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Family vent
My cousin is driving me crazy. She is trying her best - a little too hard at that - to make sure my mom stays occupied on Christmas. I can understand this, as I want to make sure she is too. But it's gotten to the point where my cousin has been calling me daily, "ordering" DH and me to spend the night at my mom's house on Christmas Eve (which we always did in the past except for last year since it was the first year in our new house and we had SD that night), and now she actually had the audacity to ask us if we could skip Christmas dinner with my ILs, saying "don't you think they'd understand if you didn't go this year?" Ummm....who do you think we're talking about, here??!!! My mother does NOT want to be fussed over. She is trying to get used to things with my dad being gone, she doesn't want us to spend the night on Christmas eve and she's definitely not going to agree to us skipping Christmas with DH's family. I know my cuzz means well but she really needs to back off.
And BIL is a 5 year old boy trapped in a man's body. He is all pi$$ed off and ready to berate SD for not wanting to be with all of them on NYE. She's old enough to decide what to do that night and she chooses to be in with grandma & grandpa and away from all the drunk drivers. She does NOT answer to him, uncle or not, and while I keep my mouth shut with ILs I will step in if he says one word to her.
I am sick of family BS today!
Re: Family vent
Yes SD is very adamant about wanting to be at home with her grandparents on NYE. DH's family always celebrated the new year together, since the time they were kids with their parents and they continue the tradition but now that our nieces & nephews are in their late teens, 20s and even 30s a lot of them like to do their own thing with their own friends and they get berated for that because according to most BILs and SILs, friends are nothings, strangers, and to them it's family or nothing. At least SD chooses to be with her grandparents (her mom's parents). She doesn't want to be arund her drunk, fighting family; nor does she want to be on the road with drunk drivers. And she likes being with her gp's and her dog. I don't think that's any of BIL's business and he has no right to berate her for it at all.
I'm calling my mom today to suggest she also have lunch or something on Christmas day with our neighbors. Her best friend - a neighbor around the block - passed 3 months after my dad so this is the first time for her family too. I thought maybe she should spend some time with them. I think it would humor my cousin, too, even though she needs to back off a little and stick to her own business.
Our family is usually the biggest stress around the holidays because my parents think it is okay to not be with their kids if they have to travel at all (like, even 3 hours worth of traveling). However, this year I am hosting all my family for Christmas, so we don't have to worry about it since they live about a mile from my house.
Jeff's mom is an RN and always works over the Christmas holiday, so it does bum me out that they can never come up for it or New Years. I was hoping I could talk them into it this year, but no such luck!
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@Danie - that'll be nice to host everyone at your house this year. I wish we could do that so we could be with both sides of the family at once. Only problem is, our house is too small, and since all of DH siblings smoke nobody ever comes over because they grumble about having to go outside (we're talking every 15 min.). Sorry your ILs won't be able to make it. :-( My sister & BIL live 4.5 hours away too so they're usually here for Thanksgiving but BIL always gets stuck working on Christmas so they never get to come. My parents always played it by ear to go up around that time to see them depending on the snow, but now my mom won't go by herself in the winter time. They live up north so they get hit a lot harder in the winter.
@Margaret - I talked about it with my mom and she's going to discuss Christmas with my cousin at their bowling leage tonight. She knows my cousin means well. She's just like her mother (mom's SIL); heart is in the right place but she drives people up a wall. As for BIL, he just never knows how to MHOB. He's worse than a girl. A HUGE gossip queen!!!!
I agree that family drama seems to intensify at Christmas. So sorry you have to deal with it this year.
Hopefully your mom is able to talk some sense into your cousin. I can see your cousin means well but your mom needs her own time in dealing with the absence of your dad this year, after all it will be her "new" normal
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