American Red Cross and explain the situation. They will look into your situation, and verify all the facts (including calling your doctor) to determine whether or not your H should be sent home to help. It would be your own expense to get him home, and he would likely need enough leave time on the books, but it's possible that they would send/keep him home.
However the AmCross recommendations are only that, and the command can deny the request if they don't have anyone else to do his job and can't afford to lose him, or if he doesn't have enough leave on the books.
Try contacting your Chapel
I went into preterm labor several times with my last baby and was put on strict bed rest from 21 weeks to 36 weeks. I had three other kids to take care of and my husband had to go TDY twice durring that time. It wasn't easy but we worked it out. Our FRG was a huge help. They send meals three times a week and friends would come to help me clean. I also have family nearby so that helped.
If your family can't take turns helping you and you have no FRG, I would contact the Chaplain's office to see if there is something they can help you with. Do y'all go to church? Contact your pastor and see if there may be a few people at the church who can help you take care of the kids and the house. It's ok to let a few things go. Just take care of the important things.
Thank you everyone for your input. The only family member who can come help is my father and the soonest he can come is the 20th. ( I have a VERY tiny family) He will be able to stay for 3 weeks thankfully.
We can't afford to hire someone to help, but I am going to see if TriCare covers CNA's. My dh's unit just plain sucks when it comes to anything doing with the families, so the FRG is not there. I am thinking of contacting the FRSA for the post as well as the chaplain.
I am hoping my appointment tomorrow goes well. I just want to be prepared. Thanks again!
Dh did bring it in to his chain of command and they could honestly care less. He still has to go to the field. I didn't even think of the EFMP program. Thank you!
I went to my OB this morning and I am still on bed rest, but not strict bed rest. It looks like this will be the way it is until I am 37 weeks.