Military Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Intro and Christmas Question :)
I've posted a few times recently (but I've lurked for awhile now!) so I figured I should do a quick intro.
I'm Starlit and DH is AD Air Force (prior AD Navy). We've been married 4yrs but have only been in the military life for the past year (his Navy years were before we met). I was a NICU nurse before having DD but with moving to where DH is stationed, his hours, and the crappy job market I have been a SAHM for the past 18 months.
I cut ties with my family years ago and sadly have no friends where we are currently stationed so it gets pretty darn lonely....hence my lurking on the boards! I joined the base mom's group and recently the officer's wives club but so far haven't really connected with anyone.
We just got the phone call yesterday with DHs deployment information and I seem to have a permanent rock settled in my stomach. Blah! I was already unhappy about the info (obviously) but then we got a call 5 hrs later saying there had been a glitch and they "fixed" it so his deployment would actually be 2 months longer than we thought......oh joy!
In an attempt to keep in a happy Christmas spirit I am trying to think of something fun/useful to get DH for Christmas. Something that he can take with him. Any ideas? I obviously have NO clue what deployment is like or what is available.....and I have no idea who to talk to other than you ladies (most of the mom's in my group are wives of residents so they have not been through a deployment yet). I obviously can't give out details but DH is a nurse so he will be on a base (if that helps with ideas). Maybe something like an iPad? Do they get wifi? He isn't a big reader so I don't think a nook would interest him.....
Anyways here is my intro and I would love suggestions for gifts (or just how to survive the time leading up to deployment...I almost wish he would leave tomorrow just so I can start counting down to him being home!). Thanks ladies!
I'm Starlit and DH is AD Air Force (prior AD Navy). We've been married 4yrs but have only been in the military life for the past year (his Navy years were before we met). I was a NICU nurse before having DD but with moving to where DH is stationed, his hours, and the crappy job market I have been a SAHM for the past 18 months.
I cut ties with my family years ago and sadly have no friends where we are currently stationed so it gets pretty darn lonely....hence my lurking on the boards! I joined the base mom's group and recently the officer's wives club but so far haven't really connected with anyone.
We just got the phone call yesterday with DHs deployment information and I seem to have a permanent rock settled in my stomach. Blah! I was already unhappy about the info (obviously) but then we got a call 5 hrs later saying there had been a glitch and they "fixed" it so his deployment would actually be 2 months longer than we thought......oh joy!
In an attempt to keep in a happy Christmas spirit I am trying to think of something fun/useful to get DH for Christmas. Something that he can take with him. Any ideas? I obviously have NO clue what deployment is like or what is available.....and I have no idea who to talk to other than you ladies (most of the mom's in my group are wives of residents so they have not been through a deployment yet). I obviously can't give out details but DH is a nurse so he will be on a base (if that helps with ideas). Maybe something like an iPad? Do they get wifi? He isn't a big reader so I don't think a nook would interest him.....
Anyways here is my intro and I would love suggestions for gifts (or just how to survive the time leading up to deployment...I almost wish he would leave tomorrow just so I can start counting down to him being home!). Thanks ladies!
Re: Intro and Christmas Question :)
Welcome!
Internet access varies a lot. While I was deployed, we didn't have access to Internet outside of work, and as you probably know, lots of websites are blocked. I couldn't access Facebook or personal email until I went on my midtour almost five months in. My husband, on the other hand, normally has Internet access because he goes to more established bases. Electronics would have been pointless for me, but they're handy for my husband.
I got my husband a nice set of sheets for his bed because the one's we're issued are normally used and worn down. We also love our compact microfiber towels for our 3-day pack. They take up much less space than a cotton towel and they dry really quickly. We've always had community showers (like a trailer with shower stalls) so a hanging bag is very helpful (like the kind you can hang in a locker).
I personally found crossword puzzles and word search books very helpful. I had trouble turning off my mind and lost a lot of sleep. The word games helped me take my mind off the gross stuff. Also, before my husband leaves, I write little love notes and hide them in his stuff, one in a boot, one in his wallet, etc, for him to find as time goes on. It's so nice to feel loved when you least expect it.
I hope that helps a little.
I hide little notes in MH's stuff, too. He likes finding them as time goes on.
I think an iPod might be more useful to him than an iPad. You may also look into a digital picture frame. Load up a bunch of pics of your LO and family pics. Put some pics of your self on there as well. Maybe even other family members, pics of your house and other things he loves. He won't have much personal space, but one of those picture frames can hold up to 100 pictures.
I also like the idea of sheets, a good travel pillow or a blanket.
How do most people work it with skyping/calling home? The only real reason I had thought of the iPad was for the facetime app on it (to talk to DD whenever he could). I'm assuming we will learn more about what he can/should bring as the time comes closer I just thought I could use this to figure out what Xmas gift I should get him (he is the only one left on my list and I am lost! haha!).
It would really help if I knew someone around here who had been through this. The women I've met either haven't been through a deployment or have husbands who are retired. Everyone that DH works with (it is a small group) are still waiting for their first deployment so no help there! Everyone who had been on a deployment PCSd right when he got here.
As the other girls have said, communication, including internet, skype, and phone calls - is going to vary based on where he is. Where my husband is now in Afghanistan he can usually call me everyday to every other day - for about 5-15 minutes usually - but he is an intel officer and he has a DSN phone in his office. When he leaves the base and goes to smaller areas or out on "missions" or whatever, I don't hear from him at all. There is a big room that has computers people can use to skype on, but he hasn't used it because the lines are long and it isn't private. They do not have wifi where they are, and they also aren't allowed to plug anything into computers. As for facetime, you need wifi for it and like I said it depends on where he is headed. My DH has never had wifi on any of his deployments.
I was going to suggest a kindle for my husband but because they can't plug anything into computers, it's kind of pointless - unless you were to load him up with books before he deploys.
I never had the ability to Skype from my part of Iraq, but my husband was able to Skype me on his last deployment. They had wifi, but it was really slow because of how many people relied on it. Sundays when football was on were impossible to get a solid connection. It all just depends. I had the ability to call DSN, so I called every other day or so. He didn't have access to a phone other than the community center and the line was ridiculous at all times, so he called once a month and we relied on email in between.
I didn't bother to get my husband a Christmas gift this year. I did find awesome reflective belts at berefective dot com, and that'll be the pricy item in his Christmas care package. I didn't want to get something only to have it collect dust while he's gone and for something better to come out before he gets back.
The best bet is for your husband to ask someone who's already at his deployed location. I got a "Welcome Aboard" letter with a point of contact right before I deployed.
I'm sorry about the deployment news. Just got the word yesterday that DH's deployment got pushed up and now he won't be there for the birth of our 1st child.
I have been pretty upset and it totally got me out of the Christmas mood as well so you are not alone.
I am trying to come up with some ideas for DH as well but haven't really come up with much. I was going to try and invest in some good headphones for his ipod or laptop.
H is in Afghanistan, and our video chat rarely works, the internet is just too spotty. A lot of people get facetime to work, but H doesn't have an ipad/itouch, etc., so we just deal with it. The phone works, and I get calls once or twice a week, which is fantastic.
I have to say that I dealt with the leadup by only focusing on the positives about it, and we didn't have the issues I've seen other couples have (sniping at each other, etc.). It's a combat deployment which is fantastic for his promotion chances, obviously the extra money is useful (we're maxing out his SDP, which is something for you guys to look into while YH is gone). I'm pretty lonely where we live, because my two best friends recently moved pretty far away, but I work which has made it really easy to not miss him as much, because I'm just too busy. Are you wanting to return to work at all? I know one of the old regulars on the board has gotten pretty into Mommy and Me type classes after she moved OCONUS. That might be even better for you than the wives clubs. I personally can't be involved in the spouse groups because I have very little in common with the spouses in terms of personality.
Deployments don't have to be bad, even when it's hard, it's not the worst thing ever, at least for me, though we have no children, so I can't comment on that aspect.
Good luck, welcome to the board, and continue posting!
A kindle or tablet of some sort and if he will be in a location with limited electricity one of the energizer battery operated chargers with the appropriate charger attachment and LOTS of batteries.
and upload books before he deploys!
Thanks!
I can say the worst part is going to be having to be the sole care provider for a toddler! I want to sleep forever just thinking about it! We also hope to get pregnant before he heads out (it will work out that he will either get home just in time for the birth or miss it by a week or two.....if things go like we want).
I'm not really wanting to return to work (never thought I would say that!) and with the hours I would 7pm-7:30am it would be really hard to find childcare (one huge reason I ended up just doing the SAHM gig!). I am looking at going back to school after he leaves since I am about 2/3 done with my master's....hopefully that fills some time!
Good to know I am not the only one who just isn't clicking with the other military wives. They are nice but they seem to be either 19 with kids or much much older. The few that have been around my age just have WAY too much drama between themselves!
I've given my self 48hrs to have a self pity party about the deployment news (16hrs left!) and then spend these last months enjoying having him around. No more pity parties until he is gone. He is flying in my two BFFs for that week so I will have someone to cry with and I've scheduled a bunch of trips around the country visiting friends
The pay and increase in promotion chances is a definate upside though! Guess this will show me what I'm really made of! haha!
I can totally relate. DH is AD Air Force too and currently deployed. His unit moves around a lot, so there have been several weeks where I was able to talk, skype, or e-mail him almost every day, but at other bases not nearly as much. The internet connection isn't so great sometimes.
I ended up quitting my FT job before he left because I am pretty sure if I did not, I would have been fired. I hated it anyway - half my paycheck was going to daycare and I had crappy benefits and not much PTO. DD was in daycare and always sick, especially last winter. I know it would have been an issue. I am working on my MBA too, so we just decided it would be easier if I quit the job. I love it and enjoy staying home with her now.
I miss the adult interaction, and like you, I don't have close friends here - just acquaintanaces. The wives I have met with kids DD's age are all younger and there is so much drama. The older ones are nice, but I have nothing in common with them. So, I know the feeling. It stinks not having at least one close friend or family nearby, but staying busy helps a lot. Between school and chasing around a toddler all day, time has started going by faster. I hope it flies by for you.
My brother had great internet in Iraq and skyped all the time. My dh and I have tried skyping about 2 times and it sucked. There is no bandwith where he is at. The internet company gouges soldiers with $120/month for internet access. The MWR has public computers if you want to wait in line and battle the contractors for the strict 30 minutes of time you get. I cannot believe that after 10 years, things are so crappy in Afghanistan. Nobody is listening either - it's not even worth trying to write a politician. We usually talk on the satellite phones which are like cell phones 10 years ago.... hello? You there? hello?..... can you hear me now???
I think an iPad is a good idea. My dh has a nook out there b/c he reads a lot. However, he can't download anything for it so he's only reading stuff he downloaded before he left