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Some closure this weekend...
I had to call XH over some mail that he sent and we had a long conversation. I was so proud that I was neither angry nor emotional while talking to him. We discussed a lot of things about our relationship and I realized that we had terrible communication skills from the beginning of our relationship.
I talked to him about some issues that I should have brought up while we were dating and was surprised at his answers. I can't believe I married someone who I was so noncommunicative with. I realize how incompatible we were with respect to not only our lifestyles but also sexually. (ex. after bringing something about our sex life up, he said, "Well, that's really not something I like to do..." --I couldn't believe how this wasn't discussed while we were dating and how I never realized we really weren't compatible!)
Of course he tried to get some manipulation in, which I ignored and changed the subject. It feels good, like I got some closure. Talking to him was like therapy for me. I was finally able to respond to his, "I thought we were happy" with "No XH, I was very unhappy". I went to sleep content, with a whole host of revelations to discuss at therapy this week 
ETA: And I just got an email from DILF telling me "I think of you often. I hope you are well." Maybe there was some anti douchebag serum on sale at Target this week...
Re: Some closure this weekend...
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I like this a lot! Just leave it at that though, meaning don't try to bring anything up with him again because I'm sure this is as good as it will get with him. I am not saying this to be judgey just more a "been there done that scenario". Don't let him take the good feeling you have now away from you by pulling all of his BS again.
And also love the DILF email, great sign!
Thanks for this comment. I completely agree. I'm not opening doors of communication with him. I saw that he was trying to finagle his way in with manipulation, "I still think you're my soulmate" and I know it won't be this good again. I'll be so happy once we get our "Jewish" divorce and I won't need to talk to him again. I feel like the anger has subsided and that I really did just marry the wrong person.