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Had to leave work to prevent a meltdown

Because, thanks to my former coworkers, I learned today that the OW transferred to MY OFFICE.  We all work for the same branch of local govt and we have SO many office all over the county, but NO, she had to come to my office, where I have been for 3 years, and cover her cubicle with pics of her and XH.

I work on the other side of the building (there are still only like 100 of us in the building), but we share a bathroom and lunchroom. And everyone at work knows what's going on, because they all know me, and saw pics of XH on my desk and would he come to visit, and now she is telling everyone that they are married (which is BS). People are coming over, asking me what's going on, making up their own stories, because rumors are super prevalent in my office. 

ALSO, stupid XH had all the mortgage assumption paperwork sent to my house and told the mortgage company I was taking care of it. BS. HE needs to fill everything else because HE is keeping the house. I went there at lunch to drop it off and he was there. I called him out of shirking his responsibility with the mortgage and if he doesn't get it together, I will not hesitate to have him sanctioned. I also told him that he's a real class act for having is mistress transfer to my office. His response, per usual, "I didn't do anything wrong. And that's my personal life.' 

I want to rip his head off. I cannot wait for this stupid assumption to be done, so I never have to interact with him again, and, if he doesn't get it done, I have no qualms about having him sanctioned and asking that the house be sold immediately.

So I went home after lunch (and the run in) because i thought I was going to vomit.  

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Re: Had to leave work to prevent a meltdown

  • Ugh I'm so sorry!  Tomorrow is another day ((hugs))
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  • But I HATE that she is going to be there every single day of work. And I'm pissed that the whole office knows what's going on. I'm super private about my life otherwise. 
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  • To be honest, I think they look like fools. And I am pretty sure people think they are fools too. They might even lose some professional credibility. I would suggest you irgnore all this drama. If coworkers talk to you about them and the drama going on, change the subject/say you're not interested to hear about them. Be the bigger person. Also, stop talking about the OW to your XH. I think it was unnecessary to ask him why she moved to your office. You gave him the pleasure to see how hurt and betrayed you felt. DON'T give him that. Be neutral and straight to the point. Don't threaten him.
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  • imageLandOBiscuit:
    To be honest, I think they look like fools. And I am pretty sure people think they are fools too. They might even lose some professional credibility. I would suggest you irgnore all this drama. If coworkers talk to you about them and the drama going on, change the subject/say you're not interested to hear about them. Be the bigger person. Also, stop talking about the OW to your XH. I think it was unnecessary to ask him why she moved to your office. You gave him the pleasure to see how hurt and betrayed you felt. DON'T give him that. Be neutral and straight to the point. Don't threaten him.

    I agree, just be the bigger person (as much as it sucks). Although, if you sneak some ex-lax in her coffee now and then, I wouldn't hold it against you...

  • imageLandOBiscuit:
    To be honest, I think they look like fools. And I am pretty sure people think they are fools too. They might even lose some professional credibility. I would suggest you irgnore all this drama. If coworkers talk to you about them and the drama going on, change the subject/say you're not interested to hear about them. Be the bigger person. Also, stop talking about the OW to your XH. I think it was unnecessary to ask him why she moved to your office. You gave him the pleasure to see how hurt and betrayed you felt. DON'T give him that. Be neutral and straight to the point. Don't threaten him.

    Agreed, they look like idiots. Everyone knows sure, but people always talk.  Unfortunately one of the bad things about divorce is your once private life is the subject of discussion.  Eventually people will get bored.  Until then, don't talk to XH about her and talk to a counselor about how to cope at work.  One day is ok, but you can't leave everyday.  Deep breaths, it can only get better from here. 

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  • I know I need to breathe. I am now just emotionally exhausted. I was in counseling for months and I was feeling really good, but I was already feeling out of it today (I am coming down with a cold, didn't sleep well last night) and I was dealing with ridiculous problems all morning and this is just not what I needed. 

    I might need a counseling refresher appointment to deal with this hurdle.

    And you are right, people are telling me that she (and he) look like fools and they have no respect for that behavior. I need to tell them to stop talking to me about it at all though.

    Thank you all for listening and helping through all the drama that has been my divorce.  

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  • My wonderful aunt gave me great advice when I was going through my D. XH cheated with my at the time best friend. My aunt said "the best revenge is a life well lived." l remind myself of that to this day. I agree with PP's. As much as you hate it just let things happen. Tell coworkers its not your business who she is seeing, you don't care, and you are not comfortable discussing it, don't indulge them. Don't let OW see you upset about any of it. Karma WILL come back around to her and XH and honestly just let them hang themselves, because it's bound to happen. I know it's hard but there will come a day when this will be funny to you. Step outside yourself and look at how pathetic and desperate OW looks to all your coworkers! Let that speak for itself. Does your boss know what's going on? It might be a good idea, depending on how close you are to the boss and depending on what your office is like, to let the boss know what's going on. Don't bash OW, just simply say due to a conflict of interest I would feel more comfortable if you wouldn't put us together on tasks at this point in time. Don't point fingers or lay blame. I'm sure others here could help you word it more professionally but I'm sure your boss would be understanding of the situation. I can't imagine how uncomfortable this is for you but just breathe... Like we always say, "Onward and Upward!"
  • I kind of had a situation similar to this.  Except she was my BFF and I don't they every truly had an affair (sexting only).  I still work with her.  It's managable and not even an issue now.  It's been about a year since I found out.

    Basically, I'm saying that you'll be okay.  You'll find happiness and you'll see how much better your life can be.

    I know it's hard.  I'm sorry.

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  • That is so annoying!! I would probably have the strongest urge to write home wrecking hore on every single pic in her cubicle.  So cheers to your self control!
  • honestly as much as ths sucks right now, just please realize that THEY look like the asshats, not you.  they look soooooo trashy just based on your brief summary of how it went down (or from what i can guess).... super trash.  be thankful that you aren't hanging around garbage dumps anymore and hve moved on! :)
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