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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What would you think if your friend said this?
Over the weekend my friend comes to me and says, "your boyfriend is totally my type, both in looks and personality. It's a good thing I'm not attracted to him."
I'm not typically a jealous person, but something about what she said rubbed me the wrong way. Like, I felt like she was saying, "lucky for you I'm not attracted to your bf."
When she met him for the very first time, I thought she paid a little too much attention to him. Also, when we went on vacation together she kept saying, next time we need to bring F. (F being my bf)
Absent any other sketchy behavior, how would you take your friend saying something like that?
Re: What would you think if your friend said this?
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Agreed.
This.
Um, that IS basically what she said...& she wouldn't be a friend of mine.
She totally let the cat out of the bag on her private thoughts. I think it is a totally inappropriate thing for her to say because she is totally disregarding your feelings.
She might try to make you feel insecure to sabatoge your relationship. Don't let her get to you.
I totally agree....
We're kind of going out.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
This gets my vote too.
Based on my life experience, I'd be very careful with this friend and not let her get too close to your BF. It takes a special kind of uberwhore to try and steal a friends man.
This! Is she one to joke around about stuff like this?
I find that "jokes" of this nature are often pretty darn serious.
Ugh. I'm sorry. I hate this.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Yup...this would bother me.
Also agreed. If a friend of mine is dating someone who is attractive I might say "wow he's cute good job" or something along those lines but I would NEVER say wow he is totally my type... that indicates wanting him in ways that are inappropriate considering he is a friend's bf.
Thanks for the replies. Good to know that I'm not crazy for giving my friend the side eye over this. This friend never jokes about things like this. In fact, she's super territorially about guys she's dating or interested in, so it was pretty surprising coming from her.
She's been a very good friend to me, especially when I was going through my separation/divorce, so I'm not ready to completely write off the friendship. However, I will definitely keep my eye on this and choose carefully the time I spend with her and bf together (not because I'm worried about about how bf would react, but because I don't want to have to go BSC on my friend if she takes this any further.)
Your friend considers you to be the wingman.
And she totally thinks that if she wanted to, she could steal your boyfriend.
monitor closely
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
This is exactly what I was thinking too.
Similar situation for me... She's not your friend anymore, she crossed that line when she made that comment. Keep your distance...
Yeah, this. She thinks she could have him if she wanted and boy you are lucky she doesn't! I'd back off from her. She may have been a "good friend" to you during your divorce because she could feel superior. I have had a few friends like that. They were awesome when my life sucked, but if my life got good, they would make little digs like that to bring me down so they can feel superior again.
Honestly, no FRIEND of mine would ever say something to me like that. I would let her know "bish I will poke your eye out for looking at my man" then side-eye her ass from now on.
Exactly. It's like she's saying if she wanted him, she could have him. Inappropriate at best. She would actually try to steal your bf at worst. It sounds like you and her have a decent past, do you think you could tell her the comment made you uncomfortable?
I would take that to mean that she is attracted to him, and that she'd try to get him if she could. This is not a friend.
I got this vibe as well.