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three-some advice...

so my husband and i have considered having a threesome with another woman. i guess its always been a fantasy of both of ours and so we wanted to try it out. we had found a woman would was going to "do it" with us, but because of the strange circumstances it did not work out. (she was HIS co-worker...) so my question is..what are the down sides to having a threesome when you are married? what are the after effects?...then..if the couple decides to go through with it..how do you find someone who understands "no strings attached" and won't come running after your husband afterwards. know what i mean? and if I'm thinking illogically please someone tell me.

Re: three-some advice...

  • Funny how coincidental that the third was going to be his coworker.

    I'd side eye that in a hurry and give serious thought to why your H fancied a coworker for the threesome.

    Why am I thinking your H has a thing for her...but putting her in the sack with you with your okay is giving HIM the okay to fool around on you?

    Something is fishy  here. Table any more discussion about a threesome and get down to the bare bones with what's going on with your H. Methinks he's fooling around, or is going to, in the very near future.
  • imageTarponMonoxide:
    Funny how coincidental that the third was going to be his coworker.

    I'd side eye that in a hurry and give serious thought to why your H fancied a coworker for the threesome.

    Why am I thinking your H has a thing for her...but putting her in the sack with you with your okay is giving HIM the okay to fool around on you?

    Something is fishy  here. Table any more discussion about a threesome and get down to the bare bones with what's going on with your H. Methinks he's fooling around, or is going to, in the very near future.

    I agree somthing is not right.

    There is no way I would have a three-some in a relationship not to mention with my husband.   

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  • imageNCV2:

    imageTarponMonoxide:
    Funny how coincidental that the third was going to be his coworker.

    I'd side eye that in a hurry and give serious thought to why your H fancied a coworker for the threesome.

    Why am I thinking your H has a thing for her...but putting her in the sack with you with your okay is giving HIM the okay to fool around on you?

    Something is fishy  here. Table any more discussion about a threesome and get down to the bare bones with what's going on with your H. Methinks he's fooling around, or is going to, in the very near future.

    I agree somthing is not right.

    There is no way I would have a three-some in a relationship not to mention with my husband.   



    I think he's a skank for even considering the idea --- willing to bet this idea is his and his alone and he somehow conned you into it.

    Rethink him. You need him -- and his wonderful suggestions -- like a a fish needs a bike.

    And ugh...maybe my mind is running away with me but he wants to delve into this dicey territory with a coworker? Hasn't this ass ever heard of sexual harassment?

    You and he are married a year and a half and this jackass wants greener pastures already??? RETHINK him. Something is weird here.
  • imageNaturalBeauty:
    DON'T DO IT

    These 3 words, followed by 3 more:

    Run like hell.

  • imageTarponMonoxide:

    imageNaturalBeauty:
    DON'T DO IT

    These 3 words, followed by 3 more:

    Run like hell.

    perfect

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  • Here's an idea: insist on the threesome with a hunky, sexxxxy guy that YOU work with.

    See if he's game for the idea.
  • Before you agree to have a threesome ask yourself if you would be upset if your H cheated on you. If the answer is yes, don't do it. I've seen successful "open" marriages, but I could never imagine it working for me. If you do go for it, you probably shouldn't do it with anyone that either of you see on a regular basis.

    Me: Endo, PCOS & septated uterus (removed) DH: perfect 4/11 lap to remove endo 6/11 start ttc 4/12 - 10/12 6 cycles of clomid no O 11/12 hysteroscopy to repair uterus 1/13- 2/13 2 cycles of femera no O 3/13 HSG- partial left tube blockage but uterus "repaired" 4/13 first month of injectibles Follistim - cancelled due to overstim 5/13 natural cycle due to cysts
  • imageseritt41710:
    so my husband and i have considered having a threesome with another woman. i guess its always been a fantasy of both of ours and so we wanted to try it out.

    ... how do you find someone who understands "no strings attached" and won't come running after your husband afterwards.

    The best way would probably be to hire a professional whore, not someone either one of you works with.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Some things in life are better left to a professional. Electrical work, delivering babies, threesomes.

     

    Odds are real good a decent whore will have a couple group-encounters under her belt, and will probably not have any issues getting YOU off as well. Do your research though, there's plenty of online resources that will help you pick the right one for both of you.

  • Ditto PP's! If it's truly something you wanted to do then we could talk. Considering he already has someone in mind means he's trying to sleep with said woman and get away with it by disguising it as a threesome. Having a threesome isn't like deciding to go out for dinner, eat at a place and say "I didn't really like it lets not go there again!" Trust me, I've been in this situation. I've had threesomes with my XH. The problem was HE couldn't handle the rules and believe me there are a lot of them. If you want your marriage to end then by all means hop into bed with his coworker! If YOU truly in your heart of hearts want to have one, you need to take A LOT of time to discuss this, what the boundaries are, and find some other place to pick up women. 
  • We have done both NSa(no strings attached). He knew the girl and I knew the guy. If you are in Love and completely honest with each it will be no problem and alot of fun. If your jealous or a wacko feminist or your man is jealous don't do it. For us it worked great and has led to even greater sex between the two of us.
  • imageTarponMonoxide:



    And ugh...maybe my mind is running away with me but he wants to delve into this dicey territory with a coworker? Hasn't this ass ever heard of sexual harassment?

     I could not agree more here. I think it's utter madness to even consider inviting a coworker of either one of you into your bed--what's that saying about sh#$ing where you sleep, or eat, or something? 

     Personally, I think threesomes are an epic fail 99% of the time, and better left to single people who aren't risking a MARRIAGE by exploring that fantasy. But if your relationship is strong enough to handle a third party, you absolutely need to consider the ramifications of WHO that someone is. This is a woman your husband works with--without you--who he will see frequently after having sex with her. Seriously?!

     

  • As many PP have said, I'd be a tad concerned about the fact that he had someone in mind.

     

    Going forward, if that's not a deal breaker, there's got to be rules to this other person in the bedroom. For me and mine (at the risk of TMI) there's certain things he's not allowed to touch/do. Biggest one is kissing to me. I don't know why, I just think that's a very special part of our relationship and I don't want to share that.

    I also get to pick the woman, time and place. As for contact, it's an NSA thing, with the exception that if we decide to move forward for a second time, I take care of the contact with her. 

     He's just excited of the fact he gets to have that experience with me. As long as the rules don't get broke, we have a loving intact relationship. But you need to be 100% happy and secure in your relationship.  

  • I had a threesome in college. I was single and was invited by a couple to join in the festivities in honor of his birthday. There was much alcohol involved that night. I never saw the couple again so there was no drama involved.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Even aside from the obvious issues with the difference between sexual intimacy and sex as fantasy fulfillment, do you realize that the third person is a PERSON, not a toy for the two of you to use?  Because judging by some of the responses, I think this point frequently gets lost.
    image
  • I think there?s nothing wrong with spicing things up with a three-some, though I would NEVER do that, it doesn?t bother me thinking of other couples trying it.

    What I don??t like about your post is the IDEA of bringing a co-worker into the picture. I agree with the other nesties that there is something very fishy about that.

    If your DH wanted to do a three-some, he should have NEVER bring in someone close to him, as someone said, it?s better to seek "professional help".

    I wouldn?t trust  your hubby, sorry.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I find it alarming that you have NO idea the type of effect a "threesome" will have on your marriage..So DONT DO IT!
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