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Inappropriate Family Comments
Had an awesome Thanksgiving with my family, minus some harsh, unneeded words from a certain family member. While playing Monopoly with my cousins (who are 7 and 11 years old, and are relentless cheaters), I called them out on stealing some of my Monopoly money and taking my properties while I was out of the room for a quick second. It was all fun and games, and they started laughing and being defensive, saying they didn't cheat.... "Na ahh, we didn't take it, promise!" etc etc.
So then, my uncle comes in the room (the cousins' father), and he said, "It's OK boys. She's used to being cheated on." And then he looked at me and said, "Right?"
I was mortified. Then, to add insult to injury, they started repeating what their dad said... "Yeah, that's right, you've been cheated on by a man, so you know what it's like."
Unbelievable. There are some things that just don't need to be said. I told my mom the whole thing and she agreed that it was so stupid for her brother to say those things. She said he's a guy, and he's an idiot, and sometimes guys don't have filters. They think it's water under the bridge, and that women should just "get over things." Which is true, but dang, I didn't expect to have that thrown in my face when I'm supposed to be relaxed, at home, and surrounded by people I love. It bugs me that he so casually said something SO hurtful and stupid, especially in front of his kids. Needless to say, it stung. I know the kids are young and don't know what they're saying, but my uncle? And it's not like he was drinking or anything. He doesn't drink. He was completely, full on sober. I wanted to melt into the floor.
Re: Inappropriate Family Comments
Can I just say that I don't understand how a 7 and 11 year old would know enough about anything to put together such a statement.
Don't sweep this under the rug. Honestly- depending on your relationship w/ him, I'd be tempted to call him and tell him that those comments really upset you and you felt it was inappropriate to say in front of his kids.
If he tries to get on the "I was just joking/ lighten up" bandwagon - tell him 1- you didn't find it funny, and 2- it's not his place to tell you how to handle this situation.
If you can't do that, the next time you see him an dif he says it again, I'd get up and ask to speak to him in private and say what I said above....
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
What a fantastic idea! I should try that.
But seriously - I did let him know that I did not think it was funny. And my mom reiterated it the next time she spoke with him. He speaks out of his butt a lot of the times (about a number of topics). He doesn't take things seriously at all, and I think he just likes to speak to hear himself talk.
My cousins are like sponges. They absorb anything and everything their father says (and everyone around them for that matter). They're just at that age where they repeat everything.
I hope he apologized. What an ass.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Yep, this! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Nobody deserves to be talked to the way he talked to you.
This. Also, is he married? If so, I feel sorry for his wife.
I have a close relationship with all of my uncles and would just curl up and die if one of them said that to me. They were a big support system for my mom, brother and I after my bio dad split-so we have a strong bond with all of them. In fact, they would have kicked h's arse if he cheated on me..
Your uncle should be ashamed of himself and definitely should apologize to you.
Ditto. And if all else fails, do not be around this person at any cost. If you tell him his behavior is cruel and he keeps on with it, than he's just a complete asshat.
No, this is not a "guy thing". This is an a$$hole thing. I can't think of a single guy among my friends or family who would ever think it was appropriate or funny to say something like that. That really is disgusting, and it makes me so sad that he's passing his attitude and behavior on to his kids. I commend you for not punching him in the junk, and I'm glad your mom did end up speaking to him about it. The only chance his kids have to become decent human beings is if they see their dad getting called out on his jackassery.