International Nesties
dulcemariamar1
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Stolen from PCE: Should you stay at the same weight as when you got married?
"Do you owe it to your spouse, barring illness or injury, to stay roughly the same weight as when you married?"
Re: Stolen from PCE: Should you stay at the same weight as when you got married?
No.
I would hope that my DH would never demand that of me. I would never demand it of myself. I hope that my DH loves ME, not a number on a scale. And after fighting nasty women making rude comments about my plus-size figure for me, I know he means it when he says he loves me, not the packaging.
I think it would be impossible to expect your partner to weigh what they did when you got married especially with your metabolism chaning over the years.
However, I dont think it is horrible to expect your partner to take care of themselves. I dont think the number matter but I think that overall the partner should try to make some effort with their appearance. In addition, I would be more worried about their health if they did gain a lot of weight.
This. Plus, I think it would be pretty unreasonable to expect all women who had had children to go back to their pre-pregnancy weight every time.
Hmmm, that sort of works for me, I was at my heaviest I think ever (except for pregnancy) which upsets me now but when I am stressed I tend to put on weight instead of loose it
But I think it is silly to expect to stay the same, stay healthy absolutely.
XH would agree with this. He told me his biggest fear was that we would get married and I'd "let myself go". 10lbs on me later, his biggest fear was realized and he flipped. Reason 2,638 that I'm happily single now.
Healthy is one things, monitoring the scale is another. Strongly disagree with expecting that from your spouse.
DH and I both put on weight since marriage (I put on around 35 pounds). We both still found each other attractive, but we wanted to lose to weight for ourselves, and for each other (in the health benefits type of way...I want him around for a good long time). We promised each other to get healthy and work hard to stay that way.
We still loved each other when we were heavier, but it did prevent us from doing some of the things we enjoyed. And now, we feel so much better, physically AND emotionally, even though we still have a ways to go with the weight loss/getting healthy.
I was at my thinnest when we met and one of my heaviest weights when we married. I'm 40lbs down from my marriage weight now and looking to lose more, although failing miserably right now. Possibly the cupcake I just ate for lunch isn't going to help
Anyway, DH loves me and loved me through all of that and his only concern, ever, was my health. He wants me to be more active, not be thinner so he is thrilled that I'm getting back into my jogging, etc. I'm never going to be thin, but I can be active and healthy and that's all that's important to either of us!
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
This. It's possible that with the passing of years, no amount of yoga or biking to work every day will keep me and DH at the same weight we are now, but I really hope we feel as fit and good about ourselves in 10 or 20 or more years. I can tell the difference almost immediately if I skip physical activity- both in my attitude and in my overall health. I think I owe it not just to DH but to myself and to my daughter to be healthy.
It actually upsets me to no end that at their ages (70s), my dad is super active and has to slow down to accomodate my mother, who has never taken very good care of herself and now suffers from a bunch of physical ailments. I do not want to be in a situation like that when DH and I are older.
My and DH's health are my #1 concern, not a number on a scale. I try to stick to a healthy weight and DH is definitely a yo-yo'er but has stuck to a good weight in the past couple years.
If I feel good about my body that is a good place for me.
My Israel Blog!
I hope not. Insert guilty look-- what, I moved to the land of carbs and work an insane schedule.
Seriously, though, I have gained too much weight over the past couple years. Definitely something I should/will work on (independent of what H thinks). So I guess I don't feel I 'owe' it to H, but I would like to be healthier, which, at present, would include dropping some lbs.
Although it's not Friday, I think it's time for a little FFC from me. I'm weak, so very very weak. I can't lose weight by myself, I need someone there to basically hold my hand through it. I know it's pretty pathetic and it shouldn't be that way, but there it is. FI and I plan on an entire lifestyle change when I move there that includes cutting out some of our worst eating habits.
So hopefully I won't be the same weight as when I get marrried.
Rambley Blog
Owe it to my spouse and to my spouse alone to maintain myself within a certain weight range? Nope. I do think I owe it to myself, my spouse, my kids, and potential grandkids to be healthy.
I was my heaviest when I got married. So maybe I should have stayed the same weight, since 10 lbs lighter, I'm getting a divorce.
I agree with all the sentiments that rather than maintaining a weight, you should try to maintain a similarly healthy lifestyle. But anything should be up for discussion if you want to make a change.
And this post is underscoring my issues with how much my waistline has increased as a result of this trip and the 3-week work trip I did two weeks before it. Not enough time for the gym, unhealthy food, and too much food in general. Blech. Yet I still feel bad passing up the free chance to pig out on stuff I couldn't afford at home.