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Cute, Pet Diary
I saw this probably 15 years ago, but someone posted it on Facebook today, and it still makes me laugh and smile, so I figured that I would share. Enjoy 
Excerpt from a dog's diary
8:00 am: Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am: A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am: A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am: Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm: Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm: Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm: Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm: Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm: Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm: Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm: Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpt from a cat's diary
Day 983 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ?good little hunter? I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ?allergies.? I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow ? but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released ? and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe?for now?
Re: Cute, Pet Diary
Hahaha, that's too funny!
I was imaging that my dog and cat wrote this and it seems pretty darn accurate.
lol this cracks me up everytime i read it as it totally describes my animals. LOL
thanks for the laugh!
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