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WWYD? Seeing MIL in 2012
So, we just went home to the US to visit family and be at my sister's wedding in Nov. My sister and parents recently moved to TX, so we paid to have my MIL come to TX with us (she knows my family well). This way, we would not have to feel bad about spending so much time in TX, and DH could get a long weekend in with his Dad in CO too. No hurt feelings for MIL.
We were planning to go home for a friends' wedding in VA in May 2012 (where MIL is so we would see her too), but now we just signed up for an expensive dive trip in April. There is no way we can afford (or really shouldn't) to do both.
I would like to spend next Xmas in TX with my family, and then skiing in CO over New Years with FIL. Since we're not going home in May, we won't see MIL all year! I don't want her to come to TX with us again next year.
Would you pay to fly your MIL out to see you instead? One ticket out to BRU is better than 2 to VA. I was thinking about her coming over for Eastertime (she is a bus driver and would have some time off already - and we get two days off around easter weekend).
The problem is that I would feel bad if MIL does not see us, but DH doesn't care too much. It was a lot for him to spend a week with her in TX while I was busy being matron of honor. She just really loves him and focuses all her attention on him when they are together, that's a lot for an independent guy like DH to take.
If DH does not care, should I not care too? Not worry about it? Have any of you guys gone a year without seeing your parents since becoming an IN?
We're headed to the Maldives on Christmas Eve!
Re: WWYD? Seeing MIL in 2012
I have never gone a whole year without seeing my parents but family is really important to me. I call home every day and try to see my parents twice a year.
If you can afford it then I think you should offer to pay for her ticket. Maybe, she can be a bit annoying by showering so much attention on your DH, but she probably does it because she loves him and missess him. I think it would be a nice gift for her.
Honestly, I wouldn't feel bad about not seeing my MIL once a year. DH and I rarely get to go home to see my parents, so it wouldn't be a big deal to us. It's been just over a year since I've seen my parents, and probably won't go back anytime soon for financial reasons.
If your DH doesn't care much, don't worry about it.
We went more than a year without seeing my mom. She lives on the opposite end of the country than everyone else in our family so it's always more difficult to see her. Honestly, it's your DH's call and if he's fine with it, I don't think you need to make a fuss of it. I call each of my parents and my grandmother once a week or so, DH probably once every couple months? He just doesn't need the constant contact like I do.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
I'm not sure if I'd want to pay for a whole ticket to fly her out. Especially if YH doesn't care all that much. Maybe offer to pay half of the ticket, or the price difference between where you would live in the US and BRU (as in, if she could fly out to TX and that's 400 and flying to BRU is 650, pay her 250.)
Question is, if you'd live in the US, on the other side of the country, would you be seeing her more often or would you be paying for her to come visit you? Whatever that answer is, should lead you to what's best now. The fact that there's an ocean between you instead of a whole lot of land shouldn't mean that suddenly you have all the financial responsibility of seeing people.
My food blog
What I'm looking forward to in 2012:
Eating our way through (northern) Italy on vacation
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DThanks for all the great advice. I think all of you made some good points.
For now, we covered more of her costs of TX than we originally planned - and asked her to put the extra $ she would have paid us back into a savings account so she could come visit us next year. Hopefully she will get motivated and save some more $ to come see us.
If DH does not care too much, then I will try not to either. If I just don't mention it or plan anything - I bet nothing will happen. It's not like we're trying NOT to see her, so hopefully she won't get her feelings hurt. Esp since when we go home, she will be the only grandparents close to us (not a plane ride away) so most likely she will see the grandkids the most. I will be sure to remind her of that ;-) haha
We're headed to the Maldives on Christmas Eve!