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My therapist put his finger on a sore spot yesterday
He asked me what I was doing with my free time. And unfortunately, I am not doing much. I got to work and then stay home. I am busy at home doing nothing and everything but I don't really see anyone outside of work. If I wasn't working, I wouldn't be seeing anyone. Sigh. I have 3 good friends that live 1.5 hours away but I haven't heard from them in weeks. I don't know if it's because now that I am alone I notice it more or if they are indeed scared to catch the divorce disease (2 are married with no children and one just got engaged). I sent an email to one friend on Thanksgiving wishing her a nice Tday bla bla bla. She emailed me that she thought about going to the stores at midnight. Just that kind of conversation. So I try to reach out to them. I also try not to talk about my divorce too much but they are good friends so they should be able to support me a little.
I have a plan in mind. Move out and go to a bigger city and get a better job with normal hours. I'll be closer to 2 friends and I will also be able to join groups and make new friends. But it has to happen.
I never thought I'd be spending the last year of my twenties so alone. I keep telling myself I took life for granted.
Re: My therapist put his finger on a sore spot yesterday
How quickly would you be able to move? Is there something you can do in the short term to get out of the funk?
You are not taking life for granted. You had a personal outlet (your STBXH) when you were married and that was taken away. Now it's time to built it up again.
Instead of waiting to move, why don't you start to volunteer or something? Soup kitchens are always looking for help, especially now that it's getting colder out. I met people through volunteering. Granted they aren't people I would hang out with outside of the shelter, it's nice to have people to talk to every week that you have something in common with.
Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a tough time and you're doing great so far
Take it frome me. It can be hard work, but it is worth it.
I forced myself to get out there. I am on a coed soccer team, took a ceramic class and made plans with my BFF at least once a week. Even if it was just to watch a movie and chill at her house.
Good luck girl.
I go crazy with too much free time. Until recently I'd been studying constantly but now that I'm not anymore I have much more free time on my hands.
A few weekends ago I made a DIY headboard for my bed and it looks awesome and was much cheaper than buying one.
I plan activities and time with friends. We are doing a craft day on Saturday and I'm actually excited for it. There will be holiday cocktails as well, of course!
I go to the gym whenever I can get someone to watch DS.
I cook and bake and will begin making my holiday platters this weekend.
Have you thought about volunteering or giving back to your community?
As for your friends, I would try not to take anything personally. I haven't seen much of my friends lately because its the holidays (Thanksgiving through New Year) and I been so busy with so much shopping, holiday parties associated with work and charities and so on.
Try to make plans and dates with yourself at first. As time go on, you will feel more confident and then can start inviting people and making concrete plans. I made so many real relationship through volunteer work.
Hang in there, from my experience, this is growth time to rediscovering your innerself and don't be so hard on yourself. I am sure all of us have been in your position at one time or another.
I'm kind-of in the same boat as you. I've been "putting myself out there" for years and where I live it just isn't working. I try to make plans with my friends, but they always cancel, never seem interested, or already have their own group of friends who they always do stuff with. I've gotten involved with a few groups/activities but they're not that interesting and I'm soo limited where I live. So I totally know what you mean about the "I only see people at work" thing
I've also had the same plan of wanting to move to a bigger city too where there are more people and more opportunities. If you decide to do it let me know how it goes. I guess I need some encouragement myself
I am not bored nor do I have too much free time, I am alone and lonely. It's hard to make friends when people are focused on their own family and are not looking to make new friends. I have A TON of acquaintances though. So I can at least hope that people like me.
BlackLuna, I will hopefully tell you how it goes. I just need to apply for a new job. I just got a promotion so I am waiting for now. Maybe the possibility of fighting in court because STBX is an asss will be the motivation factor I need to say fuckitall, I am out of this town.