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sort of venting, sort of a WTF post.
So, on friday we found out one of DHs good friends (and ex girlfriend) was in the hospital. I never cared that they were friends because it was a long time ago and they both moved on, she got married had her own kids, and obv DH did the same. However.... for many many years they were each others "rock"... and her family never *quite* let the dream die that they were meant to be together. (Her fam, not her) and she's recently divorced, or in process of doing so.
Anyway -- theyve remained good friends even though they dated for a while during HS and right after --over the years we've been busy with our own families so contact is limited, but always check in on each other every so often. and her and I get along very well.
(the back story is sort of important)
We find out she was in hosp, she had actually been there since Mon but No one called us to let us know, and I found out fri when she was well enough to post something on FB. SO, i told DH, he made a few calls and got the info so he texted her he'd be over Sat morning to visit her.
When he gets there they're chatting and comes out that one of her best friends (also a mutual friend of DH) made the comment::
"J better get his a$$ here soon to visit you".
now, when J told me this story I flipped out. for 2 reasons.
#1 before you open your mouth and make a comment maybe make sure J knows she was in hospital. NOT ONE person called, texted, Fb'd us to let us know she was there all week. WE found out on our own 5 days later....
and #2 - I think what made me the angriest --
Why do people (making that comment) feel like he's still the white knight that should swoop in and save her? He doesn't feel or act that way- why do others think its HIS job to "get his a$$ there"? I mean, clearly he did bc it is the right thing to do but I felt like making that statement was a disregard for me, as a wife.
Am i being sensitive?
does this post even make sense?
Re: sort of venting, sort of a WTF post.
I would in general let it go for now. However that kind of comment would make me think she might still have some kind of feelings for him that get discussed with others. I would encourage the distance to grow more distant. It's hard when ex's are friends unless you were really not inlove then it's hard to just be friends.
I don't think I would be so happy either.
Oh, DH is well aware of my feelings on the comment made, LOL.
He told me bc he was annoyed that the comment was made in the first place. He was annoyed from the angle of "how the F am I to know she was in the hosp if no one called me"...
then i went on my rant about how its rude to think he's the white knight blah blah blah. He understood my feelings and agreed with why i would feel that way. So, I am in no way upset at him in this situation. Luckily. haha
This is exactly what I would think and think you have every right to be frustrated and PO'ed at the situation. Tell DH how you feel and like August said, put some more distance b/w you all. It is nice to be friendly with ex'es, it is quite another to feel threatened by them.
Ummm, this exactly.
Same here.