Starting Over
Audg
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Spinoff from NinjaPants post below.. how soon did you..
remove your wedding pics from your home or facebook, etc? My stbx and I are still living together and so all of our wedding pics and pics of us together are still up in my house. I want to take them all down and fill up the frames with diff pics, but for some reason I cannot get myself to do it. We also have a frame up where everyone signed it at our wedding wishing us well and all that bullsh!t. I want to take it down, because everytime I look at it it makes me sad to see where we've would up 7 yrs later.. but something is not letting me. I am SO OVER HIM so, I don't know why I am having a hard time doing this.
Re: Spinoff from NinjaPants post below.. how soon did you..
I deleted all pictures with XH (including wedding pictures) around Christmas. This was 3 months after we separated/he moved out, and the majority of my family and friends knew what was going on.
I took down all pictures of XH from my house a month after he moved out.
All of the wedding pictures came down after I found out about the affair.
The pictures were deleted off of FB when he chose divorce.
All of the wedding stuff has been boxed up in an opaque container and shoved under the stairs, in the back of the storage closet.
I removed all of my X's pics from my FB with 24 hours.
I did it because: #1) The media was all over the story and I didn't want to be linked.
#2) I was disgusted by him and didn't want to look at him.
#3) I didn't want anyone to think that I was standing by him or happy to be associated with him.
I wanted everyone (including myself) to know that my relationship with that man was over.
ETA: I created an album with some choice pictures to store away. When DD is older and has questions I will be able to share that with her. I sent everything else back to his parents within days of the arrest.
There were no visible pictures of me and my XH around my house after I moved out. (That was in Feb) I finally deleted the rest of them today. The next step is getting rid of my wedding dress.
It is sad doing it because like you mentioned... I didn't expect my life to take such an unexpected turn but pictures staying up like that is just a constant reminder and I don't want the emotional turmoil all the time.
Now, I just have to have a conversation with my dad to remove a few framed pictures of me in my wedding dress from his house. That could be awkward if I bring the BF to visit over the holidays.
We had just moved, so a lot of the stuff was already packed away. I packed the rest after he asked for a separation. I didn't remove FB photos until I decided to file for divorce. I actually removed my whole profile shortly after that - I went dark based on my lawyer's advice.
There are still wedding pics on MySpace and my college's attempt at a social networking site. Probably even on here if I searched for my old SN. Meh, I'm not overly concerned with those. I consider those things abandoned or archived.
ETA: Since my parents paid for the photographer, my parents took the wedding albums. My mom said she took particular joy in watching XH and his screwed-up family pass through the shredder.
I still have my wedding dress, veil, and shoes. I really need to get around to donating those.
I deleted pics from FB the week I filed for divorce. He kept changing his profile pic to different ones of the 2 of us together from my albums, which I kept deleting. It was almost like a game between us. I untagged and deleted any pic he was in on FB.
I move out of the house so taking them down in the marital home isn't applicable. My parents took down any pics from the wedding before I even came home to live with them.
I broke our relationship on FB when he was served and unfriended his whole family once he started using my status updates against me in negotiations ("she is going out with friends, she doesn't need alimony"). He subsequently unfriended all of my friends and family.
My XH destroyed our wedding album during our separation, and we never had pictures of us up in the house.
I removed all the pictures from my FB account about a month after I filed for divorce.
I still have all of the digital photos from the wedding in my online photo account, and I have no intention of removing them or destroying them since there are some great pictures of family members.
I left in May, took them off FB in July. When I went back to our house for stuff in July, all our photos were down and piled up in the spare room.
ETA: I took the wedding "stuff" from said pile and put it in a container that's now in my old bedroom at my parents house. He kept the professional photos that included his friends / family and just a few of us together.
My E-pics are still on FB...I renamed the albums to something like "Pictures from an Entirely Different Phase of my Life." I'm too lazy to go through and download them, but I don't want to delete them and lose them, since XFI and I are still on friendly terms. So, they're still up. Meh.
I have a box buried in a closet somewhere of the picture of the re-creation of him proposing, a charicature (sp?) of the two of us, and a few other things like that.
The pictures down the weekend after I found out he was cheating thanks to my friends. One of them got me out of the house to do yoga while another crew came in to clean up and put down new bedding. I have great friends!
I didn't remove pictures of us together on Facebook all at once, but gradually. I made our wedding pictures a private album so that only I can view them.
after meeting with my lawyer to start the divorce
honestly I think I only have about 4 pictures on FB of StbX and me together. The other 300+ pics are me with my kids... guess that about sums up our relationship over the past 5 years
This reminds me of something I talked to with my BFF. I mentioned some guy on Match had pis from his honeymoon up and she said it was weird. I said it wasn't because the last good pics I have of myself are from my honeymoon because it was the last time I was happy...they're also pretty much the last pics that XH and I have together. I think the presence of pictures in a relationship is very telling of what the relationship is like.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
About 3 days after I was told I was getting a divorce...I removed all of XH photos, wedding photos, etc. I also removed all photos from the house as soon as I was back home. A few months later, I threw away all wedding photos, etc.
I think the day after we separated I removed all photos from facebook and blocked him. I didn't have a lot of wedding/us photos on facebook at that point anyway.
Wedding photos came down within a week and went in a box because I was told I needed to keep them. About 3 months after our divorce I took the box to a dumpster and that was that.
I removed all FB photos about a month after I kicked him out, and hid my relationship status. I removed photos when I knew we were over. No point in waffling.