I had really nice time and I am glad I went. The whole dress hunting, excitement and all did not turn out what how I had vision it to be, but I made it and everything worked out.
I have to say, this experience was one of the hardest thing I had to go through. It seems so silly that I would cry over dressing up for an event and not cry at all when I went through my divorce or through violence or anything like that. Therapist says it all makes sense because I struggle internally and I was finally being aware that I have feelings, I just don't know quite how to use them yet and still got a lot of exploring to do. The dress hunting, while hard was actually a good assignment for me(though I am deeply exhausted from it).
Funny thing is I got a really sparkly beautiful, flirty and fun dress but I bailed on it at the last minute. As much as I wanted to shine, I wasn't quite ready yet. I was not at the point where I was feeling confident and I didn't want to attract men attention either. I knew my dress was moderate (It was funny watching the girls get uncomfortable when the men came by our table and their cleavage was showing, they were practically trying to cover up at the last minute.) I opted for a simple black dress, it was somewhat sexy but in a very subtle way and cleavage totally covered.
I learned that I have a long way to go as far as healing and discovering myself, how to be that confident and fun loving girl that I know I am deep inside. At least I am aware and try to focus on how to improve and dig deeper to let that fun girl shine. One day at a time.
Here is pic of me at the formal event. I had cropped everyone else out to respect for their privacy.

Re: f/u on winter formal (also a confession vent)