August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
The Bump question
Uhm... are there any sane boards over there? The more I lurk, the more I think people should have to pass a test to become a parent.
And also, I've said it before, but the phrase "it's not all puppies and rainbows" is the most overused, trite expression on these boards. Seriously, people need some new material. I respect people so much less when they use it.
Re: The Bump question
HAHA, so true.
The Bump is such a weird mix of naivety and stupid snark. I've learned a few things from the theme boards like cloth diapering, attachment parenting and breastfeeding (love the BFing board BTW. They are very nice there.)
I spent most of my time on the birth month board until they started the FB group but I can't say I ever got as close to those ladies as I have to this board.
I was never a fan of the tri boards but the babies 0-3 months, 3-6 months etc are OK.
I think BOTB is the board that's really tight knit and witty like the the SB board on The Knot, but I haven't lurked there long enough to know for sure.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
That.
Like Ringy the "educational" boards like CD or even Baby Gear and Nurseries can be helpful with providing information (even if just for lurking). As for a place to "hang out" I only feel comfortable on the loss related boards since I don't have to put up with things like "gender disappointment" or "I just peed on a stick and posted it on FB immediately" type of posts that just generally grind my gears for obvious reasons...
Last pregnancy I did enjoy the BMB for the time I was on it, aside from 1 in 4 posts being dumb, but this time around the BMB just rubs me all the wrong way, but that's probably my issue for having cynicism and the fact I'll never feel "safe" in my pregnancy . I'll probably move to PAL after PGAL if I'm lucky enough to get there....
BFP#1 11.2.10 | EDD 7.9.11 | HB 7w2d & 8w4d | missed M/C 11w2d | D&E 12.21.10
FSH at 14.5 - 4.21.11 | CCCT - (CD3 8.8,CD10 12.2)| dx w/ DOR @ 28 yrs old
IUI#1 + clomid 8.29.11 (our anniversary)
BFP#2 9.10.11 | EDD 5.21.12 | beta 1 @ 14dpi:232 | beta 2 @17dpi:703 | beta 3 @24dpi:7,174
Baby A HB of 142(7w), 161(8w), 164(9w) | Baby B no HB, Vanishing Twin
I've learned to love my month board, but that's because we started chatzy at night time. I get to know the people that are more laid back and in the same mind set as me. They did start a FB group, but to learn real names after just learning all the SNs is absolutely insane.
I also recommend the info boards more than the others. I learned a lot on the cloth diapering board and BFing board. It will get better.
Yes! That's exactly what it is. Even the snark is super lame. People are constantly jostling for positions of power on the boards (which, clearly, is achieved by your ability to point out other people's stupidity) and I just find the whole thing so silly.
ECHC - oh my gosh, the gender disappointment posts are RIDICULOUS. I'm so horrified by how much people take for granted.
There are people on my BMB who posted immediately on FB - posing with jars of Prego sauce (WTF?) that seems to be the thing on my board
- and all I could think about were the multiple losses my aunts suffered. I don't know when I'll be comfortable telling people IRL. I haven't told my parents yet, and I'm so nervous to say the words out loud because I feel like I'll jinx things.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
FWIW, I'm still pretty uncomfortable talking about it outside of with P, my best friend, and posting on the PGAL board. I just feel like I'm lying. I am starting to get a belly, and I listen for the HB a few times a week to keep me sane, but it doesn't feel real and I'm not sure when it will. I'm not hiding it at this point, but we've made no announcement other than telling our close friends and family and now will be telling other friends/extended family with our holiday card (pic in sig), but when people ask me about it, it's just weird and pretty uncomfortable since my reaction is a bit more hestitant than the usual reaction of excitement.
The boards are just tough bc I find most people are attention whores who worry more about the color of the nursery then whether their child is born healthy.
BFP#1 11.2.10 | EDD 7.9.11 | HB 7w2d & 8w4d | missed M/C 11w2d | D&E 12.21.10
FSH at 14.5 - 4.21.11 | CCCT - (CD3 8.8,CD10 12.2)| dx w/ DOR @ 28 yrs old
IUI#1 + clomid 8.29.11 (our anniversary)
BFP#2 9.10.11 | EDD 5.21.12 | beta 1 @ 14dpi:232 | beta 2 @17dpi:703 | beta 3 @24dpi:7,174
Baby A HB of 142(7w), 161(8w), 164(9w) | Baby B no HB, Vanishing Twin
That's exactly how I feel. I haven't gone through a loss myself, but watching so many others... family, friends... and they've lost at all different stages. There is no magic safe time. My BFF at work lost her baby at 32 weeks for reasons unknown - the doctors couldn't figure it out. So, I feel painfully aware that just because I'm pregnant now, nothing in the future is assured. At the same time, there's so little you can do about it, so I'm constantly waffling between the whole what-will-be-will-be/ let-it-go mentality and complete refusal to get excited about this until it's a done deal.
And then I also feel badly because I feel like my concerns mean I'm cheating myself (and Phil) out of enjoying the experience. It's a rich tapestry of emotions.Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I do like my BMB for the most part. (Mind you it is August because that is when I was due, and I never moved to July once they were born) There are a few people who get under my skin, and I try to stay out of the drama when there is some. (I am to old for HS drama last I checked, but it does give some reading enjoyment some evenings) They also have a FB group, which I am a part of, and post when I can on that.
I do lurk/post on the Multiples board and enjoy the ladies over there. They have a FB group as well, but I haven't requested to be a part of it.
I very much agree with the others sentiments regarding the general vibe on TB. There is a LOT of unnecessary snark and playground mentality. I post on my BMB but don't really feel part of "the group".
Part of that is from being so close to the end of the month. A lot of them were posting together for almost 4 weeks before I showed up. The other part is the general attitude. I like to think of myself as a very compassionate person, so the losses and struggles that people here have gone through really touched and affected me. I was terrified the first 12 or so weeks, and all I could think about before our a/s was that I wanted the baby to he healthy. I could not have cared less about boy/girl, as long as things looked good.
Derek didn't get it at all. He was just so excited and wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He even got a little mad at me for not being more excited. I had to explain that I could be excited by still scared.
We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
I don't think I ever posted on my BMB because of the cliques and crazies. I felt more comfortable posting on GP Moms so I was able to stay off TB will still asking questions of the moms who had been there done that.
kaesha - all I can tell you is to embrace the fact that today you are pregnant. That scary feeling of "what if" will never go away, not even after that healthy baby is born and placed in your arms for the first time. The worry then becomes about this tiny person who is now relying on you for everything and how much you love them and want to keep them safe and protect them for the rest of their lives. It just goes with the territory of becoming a parent.
You're right, I know. Letting go is hard to do sometimes... I'm trying though!
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I'm finally starting to let some of my fears go and try and just enjoy this pregnancy so I understand where you are coming from.
I really only post on my BMB (with raynes!) but I do find it to be quite clique-y. I lurked at first because I didn't want to post at first (and didn't even tell you ladies until later) and I know that is part of the reason why I don't feel like I fit in completely, but, whatever. I have you ladies. Yeah, I can't deal with the gender disappointment posts and some of the other general nonsense.
This is so true. The worrying really never goes away. I was constantly thinking that something was going to happen. I was excited to tell everyone but I always had the what ifs at the back of my mind but knew that the people that I had told were the ones that I would want to know if something had gone wrong.