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I'm learning not to trust.
I am pretty pissedoff right now. STBXH calls me from time to time to ask about the paper work because my attorney's dragging his feet. STBX's side of it is all signed, notarized, and finished and we're waiting on my side to do the same. Well I haven't received the papers yet. I call and email my attorney daily, but get no answer, but I've realized that this is how it works. One day I'll just get it all in the mail and voila! I'll be divorced. Or so I hope.
Anyway STBXH called me just now to ask about the papers again. I told him that I didn't get them and I would let him know when I do. Then he goes off on how selfish I am being and how nice he is being to me and how he doesn't want to talk to me ever again because I only want to talk to him when I need something. Hello? I left you for a reason. Why do I want to talk to you? Like really. Anyway so he starts spouting out word for word things I've said to my "best friend" of 15 years while venting about him. Needless to say, just found out my bestie is a back stabber and talksshitonme behind my back. Fabulous. So I fessed up, calmly, and said "Yes, I said those things while I was frustrated and angry. Currently I am calm, but you say you don't want to ever talk to me again? Then why do you call and text me all the time asking about the paperwork? I don't call you. So if you don't want to talk to me again, please don't. My attorney will let you know when I receive and sign off on the paperwork." and I hung up.
I'm so angry that my "best friend" betrayed my trust like that and talkedshitonme to my STBXH. Seriously? She never ever liked him when we were together, why is she even talking to him now? Crapfuckshit I'm pissed. Why do people do these things? Jealousy? What can she possibly be jealous of?
Sorry, I needed to vent a little.
Re: I'm learning not to trust.
I'm sorry you're going through all of this. But just a quick comment on your lawyer. That is actually not how it's suppose to work. My lawyers always were in contact with me the day or day after they received the paper work. Most want to get this stuff cleared off their desk. For that reason I can understand that your ex probably really does think you are dragging your feet to make it harder on him (no excuses for his behavior).
Your best friend totally sux btw. I'm so sorry.
Wow.. that is deplorable best friend behavior. Have you talked to her about it yet? Perhaps she was sticking up for you to him and maybe that's how these things came up? Just trying to see the best case scenario....
I agree with PP about your lawyer... they should be at least calling you back within 24 hours!
I didn't have the most positive, speedy experience with my lawyer either. She would go out of town for weeks at a time, and she was never in the office to speak with when I needed her. I'd call her cell (she gave me her business card and the number was on it), and she said on her recording that she'd get back to me within 24 hours. She would never call back. It was the most annoying cat and mouse game I've ever played. A few friends of mine are lawyers (they don't do family law, so they couldn't do my case), but they told me that that wasn't uncommon. I had to basically ride my lawyer's ass to get my stuff done. Don't be afraid to call, show up at the office, email, whatever it takes to get stuff done. I finally got my annulment paperwork done in October, after filing in May. Which seemed like a long time in my opinion. (And we didn't have kids, property, or anything to split.)
Re: your best friend, are you going to call her out? I can't believe she would rat you out like that to your STBX. Really crappy move. Did you guys get in a fight and she retaliated?
That's the thing. I just called her out on it. I asked her to not tell STBXH anything about me and I'd like to know nothing about him. I also told her to ask her boyfriend to do the same by refraining to talk about my business and she played dumb! She was all "I don't know what you're talking about because I don't ever tell him anything." Which is crap. I know they've been hanging out because her boyfriend is friends with STBXH. It's weird too, because before I married him, she asked me not to marry him because she said he wasn't good to me. It's just dumb and it's disheartening to know that some people just can't be trusted. I'm so mad.
I'm in this exact same situation. My friend's boyfriend is best friends with my ex. It sucks because whenever the boys make plans, inevitably, my friend is always there too tagging along. I know she wouldn't be friends with my ex if it weren't for her boyfriend's relationship with him. It sucks, so I can sympathize with you. It's never easy when there are mutual friends involved, because they want to just be neutral and not get in the middle of it.
I've basically coped by not hanging out with my friend AS MUCH as I used to. We still email / text / talk often, but it's hard to make plans to get together. I'm out of town a lot, which is part of it, but it's almost easier to not see her, because I know she sees my ex a lot, and it's a reminder of my past life. But you are exactly right, some people just can't be trusted. I definitely have my guard up around them because I feel like anything I do or say could have the chance of getting back to my ex.
Perhaps your friend has simply told her bf the things you say and it is her bf that is telling your stbx? that seems like the most likely scenarios. You (and she) can't really control her boyfriend's actions and you can't really ask her not to tell her boyfriend things b/c if they are in a good committed relationship they are probably open about communication with each other. And if he is friends w/ your ex and she is friends with you it puts them in a slightly awkward situation. I would maybe try to refrain from telling her anything about in the future just to save face.
Its a sucky situation though and I am sorry you are dealing with it. I hope your lawyer gets her butt in gear soon so you can be divorced and done with it ASAP.