Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What does this mean?
Newbie coming out for advice
Went to the office Christmas party with a co-worker/friend and ended up going home with him at the end of the night. I just got out of a LTR and am not looking for anything and he has told me in the past that he is not a relationship guy at this point in his life. I know he frequently has FWB.
Well we ended up sleeping together, but no sex was had. As we're getting ready for bed, he tosses me a t-shirt and shorts to wear and makes mention that his high school self (the shirt had his hs logo on it) would have been over the moon to see me wearing them. So we fall asleep with his arm around me and I wake up at various points during the night to find his hand up my shirt on my back and on my stomach, but no moves anywhere else.
The next morning, we slept in until almost noon and then I did the walk of shame back to my car. We've texted back and forth a couple of times since, but that is it.
What does this mean???
Re: What does this mean?
It means you're foolish enough to go home with a coworker for a quick bang, and fortunately it did not happen. Be prepared for your workplace to know you spent the night there, and that he considers you someone he'd bang but not have a serious relationship with.
You are lonesome, most likely, just having gotten out of the LTR. Don't wander off into Stupidland just because you're lonely. If you're looking for a new relationship, don't get sucked into "whatdoesitmmeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaannnn???" idiocy of a man telling you he doesn't want a relationship but asking you to stay over.
Neither one of us are looking for a serious relationship and are good friends who share a lot of personal info with each other so I highly doubt that the workplace will know about it. I am not worried about that. We're both relatively young with little to no real responsibilities and both just out for a good time.
Then why are you worried about what it means?
Work on yourself right now, instead of jumping into bed (sex or no sex) with another man. Physical relationships can stir up feelings regardless of the intentions behind them. If you just got out of a LTR, you're likely not ready to jump into bed with someone, especially a co-worker.
The LTR ended 6 months ago and I've made a lot of changes to myself since. I'm not worried about this, just kinda curious to see if anyone had any thoughts.
It means this: We've texted back and forth a couple of times since, but that is it.
You're welcome!
WTF? This is:
1. super rude
2. pretty prudish
3. not advice
OP, you're probably in your early/mid-20s, right? If you can trust your coworker to keep his trap shut, I'd go back to the "friends zone" with him (and stay there, probably) if I were you. No harm, no foul.
Agreed. I've been in a similar situation and it didn't turn into anything. I wouldn't expect anything more from this guy/situation, but also wouldn't stress about it.
This is pretty harsh!
OP - I don't necessarily think it means anything, but it doesn't sound bad? Maybe he didn't make a sexual move b/c he respects you and you work together. Just see what happens, move forward with no expectations.