Buying A Home
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Does anybody buy a home to stay in anymore?
It seems the majority of first-time home purchases nowadays are meant to be "starter" homes, and the buyers intend to move to a bigger/better place in a short number of years.
Does anybody buy a home for the first time anymore and intend to stay in it throughout their life, or until retirement? It seems like in my parents/grandparents generations you bought a home when you got married, and stayed there, at least until the kids moved on and you got too old to want to maintain a family size house. How uncommon is this way of thinking these days?
Re: Does anybody buy a home to stay in anymore?
It's not a "way of thinking" so much as reality of life in the 21st century. The American population is much more mobile these days. 100 years ago, 50 years ago, people were much more likely to stay near their place of birth because of the cost of travel. You got a job at the factory when you were 14 and stayed there until you turned 65. Or you worked the family farm. The factory doesn't exist anymore, and family farms are increasingly rare. Unless you're in a major metropolis, I think it's unrealistic to expect someone to find everything they need for a fulfilling career with advancement in one place.
You'd probably find this report from the US Census interesting. About half of all Americans currently live in the state they were born in.
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Thinking of doing cosmetic updates to a dated home? These were our costs.
This is exactly my situation with the house we just bought. I'd love it if we stay in this house forever, but I bought what we could afford that will fit the family I hope we'll have. I don't know how it'll actually feel once we have a family (especially as they start getting bigger).
My parents did live in the same house their entire lives, but they had to extensively remodel it once they had kids to add a third bedroom and a second bathroom. Instead of remodeling our home, we'll likely move to a bigger house -- but hopefully in the same area.
Unfortunately, things happen.
DH and I had a house we'd have been very happy in long term, but he ended up being offered his dream job and that meant we had to move out of state.
So we bought a house there, again planning to stay. Turned out that what the schools were like on paper and what the schools were like in reality were hugely different. Once our older DD was approaching first grade we knew we had to move since her attending the public school there was out of the question and we certainly couldn't afford (and honestly really didn't want) private elementary school for both kids.
The house we're in now we intend to stay in until the girls go to college. They're in 3rd grade and K now, so we should be here a while unless something unexpected happens like a job transfer or unfavorable redistricting.
Everybody is in different situations. Some are single and not married, so they buy a smaller home simply because they're not married and it's what they can afford on one income. Why bother with buying a huge house if you're not married and probably not even going to have kids? The single people who make lot of money may buy an expensive house, but not huge...they may buy the "highest quality" homes with the top of the line fixtures, flooring, kitchen, etc.
There are the married couples who do not have lot in savings and have not so luxurious salary. They'd buy a "starter" home simply because it's what they can afford at the time...then when one of them gets a big raise or promotion, they may want to buy a bigger home when they have children.
There are married couples who have great income that would take advantage of the current situation: low interest rates and low real estate cost. My husband and I are in that situation. We currently do not have children, but we plan on having some in the future. Since we both have awesome income with stable jobs, we're taking advantage of the current situation by buying a big house (5 bedrooms) that we'd be living in for at least ten years. We'd be living very comfortably financially. Some of our friends are giving us the look and think that we're crazy. BUT we'd be crazy to buy a smaller home only to have to buy a bigger home in 5 years when the interest rate may go up and the housing market won't be as good as it is for us now.
In my area I don't think the first home being a forever home is financially possible for younger couples. We live (in what I consider to be) HCOL. There is no way we could afford a home right now that would be big enough for us to live in forever, and we're not even just starting out. Everything around here is so dang expensive!
I dont call it a "starter", I call it a "6-8 year" for each home. lol We're in our current house going on 9 years, and the house that we'll be buying next (shortly) will probably also be "6-8 year" home.
DH and I bought our first house almost a year ago (its a ranch 2 bedroom). We're in our early 30s and if we have a kid, it will be the only one unless we're suprised later down the line.
We bought our home with the intention of staying here until we retire or yardwork becomes too much of a hassle and sell when we're older. We purposely found a ranch home so climbing stairs as we age won't be an issue.
There was no way when we bought that we could have afforded a "forever" home. First off, it is a HCOL area. Secondly, we knew that we'd ultimately want a 4 bedroom which are difficult to find in our area, so you pay a premium for them. Third, we have no attachment to the area. We moved here due to DH's job, have no family here, and we'll move again if needed. Therefore, we bought a nice home we like a lot, could live in for 5+ years, but is far from what I envision settling into for the rest of my life. If any of the above reasons had been different, then I would have bought a house that I could see myself staying in for the long haul.
This is our situation right now. We close on our house 1/26 and it is our 20+ home. We have a 6 month old and have been renting since, well forever ago, so it was time to buy. We bought big because we could and the interest rates are amazing. The house itself has everything we wanted but just needs some small fixes and cosmetic work. The best part, the school district is great and the house isn't far from work for either myself or my husband.
Five years just isn't generally enough time in a home to make the purchase financially worthwhile. Even if your home doesn't lose value, it takes time to earn enough equity to pay for realtor's fees, closing costs, moving costs, etc....and there is a big difference between buying a home to stay in for 20 years and buying a home to stay in until you die! We are currently shopping for our "almost forever" home, but "almost forever" for us is until our kids leave the house and we plan to downsize and move to something smaller/one level as we plan for retirement.
FI and I bought our starter home this summer. We'll probably be here 5 years, max, before we move on to our 'forever' home. Even our next place might not be our 'forever' home, but it'll be a bit more permanent than this one. We couldn't afford the house we'll live in for most our lives just yet, but we were ready to take the plunge and buy our first place.
I'm really glad we bought our first place now - it gives us a chance to figure out what we want in a house before we commit to something for the longer term. This house has taught us a lot, and will continue to do so over the next few years we're here. It means that when we finally do go to buy what we think is our dream home, it probably will stay that way for many years. And we'll be better prepared - mentally, emotionally, and financially - for it.
I'd guess that the reason most people are starting in starters these days is financial. There's more uncertainty, and (at least in my area) the cost of living has gone up quite a bit.
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That's an interesting way to look at it, and I can see how it would work that way for you. However, I personally disagree. Of course I want to grow and experience more than what is just in my immediate area. That's why I want to travel a lot. I also have a lot of opportunity in my area as well as quick commute to NYC, so I don't see myself as being limited in my career choices, either.
Like other posters said, I know stuff happens. But at the end of my traveling and exploring, I want to have a stable home to come back to where I feel comfortable. I also want my kids to have that same experience.
I think your opportunities to grow as a person aren't so much limited by your geographical area as they are by your own drive.
It wasn't the plan, but it's a possibility.
I'd feel stuck if I told myself that one place would be my place for the rest of my life. I want the possibility of moving somewhere wonderful, new and amazing if the opportunity arises. Also, I anticipate that our needs and lifestyle will change a lot between buying our first place in our late 20s, and when we're in our 40s, and when we're empty-nesters. It would be hard to find a home that would match our lifestyle and needs throughout all the rest of our lives, I think.
Actually, I think that's just a myth - that your parents/grandparents bought a house when they got married and stayed there. Many got married and lived in a tiny apartment or rental house while saving their 20% downpayment for a house. They lived like they were poor for years. And when they bought the house it was under 2000sq ft, and if they were very lucky it had more than one bathroom. And then they raised 3 or more kids in a 3 bedroom house with no study and no craft room and no luxuries. But if grandpa moved up in the world, you better bet that they moved house too - they had an image to maintain and did the keep up with the Joneses thing too.
I guess I grew up in a rural area and people bought a farm and a house, and lived there until they were too old to take care of it anymore, possibly adding to it or making renovations over the years. My great grandma just passed, she lived in her house for the last 74 years.
I moved to the state capitol 5 years ago after my divorce, and most of my peers here have no plans to ever leave the city. I checked, and my state is #8 in the nation for percent of the native population born in their state of residence. And we don't have many bigger-sized cities, and those that we have are several hours apart. So, once established, relocating isn't too common here.
I just can't imagine it's financially worthwhile to save up a downpayment, get a mortgage, pay closing costs, pay mostly interest for several years, then try to sell the house, get another one, pay closing costs again, pay mostly interest for several more years...do it again, etc. It seems like you would never get ahead, unless you could sell your house for a significant profit (which just isn't happening these days, unless you rehabbed a distressed house).
I'm also disagree with Mrs. Photogenic, though I see her point.
My DH and I just closed on our 'forever dream house' at the end of September. I have an excellent job (and I drive an hour and 10 mins each way) every day. Eventually, I can work a day or two from home. My DH stays at home with our 10 mo old son and is a motorcycle mechanic by trade.
We bought a very unique sort of hexagon shaped home with 15 ft ceilings, a 40 ft tower and amazing window views, along with 10 acres. There is room to grow as a family and we have 10 rare square acres to explore, hunt, sled, and ride dirtbikes on. We are close to 3 lakes with boating and fishing. A great area to raise children.
We heard the schools are top notch; it was confirmed in talking to many people in the community and looking at test scores, etc. They are family oriented and are a community within a community.
And I don't believe at all - that my DH and I and our child (and eventual children) will stop growing. In fact, we will continue exploring and growing and being happy. It's a hasty generalization to say that people can live and die in the same place without growing. How would you know? You don't. To each their own. I plan and living here and dying here and enjoying everything my country life gives to me in the way of family values, gardens, flowers, views and activities; while appreciating my former city life (and commuting life) and everything great that affords me and my family (great restaurants, art, theater, etc).