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WWYD? - Saying no.

H's cousin is planning to be in our neck of the woods at the end of this month/beginning of January and has asked if he could stay with us for a week.  He doesn't want to fork out $ for a hotel - which I understand - and since we are here, it'd be convenient.

This cousin has had a falling out with the rest of the extended family, and was never all that close to H.  H doesn't dislike him or anything, but doesn't want to spend much extra time with him either.  We are TTC, and that week will be an important one.  Bottom line, we just want to say no.

However, we don't have a good excuse.  Just saying "Sorry, that won't work for us" sounds much easier said than done.  We don't want to burn bridges or be rude... but want to say no.  Any ideas on how?

TIA!

IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
FET - BFN
FET - BFN
Switched clinics
IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
Baby Boy born July 2015

Re: WWYD? - Saying no.

  • It only seems easier said than done because you haven't done it yet.
    image
  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    It only seems easier said than done because you haven't done it yet.
    This!  Seriously, just say "That isn't a good week for us".  If he pushes for a reason (which only makes HIM rude), all I would say is "it's a busy week and it doesn't work for us to have company.". 
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I think you just have to say it. It will be hard. Otherwise you are going to have to lie and say you're out of town or whatever and that just gets messy.
    BabyFruit Ticker www.MyVacationCountdown.com Ticker
  • Actually - I have to ammend what I said.  I dont' think I'd say "that's not a good week" because that could lead him to change his plans....  dont' want to do that.

    I'd stick to "Unfortunately that won't work for us".  If HE pushes from there about "what about another week?", again, just fall back to "things are really busy for us and we just aren't able to host someone in our home right now".

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • "I'm so sorry but that's just not a good time for us, what with the holidays and all. Let us know when you get to town, we'd love to have  dinner out with you and catch up!"

    SAY IT.

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • agreed with the above post..sometimes its just inconvenient to host someone. He may not want to shell out money for a hotel, but that means you having to shell out good moods whether your in one or not, him showering and eating at your house...etc. Just say your really sorry but it just isnt going to work.
  • You not wanting to host him is a good enough excuse to not host him. Just because he doesnt want to pay for a hotel doesnt mean you need to feel obligated to take him in. "No" can be a complete sentence.

    I like the PPs suggestion of saying you cant host him, but maybe could meet somewhere for dinner one of the nights.

    imageMilitary Newlyweds FAQ Button
    I changed my name
  • Let's recap, the guy is a mooch to ask to spend a WEEK with a cousin he isn't close to, does not get along with rest of the family, and then invites himself because he is too cheap for a hotel. You did not extend an invitation and with all this in mind maybe now it is a little easier to say the words, "no that will not be possible."

    I'm at a loss at what bridges you are going to burn? Saying no in this circumstance is not setting fire to a bridge and certainly not with this cousin.

  • PPs are right... you should just tell him it won't work. If he's really persistent, I would consider offering my house for one or two nights if you cannot/do not want to offer the whole week. It's rude of him to judge your life anyway, but it's a nice gesture to offer something and even 1 night will save him the cost of one night's hotel expense. 
    image
  • If you don't want to say it's not a good week because then he might pick another, you can always say "I'm sorry, we're not set up for houseguests".

     

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • Thank you all!
    IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
    IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
    FET - BFN
    FET - BFN
    Switched clinics
    IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
    FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
    Baby Boy born July 2015

  • Late to the game, here, but am I the only one who thinks "Sorry that won't work for us. We're ttc, you know" would stop the cousin dead in his tracks?
    image

  • imageMixedBerryJam:
    Late to the game, here, but am I the only one who thinks "Sorry that won't work for us. We're ttc, you know" would stop the cousin dead in his tracks?

    It probably would, but that isn't exactly information that we want people to know.  Honestly, we haven't told anyone...

    IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
    IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
    FET - BFN
    FET - BFN
    Switched clinics
    IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
    FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
    Baby Boy born July 2015

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