August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Really beautiful, thought provoking post on judgment
I was complaining yesterday about the Bump and the snark there... I'd decided that I refuse to post in threads like UO and FFFs, because that's just so counter-intuitive to building community... so when I stumbled across this post, it really hit a trigger for me.
We rationalize the way we judge people all the time for a million different reasons. I just thought this was really beautifully written. Take a moment to read his follow-up post with comments he received too. Heartbreaking and hopeful (and provocatively named:
Re: Really beautiful, thought provoking post on judgment
I was just having a conversation about this with my Mom the other day.
My brother is gay and it blew her mind when I told her that some of my friends have been disowned or thrown out. I just sent her this article. Thanks for sharing.
I thought that was amazing. I liked it to facebook so hopefully some of my friends that are awesome..notsomuch...will read it and think a little.
For the record, I do participate in FFF and UO. Our board doesn't really judge others so much as they judge themselves.
A very powerful blog post. Thanks much for posting to the board--it's so easy to slip into judging. Something like this is a great reality check and reminder that we're all human and deserve love, hope, respect and dignity. But we need to return it in kind, too.
So true. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to express an opinion, it was just watching one UO thread spiral out of control that had me contemplating the purpose of them.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I am bawling at the responses.
Last night, MIL sent me us a "forgiveness prayer" but it was literally a LONG list of "Lord please let me forgive xyz person for abc ways in which they have hurt or wronged me." It was really uncomfortable to read, and I think it was hard to read for precisely the reasons this post talks about.
V often likes to say that we strive to be more in the "love thy neighbour" rather than the "judge thy neighbour" camp of Catholics. It's one of the reasons why we continue to go to our church downtown even though we live farther away now; for a Catholic church, they are more liberal than most.
I had to fight my dad to "let" my uncle bring his partner to our wedding. It really infuriated me that my dad thought it was his right to allow (or disallow) that when there were no questions asked about every other relative and their spouses. It all worked out in the end but that battle was really upsetting at the time.
More generally, what this author said about the need to be "better" than others really spoke to me. It's so easy, practically natural to do.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
I hear ya Ringy. My Catholic high school NEVER preached against being homosexual. I think they knew they'd have a riot on their hands.
When I was a teen, my church (I'm Anglican) hired a youth coordinator... he was great at getting us deals and bringing us together, but about a year into the job he started telling us all that being gay was a sin, going to hell, yadda, yadda, yadda - which is interesting, because our branch of Anglicanism is super inclusive, so he wasn't really aligning with the church's mandate. A group of us went to the rector and the guy was fired within two weeks.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
Thanks for sharing the link Kaesha!
What I think happens to the majority of people (or people being referenced in the article) is that they feel "unsafe" when others don't think or act exactly as they do. Because they don't understand someone else's reasonings for their beliefs or actions, they have to immediately be afraid and therefore cast judgement for doing something that is different than what they themselves would do.
I don't have a problem with people who are religious whatsoever, my problem lies when religious people tell you "you aren't good enough" or "you aren't right" and try to evangelize and get you to think and act just like them. Why would we want to live in a world where everyone acted, thought, dressed, looked, etc the same?? I'll worry about myself and make sure I'm living a safe, loving, neighborly life and hope others worry about themselves, bc whatever I decide to eat for dinner has no effect on you....
BFP#1 11.2.10 | EDD 7.9.11 | HB 7w2d & 8w4d | missed M/C 11w2d | D&E 12.21.10
FSH at 14.5 - 4.21.11 | CCCT - (CD3 8.8,CD10 12.2)| dx w/ DOR @ 28 yrs old
IUI#1 + clomid 8.29.11 (our anniversary)
BFP#2 9.10.11 | EDD 5.21.12 | beta 1 @ 14dpi:232 | beta 2 @17dpi:703 | beta 3 @24dpi:7,174
Baby A HB of 142(7w), 161(8w), 164(9w) | Baby B no HB, Vanishing Twin