Starting Over
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
S/O...when will your "shop" close?
A previous post got me thinking. Do you have an age by which you want to be done having kids?
I was thinking about it, and I think I may be done right now. Not that I don't want more kids, but I just turned 33 and there are NO men on the horizon. If I were to meet someone, date, get engaged, and later married, I don't know if I'd want to have kids that late in life.
I'm saying absolutely no more kids after 40, and that's even later in life than I'd want to have kids.
Re: S/O...when will your "shop" close?
It depends I guess. I could feasibly see myself having kids until about 40, but who knows, someone women have children much later, even though the risks do go up.
Even though there aren't any men on my horizon right now, I would say it's reasonable to assume that someone will come along within the next 10 years or so (I'm 29). I would like to have more children (at least one) so DS can have a sibling. But I also feel like if it doesn't happen I am very blessed to at least have DS because he's pretty much the coolest kid ever!
I do not want to to really set a closing date. I will use the word "prefer"
I would prefer to be done by age 35.
I would prefer to have 1 more child. If I have to do it on my own it would be about 5 years away.
I would prefer to be married before #2, but it is not a requirement.
I'm 36 and its closed!!
What a feel good post...
Considering I thought I'd at least be pregnant by now, I'm not putting a timeline on children. Its too depressing to highlight the fact that my life didn't turn out the way I planned to put a stop date on something that, at this point, I'm not sure will even happen...
This is a sensitive topic for me. I'm 34 and don't have children yet. I was TTC for over a year with XH and exploring our options when I found out he was cheating. Therefore, I'd prefer not to put a deadline on things. It will happen when it happens.
Sorry...this wasn't intended to make anyone feel bad! Was just curious on other's thoughts.
I have always wanted at least 2 kids before I turn 35. I had my first at age 34... and now going through a divorce. I would like to have more.
Honestly, I used to think 35 is old .But now that I am age 35, I feel younger than ever. I think ladies tend to try to put a deadline on everything and only to be disappointed because some things don't happen like how they originally hoped.
My only advise is don't forget to stop and smell the roses each day at a time.
I only said 35 because DD will be almost 10 by then and I would want to start all over again by that point lol
I definitely want more within the next couple of years even if it meant having them on my own. I wouldn't consider having them on my own until after I'm out of school and have a decent income coming in.
I was always worried about having children later on in life because of the age gap between our generations. My aunt is 33 and my grandmother is 65, my grandmother has a hard time keeping up with my aunt shopping because of her medical conditions. My aunt and her husband go out to dinner with my grandparents but every time she says how much she dreads it.
Hold on, whut? Your grandma was 32 when she had your aunt...hardly old. My mom was 30 when she had me and 35 when she had my brother and she manages to keep up with us just fine. She has more energy than I do.
I think this has more to do with the fact that your grandma has some health issues. Most people are still active at 65.
Yes true. There is also a generation gap between my gma's era and my aunt. They have very different ideas and opinions. My aunt simply stopped telling my gma things. I think that pushing closer to 40 there would be a bigger gap and therefore be tough when the child is in their 30's and your pushing 70.
I like that my parents are 47 and 48. I have more in common with them and can relate to most things with them.
Uh yea. 65 isn't old at all. My mom had me at 36 so she is now 66. There is absolutely no problem in her keeping up. In fact I sometimes wear out faster than her. Her friends her age seem to be similar to her. In fact my Grandma who is 89 keeps up pretty darn well. We're taking her on a cruise. Also someone could have a kid at 23 and end up with serious health problems so I don't think you can bank on health as a reason.
I'm 25. I have no kids. The shop is closed already.
I still don't even know if I want kids and I turn 31 next week.
My Mom is now 74 and had me when she was 43, so I think there is still plenty of time for me to decide.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
I'm guessing maybe this is more because of the generation your gma came from, more than the age difference. I'm guessing things were more different between their generations than say my mom's generation and mine. My mom and I have VERY similar ideas and opinions, we get along well, are very friendly, yadda yadda, and she had me when she was 32. KWIM?
and for the original question, I'm 24, so I have plenty of time to figure it out. I don't even know if I for sure want a kid, if I do I think I just want the one. I have no issue waiting until I'm 35. I'd love to have plenty of time to live life and sleep in before making that commitment.
Me too. I guess it doesn't matter to me too much because my mom was 39 and my dad was 41 when I was born. I would rather make sure that I am making the right decision than concentrate on a number.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I'm 26 and my shop is closed.
I'm very happy that I had DS at 25. My mom had me at the same age and my sister at 28. For me, I like that she was younger when I was growing up and my grandma is only like, 70. She has 5 great grandchildren that she's able to be active with. She loves watching DS.
I don't think I have/had a "age" in mind exactly. I'm more concerned with the age gaps between kids. My youngest is 7 and I'm far from being in a relationship or considering more kids, so I think I'm done because I don't want two seperate families, you know what I mean? My kids are just shy of 5 years apart and that's a decent gap.
For what it's worth, I'm almost 34 (which I don't consider old)!
I'm thinking that my comment in the engagement poll post was what caused this topic to be posted ... sorry if it was a crude comment to anyone.
The reason I said my "shop" is closed at 40 really has nothing to do with me thinking 40 is old to be a mom. In fact, at 36 I can say I am one of the youngest moms in my ds' kindergarten class, so around here people tend to have kids later. My reason is because I have several joint issues from my dancing days that are just getting worse with age (already had surgery for some). They are in my hips and knees, and while that doesn't affect my ability to get pregnant, the older I get, the more painful the joints get. I can only imagine what extra weight from pregnancy would do to the joints.
That said, if I'm 40 and we are in the midst of trying, I'm not going to say, "Ok, and I'm done." But I want to at least be ttc by then. And SO is totally on board with that timeline and knows the issues and agrees.
I'm 37
I have one child with special needs. I am pretty much done. I learned never to say never but I am pretty sure I won't have more children