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Anyone on an opposite shift from their spouse?
I did a thread search and this has been covered in the past on more general boards, but I thought I'd throw it up here and see what sticks:
I'm 9-to-5 with some flexibility, he's 4-midnight. It has been like that since we met, so this isn't exactly something that we're just now tackling, but it is starting to show some strain. He has enough seniority that he could go to days (8-4), which he is tossing around doing and is super nice in theory, but here's the catch: we both know he'll hate it. He has laid out the "it's just a job, I'm prioritizing our personal life" argument but I don't want him to be miserable at work; I'd like us to explore some ways of maximizing our connection time a little better before we go that route. Any advice from the been-there-done-that crowd?
Re: Anyone on an opposite shift from their spouse?
He doesn't by chance work in financial print does he? LOL
For me personally, the two different shifts doesn't work well. I did that in my previous life (I was 4-12, XH was 7-3). Of course part of it was that I HATED being on that shift, so that's a big factor if he likes it better. Why would he be miserable on the day shift? I think that's a big part of the decision, if he can get past that.
Ha! Nope, police officer
The misery comes from the mindset of the majority of day shifters. H takes his job pretty seriously, and gets frustrated with a high prevalence of "coasting" mindset on days that sort of has a neutralizing effect (without airing laundry, there are a number of entrenched factors that contribute to this).
I was afraid of this. It makes me nervous about the eventuality of adding kids to our household too. <<sigh>>
My husband and I are on opposite shifts I?m day and he?s after noon. This only switched over 2 years ago. I think we make it work. He has a weird off day schedule where it rotates what days he?s off, instead of being off every Saturday Sunday (like me). So when he has a weekend off we always plan something fun. Not saying I don?t wish he was on days with me, but he doesn?t have the option to bump into days right now. Just have to work with the hand your dealt.
I was afraid of this. It makes me nervous about the eventuality of adding kids to our household too. <<sigh>>
I?ve also thought about this, but if were on different schedules I think we?re going to save a boat load on daycare/nanny costs, just going to be difficult because you won?t be able to experience the ?firsts? together.
DH and I are sorta on opposite schedules. He works 4 AM- 1 PM and my schedule is always changing. He has Sunday and Monday off always and mine are all over the place.
Like PPs said you would save a bunch in daycare when you have kids.
I also kinda like having some time to myself when DH is at work.
That all makes sense. I do know people that I work with who are on 2nd shift and like it. Like some pps said, it's great with daycare costs, etc, and allows both parents lots of time with the kiddos. It just depends on what is best for you and your hubby!
My H works evenings and I work days - it's been like this for about 2 years and while he's told the bosses he'd prefer days, here we are. One day it will change....I hope lol.
Before kiddo arrived I actually really grew to like it. I could watch whatever I wanted on TV, cook anything I felt like eating for dinner, go out with my friends, etc. It was nice to have some alone time to unwind.
Now after having the LO it makes the schedule more challenging but we just deal with it. After work it's just me taking care of the baby, so during the day when H is home alone he does a majority of the housework. It balances out well for us.
I think it's worse for him than me, he doesn't really get to see our son much during the week but we make up for it by spending lots of time together on the weekends. And he doesn't work Fridays which is nice since he gets to spend a lot of one-on-one time with LO then.
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