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Random WWYD-Re: Family Tree Photos
So at one of my showers a friend gave me a nice family tree photo frame. Between DH and I the only living grandparents we have (baby's Great-Grandparents) are DH's Grandmother and Grandfather (and Step Grandmother if you want to count her). I want to put them, but I'm stuck on whether I want to put all of our deceased grandparents as well, in there. Would it be weird to have them/not have them? DH says we shouldn't "cut off the top of the tree just because they passed away". However, I'm thinking it might be confusing for a baby/toddler to see pictures of people he's never met mixed in with his immediate family who he will know well. I'm not sure we'll want to explain death to a child that young. I'm thinking that when he's older I'll make more of a comprehensive family tree/history book anyways...... What would you ladies do in the meantime about the frame though?
(And yes, DH has already pointed out that I'm WAY over thinking this. LOL)
Re: Random WWYD-Re: Family Tree Photos
I don't know if it helps, but I grew up with AWESOME tales of my predeceased great-grandparents, great-great grandparents, other relatives. We were surrounded by photos of them always, from my earliest memories.
I never thought it odd or thought about death-- it was where I came from and because the people in the photos (many sepia, black & white, or daguerreotype) were clearly from another era. As I got old enough to recognize that, I saw them as I would see people in photos of a history text book or a book from an earlier time period.
I feel it was a huge part of setting the foundations for understanding the importance of family-- by honouring our past, we knew where we came from and where we were going. I also learned to be proud of things like "having my Grandpa Amos's work ethic" or "having Ma's ability to cook from scratch."
Whatever you do, it's not permanent-- you can always choose to add photos or take them away...
I totally agree! Well put!
I also don't think it's a big deal to have deceased family's pictures around. Death is a part of life, so it's no biggie to accept it and not hide it.
It's a little different, but we lost our cat this summer, and James was certainly old enough (just 2 at the time) to notice his absence. We flat out told him "Tyson died and he won't be here any more. It's ok to be sad and miss him, and we can still talk about him and love him." And that was that- we didn't get more into it and James still occasionally mentions that Tyson died (4 months later)- but he's not preoccupied about it.
If anything, I think having the pictures out not only honors your past, but also provides a good conversation starter, just like MA pointed out.
I also completely agree.
I always wonder how other people deal with this. I grew up in a family that was very open about death and I don't remember it being confusing to see pictures or hear stories from my parents about my grandparents or uncles who had passed. I think including the pictures is harmless if you're willing to answer questions about them later.
DS will grow up seeing pictures of his Grampa and we talk about him a lot, so I'm hoping he has an easy time understanding this whole life & death thing. We also spend time at the cemetary visiting FIL and going for walks so I'm anticipating that along with the excitement of watching him take some of his first steps there and learning to ride a bike/drive a car that we will eventualy have to explain the whole "Grampa in the ground/Grampa in Heaven" questions. This parenting thing is so tricky.