Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Bridal shower question...
As the MOH in my friends wedding, I'm starting to plan her shower. I really don't know most of the BM's, but I've been sending them emails with my ideas for it and of course asking for their opinions as well.
I've received basically zero responses and the one or two I did receive gave no opinions...just like an "ok, whatever" sort of response.
I had to send another email asking what their expectations were for chipping in money-wise. I told them that all of the weddings I've been in, the cost was split evenly between the bridesmaids and I asked if they were ok with that. So far, two of them have basically said they are not ok with that, but they would try to contribute "something".
Is this normal? I thought it was normal for the cost of everything to be split evenly. Thankfully, the bride's mom is chipping in as well, but I feel like it's ridiculous for the other BM's to think that the two of us will be shouldering the cost alone.
Thoughts?!
Re: Bridal shower question...
In my experience, if the shower is being hosted by "the bridesmaids" then everyone chips in.
But, there have been instances where the other BM's didn't want to pitch in, or were unable to, and I shouldered the cost myself but I also took all the credit for it. I was the host, I ran the show, and the other BM's just attended as guests.
Maybe you should just take their disinterest as a sign that they don't want to be involved and just run with whatever you want to do.
That is how it has been for all of the weddings that I have been in. However, the last wedding I was in the MOH refused to let anyone pay for anything even though everyone offered. Then she complained about how expensive it was and how it was ruining her life. Which was very annoying.
I don't know, I always thought that when you accepted an invitation to be in a wedding there was some understanding that you would be footing at least some of the bill for certain things (shower, bachelorette party, your dress and accessories, etc.) but from being on TK, I guess that's not everyones assumption.
All of the bridesmaids split the cost of my shower evenly and any time I was in a wedding we did the same thing. I feel that is part of the responsibility you take on when you agree to be a bridesmaid.
You shouldn't have to pay for this on your own or with just the brides moms help.
both of my showers were hosted by aunts/counsins from both sides of the family, bridesmaids attended as guests.
I think if the BMs are hosting, then everyone splits. If people aren't willing to do that, then they don't get credit as hosting, IMO.
When I was MOH I planned the whole shower and none of the other bridesmaids pitched in. The MOB and I paid for everything, but I went into the planning process thinking it would be the two of us hosting and mentioned to the other bridesmaids that if there was any way in which they wanted to help out with the shower that would be great, monetarily or otherwise, and basically got 5 girls telling me they'd help set up which was totally unnecessary since there wasn't a ton of stuff to set up so I just did it all myself.
From what I know about the planning of my bridal shower my MOH and my mom paid for most of the shower but with other bm's pitching in on a few specific items (one girl bought the invitations, another paid for some favors, etc...) but it was my mom and MOH who "hosted" the shower.